Losing my religion

I’ve been living the most monotonous life you can ever imagine. Such is the agony and ordeal of the working class. My life has been reduced to an endless cycle of being stuck in traffic jams and waiting to go home 12 hours later.

Where has my motivation flown to? What have become of all that drive and passion of wanting to help educate and empower women?

To be completely honest, there is nothing I want more than loitering in malls and hanging out with ‘friends’ now. (‘friends’, because they are nonexistent now — working has greatly reduced my social life to negative seventy point two-five, since I sleep way before my friends do and wake up when they go to bed).

Such is the despair faced by the working class.

Why aren’t there 4 working days instead of 5? What can you do in those 2 pathetic days you aren’t working anyway? Just catching up on sleep will already take up 1.5 days, which only leaves 0.5 days to do random stuff like watching the girls go by and catching flies with chopsticks.

I have not yet started working full-timeĀ  and I have already begun to get sick in the stomach just thinking about it. The more I type this, the harder I’m shuddering at the realization that there is now officially only 729 days and 21 hours before I start working for realz. Great I just wasted 2 minutes of that 729 days and 21 hours to do this math. Now there are only 729 days, 20 hours and 58 minutes left to enjoy my days as a student.

Lalalala.

Yesterday when I was showering as a student, I took an interest in this particular baby lizard which was happily loitering around the bathroom. As a student, I obviously freaked out and screamed, hoping that the shrill sound I emitted would be strong enough a decibel to knock the baby lizard off its daze.

The baby lizard (which was also really, really, black in color which happens to be an important fact to note because black lizards have black hearts and it was then a correct decision for me as a student to want to kill this baby lizard which is assumed to have an evil evil heart) then scurried away on its 4? tiny feet.

As a student, I had no choice but to assume the responsibility to rid this peaceful world of the baneful existence of these creatures. So I pointed my shower head at that lizard with an evil heart for I had no other form of weapon with me as I was caught in this battle unprepared.

The baby lizard with the black heart then tried to escape but the student in me was quick enough to turn off the shower, wrap the towel around myself, open the door and run as fast as I could to get the Shieldtox and sprayed a copious amount of the pesticide which is composed of prallethrin d-phenothrin tetramethrin (this is important because I’m still a student after all).

Where was I?

Oh, so I sprayed the Shieldtox on that heinous little monster until it got weak in its knees. AND THEN!!!! It had the cheek to use its invisibility cloak when I turned my head to scratch my back!!!!

I tell you, lizards, especially black ones, are the most cunning creatures on earth. I know that because I’m a student.

I gave up and continued showering and out of nowhere, the villain appeared again! It was already very weak by then so the kind hearted student in me decided to spareĀ  its wicked life and so I just sprayed water on it until it went down the shower hole, back to where it truly belonged.

Being a student surely brings so much joy into my life. 729 days, 19 hours and 49 minutes left.