• yanagi

    I think i’m somewhat like you.. I actually.. enjoy being alone, you know like I dont even make effort to call people out? Even if people call me out.. I would give all sort of reasons to stay at home.. haha

    Anyway i think the issue is not about going out with close friends, but going out with normal friends (for me at least).. I seriously feel awkward going out with friends lesser than with my close friends, so I stopped and yeah, I cant be bothered! I’m still happy =D although part of me is really worried that I wouldnt have friends for my wedding dinner T_T

    Anyway! Just go out with ur close friends!! like u have been doing!! I think after a while (u need time to get over the bad year) you will get the feeling of the past back okay!!

    Be positive!! =D

  • http://nonsensicaljean.blogspot.com jean

    hey babe,

    i know how u feel. i once felt it that way when i had my boyfriend and i was totally antisocial. i was rejecting every single outing invitation i have because i was sort of obsessed with my boyfriend and i didnt want to leave one day without him.

    then i realised that friends will always be there for you but boyfriends will never will. what i mean is that unless the boyfriend is going to marry u, he will not be there for u whenever u need him.

    and that was when i started making efforts to ‘befriend’ my friends again. and it was the best feeling ever because later on i found out that my ex was cheating on me. :(

    anyhow, im sure u’ll be able to make friends eventhough u said u couldnt. i’m sure everybody are able to make friends! say I CAN instead of I CANNOT. okay?

    cheer up babe ;)

    fuh this is the longest every comment i ever wrote

  • http://www.chocolatesouffle.blogdrive.com Ee Von

    i’m sorry i really dunno how to comment on your experience. the only thing i can say now is i hope things will get better when you’re at hong kong. i used to feel really lonely too when i started my life at somewhere new. like uni cos i don’t make friends easily. probably cos everyone thinks i look really snobbish. eventually things will come into place when you least expect it to be. it may not be the same situation, but i believe things WILL get better when you take it easy.

    hope you’re alright.

  • Claud

    I know how you felt so comfortable having angie, aud and shanshan to do everything with you, so there was no need to make other friends. And when they left you found yourself alone and it was so difficult to find another group of friends because it would be strange and awkward and some times it just takes a lot of effort ): Been through that too, actually still going through it wtf haha. Don’t worry about not being happy 24/7, everyone is entitled to bad days! Grit your teeth and bear with it, it’ll be over once you complete your studies and go home (; Chin up & thanks for the password, I really like reading your blog!

  • Y

    This is my first time commenting.
    I’d just like to encourage you. I also had a similar experience at certain periods in life where I didn’t really have a real friend that I can have lunch with, fit in with. It was lonely. But all things come to pass, things won’t always stay the same. Keep telling yourself that. Everybody goes thru periods of loneliness, it’s an inevitable part of life. Keep opening yourself up to people and it’s a matter of time before you discover new friends.

  • shauna

    i’ve been feeling very lonely myself lately… i don’t have much friends to begin with too.. and now that they’re mostly working or studying… and my boyfriend lives in another country… it’s just been me myself and i.

    today i even watched a movie by myself bcoz i didn’t have anyone to watch it with.. haha.. sounds quite pathetic i know. and last time when i was working.. i even resorted to asking my dad to come to lunch with me bcoz i had no friends at all in the office.

    anyway.. i just wanted to tell u these to let u know u’re certainly not alone! you’re a strong person.. i’m sure you know it too. :) strong people can survive even in the loneliness! cheer up~

  • yieng

    really. i somewhat get it. cause i’m going through all these now. going out with friends seems to take so much effort i couldnt be bothered anymore. i used to be such an extrovert but after some arguments with my best friend, i stay in my own room most of the time and i think by not talking i could avoid arguments. now, i don’t feel like talking (heart to heart kind) to most people except my bf. damn. this is bad. bad. bad. how la? urgh

  • bs

    “I actually enjoyed being alone and would rather be alone than be with people”
    omg i totally get what you mean! sometimes being alone just seems… easier, you know?
    but hey, i believe that beneath the depressed suet (that’s underneath it all wtf) there still lies a cheerful, bubbly suet! As yanagi said, you’ll just need time to get over the bad year…
    yeah growing up sucks but… you’ll be okay :)

  • Nicole.C

    I think it’s totally normal for you to feel that way.

    I’m in the same position as you and i spent days and nights crying on my bed alone, because my clique of friends suddenly isolated me without giving me any reason. When i finally mustered enough courage to ask my supposedly best friend about what’s going on, she gave me the cold shoulders and said, “Don’t ask why or how. You have to learn to accept the fact that friends do drift apart.”

    That came from someone whom i’ve known for 3 years and whom i call as my best friend.

    I was crushed because like you, they were the only friends i have in my university. So from then onwards, i had no ppl to eat/study/talk with.

    I shut myself out but eventually i opened up and tried making new friends. It wasn’t easy for me because i’m a very shy, quiet and passive girl. However by God’s grace, i managed to secure a new clique of friends. But i’ve also learnt from my lesson that i shall not be too inclined towards just one circle of friends, so i started to mix around.

