sad

sad

amidst all that flurry of packing our bedsheets and kettle and books and clothes and winter coats and all that taping up of boxes, writing our names and class, wrapping nice stuff in newspaper so no one will steal them, deciding which tops i should bring back, weighing my luggage, panicking about how everything is too heavy and that we wouldn’t have enough strength to lug them all up to the storage room 34810 miles away…..

heck my first year is over already.

it’s sinking into every part of me clearer than ever now. my first year in college is already over in a blink of an eye and as much as i wanted to just leave this place and just go back home, going back is the last thing i want now. having audrey, angela, shan shan and mild to get me through my first year made me wish to always have them all by my side until i graduate. but the party will be gone soon and there’ll only be the two of us next year.

i feel like i did so much the past year and learned so much, more than i could ever imagine and if i have a chance to do it all over again, i would. i just want to do all this all over again, and again, and never have to move on. i hated this place so much when i first came but i think i’ve grown to really love it. i just really don’t know how to love it as much when most of the people i love here won’t be here anymore. sigh.

this past week really summarized my entire first year. fun. crazy. hectic. fast. emo. happy. sad. too much worrying about nothing. loved. well-fed.
i don’t think i’m too excited about going home yet but i’ll try to be. i know i will be. plane food, in-flight movies, malaysian food, family, friends, jiameei, home, here i come.

p.s: i’m so proud of myself! since everyone is busy packing and throwing things out, i found my new favorite hang out place..the trash room wtf. i like to just go down there to see what’s free and yesterday, i collected a grand total of 5 things. free boxes to store my stuff (yay don’t have to buy!), huge sketch book to play pictionary/win lose or draw with (which i think is pretty useless now so i will have to just throw it away =( ), magazines whee!, a dust collector thingy and free bottles of water! yays! anything free is good ok bye