It took me two days staring blankly at my Write Post page, wondering how to write this post. I want to make it perfect, but try as I might it just seems flawed. I want to make it sweet, but try as I might it just seems lame and cheesy. I want to make it something you’ll never forget, but try as I might whatever I write seems so forgettable.

So today, I’m sitting here two days past your birthday, telling myself to just fuck it and just write what I feel. Why try so hard to make it sweet and only have it look cheesy when I’m only writing it to impress?

What I really feel:


I feel very blessed that I have found someone like you. I feel very blessed that we chanced upon the fate to meet that Sunday. I feel blessed that your mom gave birth to you. I feel blessed that I’m with someone who has never failed to make me the happiest person on earth for the last few years.

What I really feel:


I feel excited that you’ve grown a year older, because that means that’s only another 1.5 years to your graduation and to you finally working. I feel excited at the prospect of you working and me working and us trying out life as a working couple. I feel excited cause that also means it’s only 6 years before we can get married and live happily ever after!!!1 I can’t wait for us to start our lives together 🙂

What I really feel:


I feel accomplished that I played a part in changing you for the better. From the angry goth that you once were, you’ve grown to be one of the finest young men I know. You never once let your ego ruin your relationship, unlike most men I know. You always know what’s important to you and you will always try to not let anyone take that away, even if it means humbling down and admit that you’re wrong even if we both know I’m at fault.

To my best friend who has never tried to judge me in whatever circumstances, to the person who listens to me bitch and bitches along with me although he doesn’t even know what really happened, to the person who takes me in his arms and lets me cry on his shoulder and wipes my snots away when I get emo after a sad movie, to my soulmate who finishes my sentences and knows the exact answer to the super hard question of “do you know what I really feel like eating now” because I feel like eating different things everyday, to-

wait, I can never finish writing that list.

But I will try.

To the best boyfriend in the world whom I can never get bored talking on the phone with, to the only person I can see at work everyday for 3 months and still miss when I have to go back and sleep and only see you tomorrow, to the person I am willing to try as hard as I can to maintain a long distance relationship for years, to the only guy who can make me laugh when I’m mad by doing a chicken dance, to the person I will readily sacrifice my life for, to the person I can count on no matter what,

to the guy who spent days writing love notes on tiny papers and folded them and inserted them into 56 hershey kisses just so I have something to look forward to everyday before we finally meet again,

(I’ll continue the list next month on our anniversary, and I’ll include some of the notes he wrote :))


phew finally after all that long crap! I’ll give you your present when you get here in 11 daysssssssss! Let me give you a clue on what that present is: H_i_a_e_e  C_i_k_n  R_c_ (actually barry already knew this, so see if the rest of you can guess!)

p.s: I think my readers are getting pretty sick of lovey dovey emo sweet mushy posts so I’m gonna take a break from that for a while…(which will fail wtf cause I’m an emo lovey dovey person like that)

oh oh! I found some of the comments that Barry has left in my blog, trying to defend me from stupid flamers. They’re really funny!

This is from the dear diary post, where I was depressed and all.

jimmy Says:

u NEED a new boyfriend.

Baz Says:

jimmy: you need a new name, jimmy is a shitty name for a vagina.


This is from the i have a date with spring post, where I talked about having a virtual date with him on skype
pear says:

barry the sissy boy!

Baz says:

pear: Sissy? I’m assuming that you’re a dude or a dyke, and I could fucking take you, and you know it. I’m not ashamed of being nice to my girlfriend. Maybe you don’t understand this whole love business because the only relationship you have is with your Level 12 Elf in World of Warcraft.

HAHAH level 12 elf wtf

From my makeup post, pear strikes again wtf

pear says:


(err wtf?)

Baz says:


hahahahhah breast on forehead damn wtf hahahaha

There are a lot more but I’m running late for work now! bye!