    And all is good for me at the mo. I think it’s good that you realize that you being too clingy onto Barry that it has taken a toll on ur r’ship, because you’d bounce back when u’ve hit rock bottom. I have faith in you. You can do it. You just need a little time. :)

  • me

    u know what? i can totally feel you. i experienced loneliness numerous times abroad having very few people. sometimes i wonder why my social skills so bad that everyone is so happy except me. and to top things up, things got ugly between me and my friends, very close ones that made me regret fully on what i did to not appreciate this friendship. so yah… part and parcel of life is to persevere get thru times like this. im sure it will make u a better person!

  • http://www.musicaholic-a.blogspot.com Amelia

    Hi Suet!

    I’m kinda agree with Nicole *points upward* that it’s normal for you to feel that way. I like to be alone at times too, but I always love to be around my friends and boyfriend (even tho he is in KL and I am in Jakarta T3T) as well. But yea, I guess sometimes all of us needs time to be alone cos it’s just…kinda easier lol as u don’t need to worry about anything ^^

    Don’t worry. I bet you will get out of this bad period sooner or later :) And I’m sure you can get lots of new friends in your college or elsewhere :)

  • http://www.ahbu74.blogspot.com Ping Ping

    SuetLi, I don’t know if saying this will make you feel better but I’m like you also. Most of my posts on my university life are sad ones. I still eat my lunch and dinner alone, I still walk to class alone. Although I have coursemates in class, I often go back and have my dinner alone. I missed my high school friends so much and it’s just different here in uni. I used to think I’m a social butterfly and I can get many friends but the thing is, I know a lot of people but none who’ll hang out with me all the time in uni.

    I’ve wrote many times that I’m used to being alone and sometimes that scares me. Cause I’m used to walking alone and I choose to avoid hanging out with friends just because I want to space out and just be alone. Enjoy my alone time. But that phase will pass. Sometimes you just don’t feel like talking to anyone. Worst still, I don’t have a boyfriend so there’s really no one to talk to.

    I’ve began to move out of that alone phase, slowly I hope. I began to mix with my coursemates a lot more and I hope I’ll began to enjoy uni like how I really should. =)) It’s ok if you are not as bubbly as you try to potray yourself in your blog. Everyone has their problems and it’s only natural that you have yours too.

  • http://www.ahbu74.blogspot.com Ping Ping

    and and and..I kept telling my friend that our social circle is not even a circle cause it consist only me and my friend. So it’s basically a social line. A short one at it T__T While people have a bunch of friends to go dinner with, I only have her and she only have me. But you have to open yourself up a little. Things will be ok. =)) Slowly la. I wouldn’t believe that I’m an anti-social, no one in my secondary school would believe it but sometimes, you just have to accept it. You’ll be fine. Mine is worst because I’m enjoying the feeling of being alone so much that it stopped bothering me that I’m eating the same food every day, alone, in my room.

  • Michelle

    hehe. first time coming in here and first ever commenting. but here goes..

    Perhaps one of the growing pains..everyone will at least experience this once in life proven by looking at numerous response.hehe.

    I was sent to Geelong the first time ever coming to Australia, and eventhough it was my first time, my parents didn’t want to follow me. Geelong all full of white people in which I did not dare to approach.

    I alone there Asian..and my bf at that time was stuck back home in Malaysia cause of visa problem. We were apart for 1 month , with both of us spending RM2K total AT LEAST on phone calls.

    Lucky, hell only lasted a month for me :) so torturous, to even think how u went through it for a full year! I almost gave up and want to go back home and its only 1 month.

    U’re really strong ,Suet Li :) I’m like “normal bubbly self” now, love making friends and all, after 3 months. It takes time, soon u’re going to be alright again.

  • val

    i kinda know how that feels too :( i just switched to curtin this year and i have only a few frens. we`re just hi/bye frens, we never have lunch together or go out together.. it was quite hard for me at first cause the past 2 years i was in college, i was close to all my classmates.. now it`s the total opposite.
    i was really lonely and i tried making friends but somehow we just didn`t click. in classes, i`m always alone. but i guess after all these months, i`m already used to it.
    although i do like my alone time but sometimes it gets to me. there are days where i`ll just lie in bed and cry..
    my frens from college are mostly workin full time now and some of them have left australia…everyone`s just so busy workin and when they`re not, they`ll spend time with their gf/bf…so yeah we`re slowly driftin apart and it kinda hurts :(

    recently i got into a fight with a really close fren..we made up and stuff but somehow there`s still a wall between us…things are not like how they were. you`d expect that after being friends for 14 years, this friendship would be so much stronger right? we don`t talk much anymore and it really hurts cause i thought we were so much stronger than this. for now, i just wish that things will be alright again.. i wish you`ll be alright soon too :)
    oh and thanks for sharing with us ^^

  • http://paperer.blogspot.com Zwei

    hey there…
    reading this post really reminds me of what i am worrying about myself too. i am spending my third year in this current uni and yet, i still feel lonely sometimes. i have friends but they aren’t exactly what i can call true friends. i still miss my friends from secondary school very much. there was a time where i depend on my bf a lot and i still do now, because like you’ve said, i can tell him anything and everything without the need to hide shameful or bad facts! but he knows this and he encourages me to spend more time with my uni friends because he will be graduating and he won’t be with me all the time anymore. so, i did try and i am still trying until now. i think it got a bit better but i think i still have a long way to go. all these made me wonder too, whether it is because of my personality or words that caused this kind of gap? O__O i really don’t know. but i want to be happy so i am gonna keep trying to close the gap up! so, suet, i hope you can keep trying too! :)

