And now, a word from our sponsors

Brought to you by Barry:

I’ve been here for four days already, and in this time I’ve learned what it’s like to be Liew Suet Li. Truth be told, it doesn’t take very much at all to be Liew Suet Li.

We wake up at noon and go about our routine of scrubbing our faces and teeth and turn the once-blue toilet water green. We layer up on clothing as to prevent the numbing cold from turning our nipples into ripe apricots before we step out for lunch.

This is my Harrison Ford moment; more the Fugitive than the movie star (speaking of which, he hasn’t made anything recently that isn’t naff, has he?). We slink to the nearest dining hall unnoticed with much skill and guile, Suet’s ingeniously crafty way of having to avoid paying for my meals.

I sometimes wonder if she’s ashamed of me.

Prior to taking a shower, I have to go on an obligatory scouting trek to the bathroom, fully-clothed, to make sure that other unsuspecting ladies are not currently occupying the communal bathroom, and who, at the sight of a half-naked dashing young stud such as myself, would mentally implode from the sheer shock of an unexpected orgasm.

Having made sure that the coast was clear, I’d have to head back to fetch my sundry basket of toiletries, change into a shower towel that covers my dangly bits, and run back to the safety of the bathroom before I cause any more orgasmic carnage at this hallowed all-female institution.

Apart from eating and showering, we don’t venture outside her dorm. She studies for her upcoming tests, or tries to at least, while I waste time playing Word Challenge on Facebook. Most times I succeed in distracting her, and we end up playing Word Challenge marathons. So much so that we punctuate our daily conversations with sentences like, “Wow, that’s incredible! edible. red. bid. led. dib. din. credible. ire. bide. lire. bile. rid. blind. cred. bleed. nice. rice. crib. line.” and so on and so forth. You’ll get it if you play the game.

Be forewarned, it’s a timesucker of the highest degree, bound to turn your unexciting life even duller. You’ll curse at your own shaky fingers that hammer typo after typo, and wistfully wish you could be as cool as the other kids who are only just returning from parties at 3am on a Saturday night, while you’ve been on Word Challenge since 9.30pm, and what’s worse is that everyone who’s your friend on Facebook can see what a nerd/loser you are. Shockingly embarassing.

Yeah, that’s the story of our lives since I’ve arrived. I wonder why you people read her blog, she’s the most boring person I know, apart from myself. Go on, move to some other more exciting blog where clubbing and boobage are daily occurences. cure. rose. sore. run. seen. scene. sour (dammit word challenge)

You’ll love me for it.

660 comments

  1. Dwee says:

    “..to prevent the numbing cold from turning our nipples into ripe apricots..”

    “..to make sure that other unsuspecting ladies are not currently occupying the communal bathroom, and who, at the sight of a half-naked dashing young stud such as myself, would mentally implode from the sheer shock of an unexpected orgasm.”

    “..change into a shower towel that covers my dangly bits, and run back to the safety of the bathroom before I cause any more orgasmic carnage at this hallowed all-female institution.”

    There are more but I found these few sentences/phrases the funniest!! Barry, you are too damn good to stop blogging. And did I mention funny. LOLX!!! Too descriptive too. Your english is like perfect. No wonder when I read the conversations between the both of you that Suet posted here were in such perfect English sentences. It thought you guys were just being formal or something.

    Dang it! Teach me some english too! ^^

  2. miss.cc says:

    hahahaha so funny! u hv a knack for blogging, barry!

    “…at the sight of a half-naked dashing young stud such as myself, would mentally implode from the sheer shock of an unexpected orgasm.”

    sounds like the victorian age; except that at the sight of a certain half-naked dashing young stud, all the women get doses of orgasm. or faint from the shock. =P

  3. Jaclyn says:

    because i’m also a boring one so and then i read wtf I thought same species get along well so barry is gnirob too wtf boring loves gnirob gnirob loves boring wtf wtf choi ~!

    p/s: pls..esucxe em erm i mean nod dnim em nyahahahaha

  4. sweatlee says:

    omg u guys dont know how long it took for me to persuade/beg/nag him to write this post. i kept telling him what to blog about and he kept going don’t want laaa i can’t write well alreadyyy cis why my bf’s confidence so low

  5. sweatlee says:

    stupid barry too lazy to reply. “why must reply comments, blog already not enough mehh” whine whine whine that’s all he knows how to do wtf, so here i am replying comments cause i’m nice like that.

    carol, hahah i see u’ve tried playing! fun leh


    jaysee,
    haha can one la not so strict here


    shana,
    thanks!


    gwen,
    i knowww it sucks so much but what to do, rather than not having him here =(


    cherrie,
    thanks! =D


    pinkpau,
    omg u’re our number one nemesis wtf how can u score so high?!?! siao


    dwee,
    haha his ego will shoot up damn high!! nolah he memang quite formal one haha


    hellopanda,
    hello i like hellopanda too!! aww u’re sweet i like u =P


    jammie,
    WTF he’s too tall la how wtf bend down and walk ah wtf


    jade,
    haha!


    misscc,
    ya that’s why i loved his blog!
    \


    nat,
    haha he usually writes like this anyway, if you’ve seen his blog! that’s why he’s funny, in his own way!


    carol,
    he lazy wanna reply haha no need to wait!


    suzie,
    haha aww he’ll be happy! it took me sooo long to get him to write this for me ok!


    jaclyn,
    wht is gnirob???? oooh boring WTF took me so long to figure out! nono that’s not how to game works! haha


    ting,
    haha yeah..for guys who only see my pics and not read what i write!


    abby,
    i know it’s sooo addictive!!


    jason,
    thanks! =D


    kris,
    hahha i’m gonna play summore!


    huiwen,
    haha go play word challenge! then no need to work edi wtf


    shan,
    thanks u’re sweet! =D


    fuzzy,
    damn hard to paksa la write one post also took all my energy edi it’ll take me forever to get him to blog regularly


    angie,
    hahahha nola!! eat in the living room WTF


    melissa,
    i cant i tried =((( it took me sooo long to get him to write ONE post. but i’ll try harder gambatte me!

  6. xiangyun says:

    I think Barry is afraid to get back to blogging because so many people are begging/wanting/urging/anticipating for him to blog and maybe he is half scared he might disappoint many? Just my thoughts =]

    btw, the both of you are so damn cute! =]]]]

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