Comments on: Say no to domestic violence

By: Lyn

Lyn — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 02:33:11 +0000

suet li, i feel so strong about this issue that i so agree with you to cut off their penises first before putting these monsters to prison.
I think if this was being practiced here in Msia, cases like this would diminish..
Crime is crime, once commited a crime, pay for what u monsters have done!!
DAM IT!
i can go on whining about this all day long…. haha.
Anything can be done to reduce crimes like this to protect these poor victims???
hmmmmm..

By: Jaclyn

Jaclyn — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 06:10:43 +0000

besides all these cruelties.. human trafficking.. forcing women and kids… SAD =(

By: Mei

Mei — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 15:04:03 +0000

what i mean is, urm well to do what u’re doing right now takes a lot of courage and have to be strong emotionally.

By: Shanshan

Shanshan — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 13:48:08 +0000

The job sounds tough but seems like the kind of hands-on work you would want to do! I hope you enjoy and learn more about how to help those women and children. Good efford and best of luck liu han de xue ren=D

By: sylvea

sylvea — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 02:13:06 +0000

Hey is your place still in need of more interns? I’m quite interested though

By: sweatlee

sweatlee — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 14:33:09 +0000

jy, yeah sigh

air, no it’s not ok either way, but there are more violence against women than men, hence the post

missfiona, yeah =(

aylien, i dont think so too. yeah i agree with you. erm sorry i can’t divulge all that much but i’m sure you can guess that yourself. i don’t talk to them as social worker-clients so i think they don’t feel as pressured? i don’t know..
great comment!

elaine, haha! thanks!

wei, yeah verbal abuse is abuse too. yeah i’m trying really hard to detach myself which i think i will soon..

clem, but these kids have sad pasts =(

jamie, i dont think they’ll care! sigh

xiangyun, yeah cause i’m serious like that wtf

erlinda, thanks =)

laura, yeah i really hope i can make them happy even for a short while! i’m thinking of a master in edu too..

tamago, yeah but i can understand why women don’t wanna walk away =(

mei, err what do you mean?

kevin, i hope i didn’t imply that EVERY man beats his wife! Just that there are more domestic violence cases than i had ever imagined, so it’s just kind of shocking to me right now.

nicole, thanks!

aillemaco, thanks =D

lalala, yeahh i went to some orphanages too and i feel like crying everytime =((((

lilbunny, what do you mean? self help for what? understand what better?

kitsie, yeah true!

cindy, i dont think it’ll go down so soon =(

jan, yeahh i just saw some newspaper clippings of infants getting raped. sighhh

shen, yeah i don’t condone hitting children but i think a little smacking is ok BUT not abusing them regularly until it inflicts grievous hurt

laura, yeah true. i’ve always grown up with being hit though.

giang, yeap maybe i will!

ky, haha of course!

ren, but maybe hitting your kid is not the only way?

beii, yeah i know =) thanks

am, wow what a story! great that you were strong enough to just walk out from that relationship. totally concur with your last line!

hoigi, i’m interning at women’s aid organization, we always need more help!

ting, haha thanks!

hmm, a slap differs greatly from being abused. most domestic violence cases involve being punched till it bruises, or being hit with objects such as wood or chairs. anyway, i don’t think slapping someone is an acceptable behavior. do women do that often?

By: hmm

hmm — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 14:08:49 +0000

it’s never a problem when a woman slaps a man just because she has PMS. Apparently these sort of behaviour is acceptable, yes – “wtf”.

not that I’m advocating the opposite.

By: Ting

Ting — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 07:20:00 +0000

cut their penises off? wakakaka..
your work is pretty stressful..but every job has its adventages and downsides..jiayou!

By: hoi gi

hoi gi — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 05:52:22 +0000

suet where is this place that you’re interning? it’s very kind of you to help out if possible, i wanna be a part time social worker someday too

By: AM

AM — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 04:34:27 +0000

Suet, I hardly comment on your blog, maybe once or twice before. But I gotta tell you this. All these shits happen to people around us. My best friend’s ex boyfriend used to hit her too, she could not wear sleeveless tops cuz she gotta hide those bruises on her arms. I was like, man, how could she ever stand this guy for so many years? I used to advice her but she told me she loved this guy alot, and worse, he even cheated on her. I just don’t understand how could she stay on this relationship. Well finally I understand why she did that. I found out that my ex-boyfriend visited prostitutes. I was so heart broken until I felt like dying. I was so silly to have such thinking that “Oh well we’ve been together for 4 years maybe he’s bored of me.”, and thought of forgiving him. DAMN STUPID RIGHT? Well, to cut the story short, both of us finally realize that we were sooooooooo silly to forgive them. I mean, yeah, we loved these bastards, but what’s the point when they took it for granted, kept hurting you and didn’t appreaciate you at all? So ladies, please wake up. A guy who truly loves you will not hit you, hurt you, or cheat on you.