  • me

    it’s sad but this is life and it’s also something sooooooo many people face…
    people change, and therefore affects you.. it’s natural
    but life is a journey and it will pull us down if we don’t try to be optimistic.. (easy to say, hard to do… in the beginning… i been thru a long time of depression… all happy looking on my blog but actually i was in terrible 7 years depression… i finally got out of it… few months ago)
    do try and count your blessings, and look around.. u’ll feel better because there will always be others in a worst place

    if you don’t feel like socializing, then dont force yourself to..
    it would infact stress you and indirectly cause u to be more depress
    dont regret for not trying to make friends..
    maybe this alone time helps you to know yourself better, maybe it’s a phrase we must all go thru..

    at least your have a love one to share your life with =)
    there are many who have no one.. everyone has their down moments… life’s not perfect.. but hope you’d get up from the slum soon.. and things would be all better for you =)

  • stasya

    hi suet!
    just want to say that although this post was sad, it was very real and relates in many ways to what other people might be going through, including myself. thanks for being honest, and we all hope for the best!!

  • http://www.the-purpleholic.blogspot.com JuVin

    Hey Suet,
    it was a really moving post and based on the comments I’ve read above, most people including me can totally relate to it.. Trust me, you’re not alone in this. i am going through that now. i’ve somehow come to a phase when it just takes too much effort to spend time with friends, accept outing invitations, sometimes i just give up trying. i used to have 2 besties in college last semester. one of them changed course and will be flying to the States next year, the other is mostly with her boyfriend all the time. i had to literally force myself into another group of friends whom i cannot really click with, just to have someone to have lunch with. and i think i might resort to eating my lunch alone as well. :S

    i believe most people have gone through this at some point in their lives. in high school i was the social butterfly, never would i have thought that i would have trouble making and keeping friends now. sometimes life just feels so sad that you just curl up in bed and cry and cry and cry.

    life might seem cruel sometimes, be strong and go through it with a smile on your face :)

  • tine

    Hey, Suet

    Don’t worry about being in that phase. Everyone will eventually grow up and spend less and less time together. I myself have been in that phase before; don’t worry as you discover what makes up happy, things will turn on a brighter note! Stay Happy

  • http://xiao.wordpress.com xiao

    it’s a little sad to know that there are so many of the same situations all around the world :( but perhaps our comments might help?

    The last sem (and first) in college was like this too.. I kept making excuses for myself. “i don’t like them. they’re superficial. we can’t click anyway.” i ate lunches and dinner myself too – i just couldn’t bother making the effort to call my suitemates because in the end it will be another meal that I have to smile and not really fit in anyway because that was just how it is. I convinced myself that was what I wanted. but I knew after I came back for summer that it was just easier to hide than to try and make friends and fail all the time.

    I always tell people when they ask about US that I like the place but not the people. And though I haven’t exactly found mine, I hope you find the diamonds in the rough :) stumble across someone you can really click with one day!

    Once again, if you ever drop by Boston mail me! I’d love to see someone from Malaysia (i think there are only 2 in my entire college!!)

  • zillY

    Heyhey Suet =) *huggies* Try tink positive no matter what happen. u got barry and u stil got us(readers) too. just write out what u feel and it’ll makes u feel better. thats wats blog about rite? its not wrong and we stil LOVE the true you^^ thats why we are so wanted to read ur protected post.*grin* u are not the only one facing this, im sure. yeah, thats all bout growing up..steping into reality..responsibility. Everyone got their own life as we grow up. And u hv ur own life with barry toO! and with ur family ^^ chill yea… We’ll always support you

  • http://butabanasaurus.blogspot.com yumii

    i really understand what you are saying. I have the same problem too. However, I often blamed my friends for abandoning me, not calling me to go out with them to yam cha, or go out shopping with me, but the truth is, I was the one who avoided them in the first place. t

    I do not know why, but these people whom I knew since i was 9 or 10, have nothing in common with me AT ALL.

    When we sit together, I would just sit there and listen to them talk about guys and recent pop scene and such, I never really pay much attention. My mind is always some where else when I was with them.

    I think it’s one reason that contributed to my lack of friends problem. The problem came from me. It’s horrible to realise that. I feel like shit. I feel so worthless.

    Sometimes,I just kind of give up on becoming friends with them, and hope that I can find better friends in the future. But with my attitude, I don’t think it will happen if I don’t change. So, I am now trying to work out my own problems before I start blaming others. =D

    Hey, girl. Cheer up okay? We will still love you and support you no matter what. Don’t feel that it’s too late to meet new friends. We are always not too late for anything. Finding solace in Barry is the best thing you could do.

    And yes, I hate growing up too. It’s horrrrriiiibbblleeee… T_T

    Be bubbly! (*^_^*)

  • lilxcute

    yay. I’m here!

    I’m in that phase or maybe I was. I’m a moody person. One minute I’m happy the next I could be crying my eyes to blindness. Lol. Happens when you’re all alone. Noone to ask out, noone to invite to travel with and making new friends doesn’t seem right. You just can’t get as close as friends that you actually had. Everything would be, I wish my bf was here! You’ll eventually get used to being by yourself and hence got no more mood to go out with people because you’re so used to yourself.

