Queen Emo

Queen Emo

Okay I know I’ve talked about this a million times now but I’m seriously very proud of this fact ok. Today, in -1 celcius, I walked out with only a tshirt, a pair of jeans and a jacket. I’m wearing what I will normally wear to the cinema/mall in Malaysia except that this is almost 20 degrees colder! Am I brave or am I super brave? wtf. So if I come back to Malaysia and keep complaining about the hot weather then it’s not my fault ok! You’ll probably see me in shorts and tank top everyday, even in cinemas and malls.

My bravery aside, I shall talk about my issue with money, again. Ya lah I’m sorry if this is the most important thing in my life ok. I mean, money is not THAT important until I will choose it over love etc but it’s important enough for me to choose it over my own happiness. One, I really hate it when people tell me how I should spend more cause there isn’t any point in saving all my money forever but what they don’t get is I’m not saving it till I die, I just don’t think I should spend it on stuff that isn’t that necessary lah.

The fact that I have money doesn’t mean I’m rich or I should just spend it what. Two, what I ABSOLUTELY hate is how people say I’m studying in the states = I am rich. I am so not ok! If I am then why would I struggle so much to get a scholarship? If I am do you think I’ll be as stingy as I am now? As if I like being stingy omg I obviously wish I can buy anything I want or travel to anywhere I want where got people like to be stingy one! As if I like hunting like crazy for clothes less than $10! If I can I wish I can just go into a shop and buy something without having to head straight to the sales section ok.

I really want to start paying my own tuition fees starting from next year and not ask from my parents instead ok. This is my own education, I don’t see why they should pay for it. I wish I can tell everyone to just please understand, I don’t like and I don’t want to be stingy, but I’m just thinking way ahead than I should. What if I don’t find a job after I graduate? Who’s gonna pay for my expenses while I hunt around for jobs? What if my first job only gives me enough money to eat? Where do I get the money to buy car/rent house/get married?

My two siblings can’t even go overseas cause my parents are already paying for mine, so I really really want to support them later ok. My dad has to work in a freaking far place and leave my family behind and only come back once in 4 months. All that just to pay for my college so how can I simply waste that money to spend on myself?! I’m damn emo now lah T____________T Please dont say I’m rich cause my dad is working in Dubai and cause I can afford to come to the states, I’m really not. I worked really hard to get this scholarship and I’m only paying what you pay in Malaysia too please please please don’t ever say I’m rich.

Shit lah fucking emo fucking emo fucking emo furcdkif fekeomowdmqfoqwor3.

Do you realize that when I’m not emo I use a lot of wtfs, when I’m emo one wtf also don’t have but got a lot of OKs. I sound like I’m trying to convince everyone about my emo-ness so keep saying ok? ok? ok? wtf

Ok lah I’m not emo anymore, came to my senses already wtf. Actually sometimes my stingy-ness also melampau already one. I have so many examples!

1. I will always squeeze my sentences in one line and if I have one extra word to write I’ll NEVER ever write into the next line lor! One line must be filled with at least 6 words wtf. Also, I will never skip one line, EVER. Unless if I really have to like to separate notes taken on different days.

pictorial evidence:

See, die die must write all in one line even if I have to put ^ and write above it wtf.

2. To save my highlighter, I will only highlight absolutely important stuff and will highlight the bottom of the words only.

3. For ‘special’ pens, that are pens above 80 sen ones like those cool 0.4mm Pilot G2 (RM3.80 or so) or whatever, I will only use them to write very important stuff like my name wtf. My most expensive pen which is like RM5 or what lah, the super fine ink type, is still with me after 5 years. And I only used 1/4 of it in the last 5 years! That’s the amount of ink used to write my name in exams/books for 5 years wtf.

I know I’m a freak wtf