July 31st, 2008
Suet is always angry
I was talking to a bunch of friends yesterday about random various things which started because my name on msn is Queen Suet is always angry. They asked me why was I angry and I said I don’t know, I just feel like I’m perpetually angry. like there’s a fire inside me which can never be put out.
Conclusion 1: I’m never satisfied with how things are.
A friend told me that he has a lot of non-monetary problems (he’s very rich) (he’s timothy tiah wtf) and I just simply cannot imagine what other problems could there be that do not involve money. To me, honestly, money IS everything. Money can easily buy MY happiness. With enough money, I don’t have to work so hard for a scholarship, don’t have to work part time for allowance, don’t have to eat lousy canteen food, don’t have to buy cheap makeup and get rashes, don’t have to think 38312 times before buying something and end up NOT buying it, don’t have to be called stingy, don’t have to save, omg the list is endless.
Without all these constrains, doesn’t that equal happiness?
I might be wrong. or right. I guess I’ll never know. When I’m rich someday, I think there will be more things that I’ll not be happy with. I might have enough money but not a good enough husband, or enough money but no kids etc sigh I guess no one will ever truly be happy.
Conclusion 2: I’m aiming further than where I am now, thus the feeling of dissatisfaction which leads to anger
Hypothesis: people who are less ambitious, or don’t aim that far in life, or are easily satisfied, they are the people who are truly the happiest.
Another friend told me that why my relationship is perfect now is because we both have no ambitions. I got offended immediately because doesn’t that make us…useless? Does that mean we don’t aim further and will never go far in life? But after much thought, I guess it’s true. I can safely say now that I will throw in anything for this relationship.I think I used to be more ambitious before but now, I really couldn’t care less anymore. jaded with life? I really don’t care how successful I am cause I just want to be with someone who makes me happy at the end of the day.
Wait. contradiction?
Sigh I’m so confused =(
What really is happiness? I don’t know anymore =(
Does happiness come from money and what it can provide you with? Or does it come with being with the person you love most?
Conclusion 3: My body is too heaty
Tze thinks what I said about feeling like I have fire in my body which can never be put out is because I’m too heaty HAHAHHA which I think could be true! I was under the sun all the time in Redang, I ate so much durian and curry these days PLUS all that drama with firefly….
Aiya whatever after typing all this nonsense about being unhappy and angry and money and relationship, I think the only remedy to my problems is something that will reduce the heat in my body wtf.
p.s: sorry don’t feel like reading comments.
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