    It’s not a long term thing though. Eventually you would get used to your old bunch of friends again and be yourself again. Take each step slowly. I still very much love to go out with my close friends so find comfort in friends that you’ev always been close to. Don’t abandon them.

    Sorry not very good at writing with the flow. My paragraphs might be messy.

  • http://otosaretatenshi.blogspot.com Jan

    hugz, cheer up suet :)
    It’s not abnormal to enjoy being alone, i used to be very sick when i was young and i had no friends when i was in primary because i was too sick and everyone was worried that i might spread some virus to them, and i just slowly learnt to leave alone, i think that it is okay to able to enjoy being alone, as at points of our life, we might end up alone for a short while, and it is okay to be a bit demanding to your boyfriend too, after all he is your boyfriend right, i am pretty sure that both of you will be married one day, so he should be helping you through the ups and downs of your life. Well, the most important thing is, always to accept yourself as who you are and accept the things that happened decisions that you made in life in order to be happy. if you never accept yourself, it will be pretty upsetting.
    suet, cheer up you will be able to get through this, everytime we feel upset and annoying with self, and we get through it we grow up a little.. :)
    just like myself, actually i hope to mix around with people, but i don’t know what to say when i am with around people.. so it gets pretty annoying, and i feel shy hahaha.. but it is a part of me, that i will try to accept and improve :)
    Seems a bit annoying long comment. Wish you all the best and to get through it… I am pretty sure you can get it!
    Kanbatte kudasai :p

  • Mei Yue

    I think we all go through such a phase in our lives. Look at all these comments. I totally agree with Jan “every time we get through it we grow up a little”. I think this is a turning point in your life. What do you really want? Who are you really besides the bubbly personality? I think it’s like a snake when he shed his skin. You go through new experiences and that will shape your new personality. Leave the old skin behind. Maybe you won’t be as bubbly as you are used to be. So what? We all want what’s in the past because we are scared of the future.

    I dont agree with some of the comments above. I dont believe this phase will just go away and then you will be your old self again. The past is the past, in the future there will be a new Suet. A better Suet. A stronger Suet. If you hit rock bottom you have to get out of it yourself. You cant rely on your bf or Friends. You have to have a life of your own. It’s you, you make the decision and you have to make the effort. If you dont do anything, this feeling wont stop. It will only get worse.

    Why dont start telling your best friends what’s going on? Dont hide it, acknowledge it. Only you have the strength and the believe to be the person you want to be.

  • jessica

    It took alot of guts to admit to being depressed.I bet it kinda feels like a weight has been lifted a little bit…

  • http://www.chumi24lakshmi.blogspot.com chumi

    i think that’s wat we all are at the end of the day, underneath it all, we’re someone who’s not wat everyone else sees. n it definitely not a nice feeling to put it mildly!

    i’ve always been on good terms with everyone. in class i’m always talking to someone, in church i’m always smilling, everywhere i go to, i’m d counselor who’d understand everyone and everything be able to handle anything under d sun…

    but when i really think about it, i’m a lone ranger. i dont have friends when i need them. i always have to go out alone, or eat alone…. sigh

    u’r not alone.. u’ve got many ppl sailing on the same boat…absolutely no one is perfect, so its not abnormal that u feel like that. it’s all part and parcel of life. but u have to get out of it sooner rather than later, otherwise it’ll get even worse.

  • may

    I guess I am going into the phase u went through; just that I am at the beginning. Studying abroad is not easy for you I’m sure. Same goes for me. It feels bad when you get ditched by friends. I don’t know about you but I comfort myself by telling myself that I am here to study and nothing but study. I somehwhat grew to hate this place; telling my friends and family back home that there’s nothing much to see here don’t come. and it’s only my first month here.

    But your post has a point, somewhat. At least many many people are able to relate it to you.

    And, since you’ve realised about this situation. I am sure almighty suet has her way of solving this issue. ;)

  • Nurisya

    i think what you’re going through right now is absolutely normal and i bet a lot of people are going through the same thing as well. the same thing happened to me during my second year back to melbourne. cause my housemates and friends went to another campus and some returned to malaysia. i remember crying buckets at the airport cause i knew i had to spend the year by myself. but i was lucky enough to make one friend :) but at the end of the year, i graduated alone. thank god my parents were there but other than that, while everyone was taking their “throw hat in the air” pictures. i sat alone with my parents. *self pity

    i wanna say that it’ll get better and i do hope it does for you. and in time, the past year will just become another chapter of your life. you’ll move on and you know how the saying goes, ‘what won’t kill you will only make you stronger’. you’ll still have those occasional days where you cry yourself to sleep for no apparent reason though. but it just makes you appreciate and cherish the good days more, you know?

  • http://mystage4u.blogspot.com estherlei

    Dont worry Suet,
    I had gone thru that phase as well, where I am so attached to my closest friend that i had no body to have lunch with during classes interval. Sometimes I just felt very hard to initiate something with people you dont feel you like, so i choosed to be alone, like you too. Sometimes I just pretend to be very Cool to eat alone at cafe. This is the growing up thing I guess. Well, this at least make me feel closer and cherish my family and closest friends more. And well, I sort of got another gang of friends that really I love to hang out with, some point after the lonely phase. So I think you will too. Take care ya suet :)

  • Lainey

    Hey you.
    I read most of the comments above and I don’t think I can say much else. Your readers are all so encouraging. :) But it is nice reading your post and little accounts from your readers because it just lets me know that me, you, them are all going/went through similar times. :) (we’re not alone! :D)

    I have to say though, reading this made me feel like you were talking about my life story. :) Sigh, more than I’d like to admit.

