I spent the last few minutes of 2009 in front of the balcony in my dad’s house in Abu Dhabi. My hands were tightly gripped around the book I was currently engrossed in, my eyes fixated on the city skyline ahead of me. 10 more minutes. I went back to reading A Thousand Splendid Suns, savoring every bit of this moving tale of the struggles of women in Afghanistan.
I like this feeling of being in two worlds; the reality in which you can feel yourself breathe, feel the air on your skin and the voices looming ahead of you, and the fictional world of strong-willed women trying to survive in a war-torn world, of exciting forbidden love and the unfolding of endless drama. I like the feeling of being so engrossed that it seems more and more difficult to discern which is real and which is not anymore.
I looked at my watch again and realized that it was already 12.01 am. I ran outside to the balcony where my family was, climbed the ladder up the rooftop and sat with my siblings. The fireworks erupted, the screaming started, so did the clickings of cameras and the new year wishes. Happy 2010.
I went back to my book even before the fireworks ended and continued reading away. It seemed hard to believe that I was in year 2010 and not 1987. I was in Abu Dhabi holidaying with my family, and not in Kabul with an enraged husband beating the shit out of me.
The first thought that came upon me this year was how blessed I am. How blessed I am to be born into a loving family, in a peaceful country and to be able to do so many things many in the world could only dream of doing. I have the most amazing people in my life and I’m constantly showered with love. With my own money, I’ve traveled to 8 countries this year. And most important of all I’m alive and well and happy.
2009 had been a turbulent year for a lot of people I’m sure, especially for me. I started the year feeling a strong sense of longingness, only to feel neglected and disappointed in the end. I changed from the bubbly girl that I was to a skeptical and moody person, only to realize that I wasn’t happy at all. The last part of 2009 was life-changing in both good and bad ways. My perspectives changed and I went back to my former cheerful self, forever etched with memories I will never forget. 2009 brought about both extremes of me and although I’m still finding it hard to reconcile both ends, I’m trying my very best.
I started my 2010 feeling blessed, loved and happy. I have no new year resolutions this time because I don’t think anything will ever be more important than all of the above. I wish everyone a very happy new year and may this year be as good as your last, if not better! For those who did not have a good 2009, try looking at things differently this year and perhaps that will help.
To all my dear readers, thank you for going through this journey of constant soul-searching and self-improving with me. Thank you for being loyal audience to my life adventures and my inner thoughts of self-doubts and aspirations. Thank you for not bailing out on me when I was lost and confused, and for the constant encouragement to hold on and to stand back up when I fall. Having amazing readers like all of you is another thing I’m truly blessed and thankful for 🙂
Happy 2010 everyone! How strange that word sounds when it rolls off my tongue..Strange, but comforting. Daunting, but exciting. It will be a good year, that I’m sure of. It just keeps getting better every year 🙂