By: beii

beii — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 04:12:12 +0000

Don’t let the current environment gets you for that are their story and you can only do your best to help.Every story is different, and not all men are abusive.There are still alot of beautiful people out there.:)

By: Ren

Ren — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 03:13:15 +0000

i was hit by parent before but it was ok
If it is for discipline kid, i find it alright.
And thanks to those pain i’ve learned how to respect them well
and know how to love family more…

look at those spoil kids nowadays?
their parent hardly discipline them…
they pay no respect to their own parent which anger me a lot… =”=

By: KY

KY — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 01:53:02 +0000

do you still want your own kids after interning there?

By: giang

giang — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 20:07:17 +0000

i worked at safe passage in northampton last summer! if you’re still going to be interested, you should look into volunteering there when you’re back at moho!!

By: laura

laura — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 17:07:12 +0000

the theory said dat hitting a child can effect their emotional and psychological development. once they grow up, they will learn it’s ok to hit others including their children and their children will think it’s ok to hit others, the evil cycle will go on and on… i myself disagree with hitting. there are better ways in teaching them a lesson rather than by physical abuse…^^

By: shen

shen — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 15:25:41 +0000

hmmm..i think its not ok to hit women but its ok to hit children.. as in smack them till they sore and get their bums red for a few days heh..not till they bleed tho =D

By: Jan

Jan — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 14:37:33 +0000

I worked at a NGO protect and save the children before..
Very sad to say from our research, the youngest child that got rape is 3mths old.. and the child cant even shout for help or say that she is abused..

Work hard and stay happy =D

By: cindy khor

cindy khor — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 14:03:20 +0000

your post got me into thinking, whether is this society that we are currently in is really sick… just when i thought abuse cases went down, but this seem to be a never ending disease, is it??

but i had swear to myself that if my guy is gonna lay a finger on me, i would not hesitate to give him back a thing or 2 before saying the break-up word (and i mean it).

By: Kitsie

Kitsie — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 13:28:42 +0000

I guess part of the reason why I find my circle of guy friends so good is cause the last thing they’d ever do is hit a girl? Cause to hit a girl is the lowest possiblke thing a guy can do. I’d murder whichever guy which lays a hand on me. That is, if he isn’t my brother or dad la. xD

Take a deep breathe and think of happy thoughts the next time those kids turn in to gremlins? Its quite understandable why they’d be so rowdy and fight easily though, since they’ve practically grown up watching fights, but they’re impossibly sweet sometimes.

By: lilbunny

lilbunny — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 13:09:29 +0000

hey, try readin sum self-help books. It’ll make u understand them more & makes u feel better. Blive me, i’ve been in ur place b4… cheers

By: lalala~

lalala~ — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 13:04:20 +0000

wah.. damn sad wei when u talk about the kids…
u reminded me of my visit to the orphanage some time back…
and there was this room so full with babies… just babies!!! like 5, 6 months… and when u go in only rite.. they’ll all reach out their both hands towards u… to carry them! damn damn sad… if u carry one the others will be crying…

few nights after that cant sleep at all. until now still can remember their faces…

that experience and ur post reminds me of how blessed i am… although not as blessed as some other rich and famous people but then… compared to them… T_T

By: aillemaco

aillemaco — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 11:45:54 +0000

inspiring and beautiful.

By: Nicole C

Nicole C — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 10:59:15 +0000

Thank you for this wonderful post. =’)

By: Kevin Yong

Kevin Yong — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 10:09:41 +0000

Just because you’re working as a social worker and you only see the ugly face of the society doesn’t mean that every man beats their wife and children. The world is still a beautiful place. There are still lots of nice men out there (Barry is also a nice man).

You should think positively, or else it might effect the upbringing of your future child.

By: Mei

Mei — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 08:57:48 +0000

it takes lots of courage to be where u are right now. thumbs up!