    Let’s hope and try to get through this. *wet eyes*

  • HJ

    It’s ok to enjoy some “me” time. Just do things that make you feel happy and comfortable. Cheer up suet! ^^

  • rach

    cheer up! u be fine! i believe from all the above comment it show that 20ish girl/boy goin thru this including myself! conclusion is WE/YOU’re not alone!

    shud be more happy n cheerful when u knowing there more people care about you. look at those comment…i don’t even get more than 5 comment when i say im sad in my blog..=D =)
    have a great ride of this roller coaster life! <3

  • kindaichi

    like many others who have commented, me too can totally relate to how you feel.

    i guess the main reason i dont like to go out with friends the fear of awkwardness when there’s nothing to talk about. even though we have common interests but there’s only so much to talk about on the same topic. i dont like those silent moments…i sometimes ffk dates with my friends at last minutes when i really dreaded going out. it’s really unfair to my friends,i know. so i guess i have made some improvements now that even though i’d rather stay alone, i will make an effort to go out with some friends (not hi/bye type). and sometimes you’d be surprised that these outings really made you feel better and less lonely and the fear of silent moments was totally uncalled for.

    staying alone in the room actually makes thing worse. i dont know about you but when i stay alone in my room for days, the motivation to get things done just get thinner. i would just sleep away the loneliness, depression and problems that need solving. it would repeat itself the next day and the next day.

    but i have realised that it’s all inside your mind. it’s really important to have a positive mindset. when you feel like clinging to your bed to cry/sleep, tell yourself this is not to be. if you dun feel like studying at that moment, do some laundry or etc. for me it helps. just dont stay in a dark room and getting all sorts of negative thoughts creeping in. by the end of the day, when you think back of all the things you have done instead of shutting yourself, you’ll feel that your day is more productive and you’ll feel happier :)

  • tamago

    i know exactly what you mean. being in a new place in a new school all of a sudden without anyone with me, i feel that way too most of the time. its like nothing much mattered anymore except our own little world that we build around ourselves. anything else outside is just alien, no matter how much we tried. dah lah our good best friends are all so far away T___T but be strong suetli. if i can, you lagilah can.

    its no use wanting to be who you used to be. its better to just step out of that person you were and become the peron that you are. a much stronger person. =)

    “take a look in the mirror and remind yourself to be happy because you deserve to be. believe that” ♥

  • olivia

    suetli you rock (: for being able to put all this into words. because i feel the same way and i can never write all these down in my blog for the fear that my friends will judge me.

    i’m still lonely like that, and i don’t have a boyfriend so i took it out on my best friend instead ): but don’t worry! you’ll get through it. i don’t know how- i’m still finding out but if i do, i’ll tell you xD. but you knowing and admitting that you’ve become more anti-social etc and trying to change it makes you a better person already. i hope the best for you and that you’ll be able to have less-lonely semesters in US. (:

  • http://erlindamikal212.blogspot.com Erlinda

    i experience that when i started working. my friends and i, we are all graduated and worked at different places..so, right now i start making friends with whosoever wants to be friends with me.. it was not the same, because i had to start from scratch…but i tried making friends, though they won’t be like the friends i used to have, at least i have friends… life is so lonely without friends, dah la i’m the only child… haihhhh….
    i still feel lonely but when i do feel like that i start doing all sorts of things which i call them ‘hobbies’ now, and try to hang out with ‘friends’ i just made as much as possible…sometimes i force myself la, or i’m the one who sibuk2 organize outings la apa la.. hhehehe..
    you’re a great girl/woman (not sure which one, hehehe, you’re both), i’m sure u’ll get over it soon.. cheers! Love your blog… :)

  • norick

    Stay strong and optimist suet… everyone will somehow go through a so called “depress” phase in life…I have been through that too in my Uni life…and now I’m just another me in another phase of my life… ppl say don’t look at the past but look beyond… do what u feel u r most comfortable and happy doing…
    Believe me..u will get through this soon ( depending how u want yourself to be), and when u think about it later, u will sigh on how silly of u r to get upset/sadden by this small thing.
    Some simple words to u:
    Being alone does not mean u r antisocial. U r alone because u don’t want hang out with someone u don’t wish too…
    As age growth, our friends will somehow are group into few categories.
    Friend to hang out, Friend to eat with, Friend to share secret and life, Friend for study, Friend in workplace and many many others.

    However, if we are still in schooldays, of course all the category of friends above are actually referring to the same person…so.. for now.. at least get some friends for study ok..=) it will be good for having some friends to help up or discussion in study rather than u choose to skip class…don’t waste your parent effort n money ok..=) For the other type of friend..now if tak ade also never mindla… unless u scare ppl may say u r a geek..n so..u pretend to be a social bird..although u dun like it… so be urself.. do what is comfortable ok..=)

  • Caroline

    “I don’t feel like talking to my friends anymore because I find it easier to just talk to my boyfriend. I don’t feel like hanging out with anyone else but him because there’s less awkwardness and I’m always at ease with him.”
    I used to felt that way too. .There are times when I left my handphone at home while I was out with my boyfriend, and he replied me: Never mind la, no one else will call you except me…=_=”
    Things are worst while i was working alone in KL, but as now I’m back to my hometown with my boyfriend and my old friends around, I think it will slowly become better and better. So I guess all will be fine for you also. Try your best to stay focus on your academic and I hope it will draws your sadness and loneliness away.
    I believe that with love and encouragement from Barry, things will be like it used to be again. And when you look back, you’ll be glad that you finally grown up.
    *Remember, you’re not alone. There are lots of us who love you is here to support you.^_^

  • http://donnalim.blogspot.com donna

    u are not alone~
    at least all your readers love u.

    but i sort of understand how u felt~ i am having problem dealing with strangers too and because of that I am very anti-social now.

    I am now working alone in JB after 1 of my friend in the same company as i am now resigned and all of my friends are in KL.

    I am eating alone in the canteen, going back from work alone. I don’t know, but colleagues are just NOT considered as friend to me!

    At first, I cried under my blanket for a few nights, because i just never get used to the whole “alone” concept! I’ve never eat alone in my entire life! I felt like i am the pitest bug in the world.

    I get used to it later and I am cool with that now!but when i am with my old friends/buddies again, i felt like i am the old me again, happy, out-going and cheerful!
    i dont know what the hell i wanna say.. >.<

    i am sure u will find back the “old you” very soon!
    be strong.. ^_^
    All your readers will always support u.. XD

  • pipi

    Hey, I had went through this stage too, well that was a few years ago, where I changed class and my best friends were all in another class, it was horrible, I tried to fit into the rest, but well, all of them had their own clique, which makes it so hard for me to join in, which later I gave up and went to be alone. That was the hardest time ever for me, well, in terms of social life. Things only went better when I graduated from school, made new friends and finally found back my old self. Well, not to say that things will only change for the better when you leave school, but I am very sure no matter what, your old self will be found one day. Everyone will be behind you, jia you! :)

  • bjk

    you’re a brave and good writer. by writing this i know u’ve overcome half of your problems coz you dare to face it. good luck, suet!

  • elle

    honestly i did notice from your previous posts that you haven’t been hanging out with many people during the school terms >__< basically i graduated from high school last year so that meant a complete new place for me this year. it was totally new and i really didn’t expect to go there which meant no preparation whatsoever. so i ended up really panic-y about the whole thing when the semester began (it was pathetic really). now that i think back i seriously wish i could start over. at least 50% of the people probably thought i was weird or something (and maybe still do) T__T i got kinda introvert-like (sometimes still am). i love making new friends and socializing really but i got so worried about messing up and everything that i overthought stuff… and it was like i just couldn’t fit in with anyone (damn frustrating ‘kay. like couldn’t think up any topics to talk about liddat). and it didn’t help that my former close friends had stopped talking to me. so uh yea, anyway i don’t know if you can even understand what the hell i’m rambling on about here but i think.. just try to be more cheery about things, not worry about what others think and don’t expect too much from anyone else :) blah. wish you the best anyway. hope things get better ;] <3

  • mt

    Oddly enough, I think I’m going through the same thing. Due to the nature of my course, I change classes very often. That’s the worst way to keep a friendship.

    It’s hard to break into well established clique.But I did try. I’m even afraid I have no one to be happy with when I graduate.

    I miss my old and close friends who are now in every part of the world. But I guess nothing much can be done. I’ll just do my best. :)

  • elle

    oh yea. i was wondering.. how do you do these password protected things? is there a code or something ? :/

  • http://www.galileitian.blogspot.com yt

    hey, i guess you are the one who knows what to do, so be really brave okay? and we will be standing by you, supporting you. Dont worry too much! things will fall into place eventually when you stop worrying. smile more (sounds absurb) but it will work. you have to relax yourself more. tomorrow will be a better day :) stay strong and optimistic. doesnt mean that staying strong means you cant cry. cry it all out, and then be strong. cheers! good luck + jiayou! :)

    remember to smile :)

  • ling

    you are not the only one.

    my situation sounds a lot like yours.:(

  • jh

    when i read ur post, it hits me real hard because that was exactly what i have been going through these past few years. the worse part is that i don’t atleast have a loving bf like you do. b4 this i thought i’m atleast a friendly person, if not a likeable person. but making friends seem so difficult once i went to college, i put in so much effort in the 1st few months, but the results i got are so saddening that i stopped and let it be.
    i felt so miserable everyday, and i dare say that the most conversation that i have is with my own head. whenever i finally go out with a few close friends, i wld babble non-stop to make up for all the lack of conversation. i wld crack all sorts of jokes and make everyone laughs because i’m afraid they wld stop liking me and i wld lose them too. i became so lonely and the 1st thing i do everyday once i wake up is to sigh.
    sometimes i’m so afraid of this self i’m becoming. it’s as if it’s eating me from inside and i’m holding on to every bit of sanity i’m left with. the worst thing is not being able to discuss it with anyone at all, as i tried and my frens thought i was being my usual pessimist self FML. often i cried at night and thought of what’s the point of living, when i have to be so depressed every single day, so freaking unhappy.
    okay i think i revealed enough already. i just felt like i have to write it or else i dunno i’ll keep it til when.
    but i know u r not like me =) u can overcome it and i’m sure i can too.. in time =) good luck!