By: tamago

tamago — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 05:44:38 +0000

i used to have a bf that seriously threatened to hit me when he got superangry. so i challenged him and ask him to hit away but dont be suprised if the cops come looking after him HAH. then he apologised wtf i think if a guy ever tocuhes a woman in a violent way, its best for her to just walk away and never ever have any contact with him ever again. its just unforgivable.

By: laura

laura — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 04:53:57 +0000

i am an early childhood teacher and i can tell you how the parents effects their children’s life. they get defensive, they do not believe in adults, they wouldn’t let anyone to be near them. i am so glad that you are patient enough to face those children. they really need it and it is a good sign if the end of the day, they can hug you.i’ve been working on my master degree in education and i’ve heard lots and lots of cases happen to children… it’s so sad.

By: Erlinda

Erlinda — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 04:53:29 +0000

I totally understand this. my students (imma teacher) who are the troublemakers in class are usually the ones who are not happy at home or with the family. i’m glad that u bring hope in these students’ lives. keep it up.

By: xiangyun

xiangyun — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 04:47:28 +0000

Wow, this is such a serious sounding post. It’s hard to imagine why a man would hit a woman and his kids *sigh*

By: Jamie

Jamie — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 04:17:50 +0000

I cannot imagine what those type of weird men are thinking, but YES! guys who harass their wives/victims sexually SHOULD be circumcised *evil laughter* okay I don’t know >_<”. maybe they should watch a gazillion of those abuse films and let them realize how cruel they are.

By: clem

clem — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 04:17:49 +0000

aww the kids are so cute. but it’s no surprise why i don’t fancy kids as much because of the potential monsters in them wtf.

By: wei

wei — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 04:16:18 +0000

there are all forms of abuse everywhere and you can never really know what lies within each person, a man’s capability of hitting his wife and child, a womans’s ability to hide the shame of being abused and still go around society seemingly to portray a happy marriage. Once an old grandma who was a family friend of my dad’s told me that her son in law was verbally abusing his wife, always calling her stupid and had no respect for her..the poor granny was teary recounting the tale to me and i was shocked cos this couple was rich, seemed ‘happy’ with grown kids. Apparently the son took after the father’s disdain and was rude to the mom as well. How horrid!
Women should not be victimised anymore, and know that help is always available. it’s just sad to see how a marriage disintegrates and all your beliefs going down the drain with it.

Try and detach yourself from the cases, if not you are going to feel really gloomy for a really long time. We cant save the world, we can just make a tiny difference!

ok back to the books for me. Gd luck suet!

By: elaine

elaine — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 04:12:15 +0000

YES! Agreed! Man NEVER EVER EVER had even a single reason to beat wife/kids.

I always reminded my bf, DONT YOU EVER TRY TO BEAT ME, else I will do the same..hahahaha ~ Nola..but seriously, women should know how to protect themself nowadays, and MAN should be educate as well.

Anyway, you’ve done a great jon on the kids. And carry on the good work! I’m proud of you, babe!

By: aylien

aylien — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 03:56:05 +0000

I don’t think men are innately violent and abusive, but it’s just that certain societies and communities are set up so that men in those societies who want to be violent and abusive in a domestic context are able to do so without severe, if any, consequences.
It’s still a man’s world, for the most part, and especially so in low-income communities where women are rarely empowered and don’t have access to a working justice system.
Though I completely respect your social worker-client privilege, so don’t divulge if you don’t want to, but I’m curious if most of your domestic violence clients of South-Asian origin, specifically South-Indian? Do you think you’re being a Chinese, foreign-educated female affects how your clients relate to you?

And yeah, I mean, “men” as a whole aren’t any more or less nice than “women” as whole, I don’t think. People have the same capacities for good and evil, but when you give someone power (ie, being male) in an environment where there’s no check on their power (ie, patriarchal society with a weak justice system), it’s natural that those in power are going to abuse that power.

Again though, awesome that you’re fighting the good fight, and helping those kids smile each day.

By: missfiona

missfiona — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 03:50:22 +0000

omg poor kiddos. what to do, a tiny part or should i say maybe many parts of our lives are out of our own control. but then again, if you have the will, you can change whatever your current state is. anyhow, these kids have my sympathy.

By: air

air — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 03:36:14 +0000

but is it ok for a woman to hit a man wtf?

By: jy

jy — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 02:52:06 +0000

totally agree. a man who abuses his partner/kids is just SUPER CHEAP AND LOW. Everything cruel in this world is just result from human’s action..when will they (or we..) ever wake up? *sigh*