  • leeern

    hi babe i’m finally on the mailing list. yays! haha wtf.

    studying overseas has never been easy. T.T now that I’m staying elsewhere apart from my dorm I find it quite annoying that I have to find someone to have meal with. Back in dorm, I don’t really eat. Or eat anything light which doesn’t require companion.

    i tried very hard not to feel lonely. getting oneself extremely busy is one of the best way. but i still cry alot T.T eating tomyam maggie, watching children playing with their family etc even the smallest trivial thing is able to trigger the tear duct.

    i know that i’m a loner because I’m a Scorpio huhu. Dunno why having a dinner with my ex-roommate can be that awkward. i’m getting very used to eating by myself >_<

    ouch. sometimes life sucks =/
    but i guess its okay as long as we love ourselves <3

  • cheryl

    Hey there! I’m sort of going through this whole “alone” phase too. Going through all the other comments I’m abit surprised that many are able to relate to this whole situation too.

    I never thought that I would ever be the girl who would be caught dead alone. I was always too self conscious as I used to generalised being alone as “sad”. But when I started Uni I began to enjoy my own company and no longer saw the need to always have someone by my side to make me feel “secure”. My close friends were all doing different courses and they all somehow were able to make that transition from high school to Uni, and I used to feel so sad for myself that I couldn’t. It got to a point where I didn’t even bother to try and make new friends anymore as I felt that everyone already belonged to a certain clique and I just couldn’t really fit in with them. It was really hard at first, but slowly it got better. I have managed to make some friends now and I think I’m getting used to being alone occasionally. Most importantly I finally am able to realise that doing things alone doesn’t necessarily have to mean that I am lonely nor sad. I hope in time you’ll feel better :)

  • judy

    hey babe.
    i totally understand.when i couldnt get into my course selection,i was totally separated from my frens cz they got selected n i didnt.n i was the only one among them were not selected.for once i felt so left out in everything.i had to go to classes alone.there was even once when i went to class ppl ignored me and didnt pass the notes handouts to me.like i was invisible.i do take lunch and dinner alone.n i bcame reli clingy to the bf too which later bcame worse as we kept arguing bout how sad n depressed i was..bcz i tot that noone could understand the pain that im going thru.n i was sooooo mad at evryone bcz they all look so happy.i was reli reli alone and have nvr felt to lonely and empty.
    its reli hard coping with all these but i think i learnt how to look on the bright side.n try to make new frens.cz heyy its not the end of the world yet!i told myself i have to keep my chin up n always remain positive.things change but they don’t always have to b bad.hugs babe.i know you’re stronger than all of this.hope you reli feel better in time. :)

  • eric

    You have gone through the most dreadful part of your life so far. Yes, depression is not a thing that any of us would want to go through. I was not given an option when it hit me last time. But I have gained something that not everyone was given the opportunity to have. That is the mental strength. You will soon come to realise that there is benefit from depression. I am not sure with other cases, but for my case I did. Mental strength is much much more powerful than physical strength. I hope you can get something positive out of that phase.

  • Mei

    seeing that u have so many long comments to read, i’ll try to write a short one teehee!

    i’m also facing the same probs as u. i came to perth last yr for tertiary edu. i was a social butterfly back in kl but when i came to perth i couldnt find anyone i can click with. i was alone most of the time and grew to like the idea of it.

    then came my bday in aug 2008 and i realised i dont have anyone to celebrate it with. so i fell into depression. would skip classes, no studying at all, assignments were done the night before it was due, crying for no apparent reasons. and, nobody knew this at all.

    things hasn’t changed much now. pretty alone and in my room all the time. shopping, eat alone. i guess everyone faces problems like this when they are abroad.

    buckle up suet! we, readers always have faith in u!

    lovess =)

  • lydia

    Hey Suet!

    When I went to highschool in US I ate lunch inside the girl’s toilet… And now I’m back in HK without my family and I feel so alone too… although I do have a few friends and relatives here, but I don’t seem to want to go out with them. But if you ever get lost in HKU or you want someone to go shopping with you or just talk to you can always email me :) (Ofcourse that’s if YOU want to, I don’t bite or anything, and I’d love to meet you hehehe!)

  • jay see

    i truly understand the whole thing you’re going through because that’s what i’m going through as well. the only difference is i don’t have a boyfriend. i don’t have many friends as i believe i don’t need many friends as long as i have a good one is already more than enough. i did have a very good friend but our friendship screwed up and we both lead our lives separately now. i was depressed for months and i find it really hard to make new friends because i find others are very complicated and hard for me to slip in. i do most things alone now and i’m used to it already. sometimes i really sympathize myself.

    everyone has their lives and we can’t expect them to spend time with us twenty four seven. i hope you’ll be feeling better and don’t put too much pressure on the growing up thing. things aren’t that bad if we see them from different angles. don’t think so much and enjoy the moment :)

  • http://marge-world.blogspot.com Margaret Lee

    Hi Suet Li, Been through there. Everyone has ups and downs. When you’re down, then try to do something to make sure you’ll not getting too deep. I’m sure you can do it. You can be old self soon. Good luck!!!!

  • http://sweatlee.com sweatlee

    Hey everyone, thank you so much for all your kind words and advices. I read every single comment a few times and was surprised at how almost everyone has faced/is facing the same problem that i am facing now. and here i am thinking that i’m so unique wtf

    to people who have overcome this phase in their lives, congrats and i hope i can have your strength too :)

    to people who are still in this situation just like me, let’s all find solace in the fact that there are so many of us out there and we’re all in this together.

    i guess you’re all right, i’m very lucky that i have a boyfriend to hold on to despite all this. but i truly hope everyone realizes that at least you’re not alone in this. aww i’m so emo wtf

  • yuhhui

    Thank you. I thought I was the only one also… in a forsaken place like India.. hhaha.. your post made me realise one thing.. it’s part of life and we have to deal with it.. =) Nice post girl!!

  • http://looliwun.com liwun

    hey suet,

    i think i can sort of relate to how you feel. i was on exchange to australia for a whole year last semester, and lived with three other people – all really really good friends of mine even before we went to australia.

    shit happened when all three of them got a boyfriend and mine was stuck in malaysia a million miles away, so i always nearly came home to an empty house and the only times id have proper conversation was with my boyfriend on the phone.

    i was resentful if he was too busy to talk to me, because then, who would comfort me and make me feel all better?

    it was too much of an effort to mix with the locals because i would have to sound different and try to fit in and it was just easier talking to malaysians or my friends.

    so don’t worry, you’re not alone in feeling this, and all the best for next semester :)

  • http://piggysherlyn.pixnet.net/blog sherlyn

    hihi, seems like a lot of ppl sharing their feeling here too…can i share it as well? :p

    actually, i think tis is wat happened to most of us….
    like me….i have no confidence to make friends at all since i was form 6….i have a terrible form 6 n i dont wanna make friends or goin out wit friends at all….i m scare…i feel sad wen i trying hard to ask ppl go out wit me or eat wit me wen i m alone…like now…i m having a tough phase too….i m having internship now..alone…without anybody…any friends…family…n i only talk to my bf wen something happen on me…

    i feel warm after i read tis post…as i know, i m not the only one…n it is quite normal actually…

    i dont even dare to tell anyone tat i m actually shy or no confidence to make friends… hhee

    anyway, stay tough k? we readers r still here!
    u r not alone….:p

  • http://starmist.liquidblade.com starmist

    hi suetli,

    thanks for giving me your password, first of all…

    anyway, ur entry strike a chord in me. it’s kinda like deja vu because i’ve been feeling this way lately as well, and i don’t know what to do to get my spirits up anymore. the part about how you only prefer to talk to you bf is EXACTLY the same for me!

    i think what may work is to drag yourself out, meet one or two closer friends.. take it easy, take it a bit at a time. you may not feel like doing it, but when you are at the cafe with that particular close friend of urs, biatching abt stuff and laughing, it MAY feel good. perhaps only for that while, but well… poco a poco. ok?

    we are all lonely people, deep inside. i’m sure you can tell from all those people who commented in this entry..

  • lalala~

    hey.. i guess everyone has their sad part in life and has to hide it.. i understand how u feel… i only had my bf too for once… and honestly on the more positive side it thought me how to really appreciate my bf… im so sure ur old self will be back once u find ur new “kaki”… that’s how my old self came back… although it was hard to actually start trusting and be social again but i guess u just have to crack that shell open… good luck suetli…

  • claire


    this post reflected heaps of my past except I was dropped out of college eventually and sunk into depression for a long long time. it’s not easy but i believe as long as you dont slip into the black hole but think positively *have happy thoughts when you think you’re going low*.
    employ some woman-friends *bitchy one* – like yours truly to talk about anything random!
    and you’re right, this is a phase everyone will go through and the outcome will depend on yourself.
    be well, be happy.

  • adelene

    Everyone had said the things that i wanted to say..so I just wish to tell you that, I want to have lunch and dinner with you if i can! Shopping at forever 21 and study together. I really do! so you are not alone. :)

  • mc

    When I was reading this article, the first thing that comes to my head was “There are other people in this world that actually gone through what I’m facing right now??” I came to Australia about 2 months ago to continue my degree … and I was alone then, and still quite alone now. I mean I tried making friends, it’s easier said than done, but I’m taking one step at a time. I was having an emotional roller coaster and cry every 4 days (yea wtf) and keep on finding fault with my partner, and nearly broke up once because of that. I’m still in this shit-uation (haha!) but I’m learning to cope with it … I hope you’ll be fine too :)

  • http://amanda290,blogspot.com amanda

    cheer up babe :) at least u know wats wrong with u right now , and u admitted it! you ll be fine !
    just stay much more cheerful n be positive :)
    if theres a will, theres a way darling !
    life always go tru ups n downs !
    i believe every single people ll go throught this stage so as me right now :/
    not to mention!
    take care girl !
    look so fun over hong kong :(
    i wanna go for some shoppingg spreeee. sighs!

  • ccc

    this is probably written before i came to know your blog.

    i have my dinner by myself, all the time. i just got used to it.

    now i am sure lots of students like to have dinner with you :)

  • sj

    i went through the exact same thing you did. the exact. same. thing. eat alone, push friends away, bf and i broke up too. because i was clingy and demanding. but it seems you’re happier nowadays, as am i, omg are we like soul sisters! hahahahahahaha sorry :3 glad you’re all better now :) it was just a phase :) thankfully we’re out of it! xoxo

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