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Lost treasures

Today is an adventurous day:

cause we took our first picture together after so long! We both look tired though, after a looong day of classes and doing other tiring things like walking in the rain. Phew.

In case you’re new to my blog, that’s my roommate/best friend in college, shanshan :)

We often bond over midnight snacks like eating cookies over the trash can or sharing a bowl of instant noodles. yummm recipe to the freshmen 15 wtf except that we’re juniors and we still eat non stop =__=

Anyway, I’ve been wanting to do something for a while but never really had the time to sit down and really get down to doing it. Today, I finally got everything I needed for a super cheap (almost free) photo montage of all my favourite people/things!

What you need:

Clothes pegs (i got this from the dollar store for $1. I’m le awesome. No, actually dollar stores are les awesomes.)

And pictures! I printed my pictures FOR FREE YEAH YOU HEAR THAT, FREEEEEE!!!! I joined CVS photo membership thingy and got 50 free prints =D The best feeling in the world is to walk into a store, ‘buy’ something and walk out without even paying. Woo hoo! I’m not condoning stealing wtf

Next, just use a cable/string/rope to put these pictures together! I used plastic bag (can you see the clear plastic thingy?) cause I’m too stingy to buy rope wtf.

Tada!!! Super easy!

Cost: $1 <— clothes pegs wtf

Another angle. I put up random stuff too like birthday cards!

This is the one on top of my table. I have a few more right next to my bed so I can see them when I wake up! Pictures of my family, boyfriend, friends, and camwhore pictures of myself in case I wake up and forget how I look like wtf

SO happy ^_^ I enjoyed every moment of putting these pictures together cause it reminded me so much of all the great memories when the pictures were taken ♥

I also accidentally found the fondest memory ever!

Not of myself getting smashed with my own birthday cake lah wtf. This is a book made by my best friends in high school for me before I left for the US!

A book filled with pictures of us in school uniforms, letters from some of my friends and words of encouragement. They told me not to read this until I got on the plane and the moment I started reading it, tears started streaming down my face like there was no tomorrow T____T

I miss you guys :( See you soon, I hope.

Oh well why not. wtf

456

My name is

Today I have decided to reveal my real name. Not that Suet isn’t my real name, but I’ve only started using Suet when I started school. I’ve grown up with an entirely different name, a name that I have always felt quite ashamed of to reveal. It’s Serene, but I don’t look/sound anything like a Serene (not that I know how she will look/sound like wtf)

I really regret not using that name more because as much as I like Suet (well it is in the dictionary and it means cow fats, specifically fats around the loins WTF how unique can that be), it’s reaaaallly hard for people to understand that my parents would give me such an unfortunate name. Case study no. 1:

I was working in the kindergarten yesterday and the 4 year olds were sitting in a circle. One really cute girl looked at me and asked “what’s your name?”

The moment I heard this question my world came crushing down on me wtf. I have avoided telling these kids my name for two weeks now because I know they won’t get it but now I have to say it when ALL the kids were there T___T

“My name is Suet!” and believe me when I say I tried to say it as normally as I could. Sweat, you know, like Michelle or Sarah.

The little girl looked at me with a blank, but sympathetic face, as if she could really understand my pain wtf.

After a moment of pause, she said “I’m sweating!!” with a straight face.

This is the story of my life wtf

I always always have to repeat my name and sometimes people are nice to just accept the fact that my name sounds like perspiration, but sometimes they’ll go whaaat? and the usual oh suet means snow in chinese blabla will ensue.

Once, I heard from a friend in HK that she knew of me cause people were saying how I like to make a big deal out of my name. Right, I only had to tell them more about my name cause THEY THOUGHT MY NAME WAS A JOKE!

I guess it’s a good thing to have a different name cause my professors usually remember my name, which is quite rare if your name is common. I have a prof who actually likes how different it is and makes it a point to always call me in class just so he can hear himself saying it wtf.

Anyway there’s no point to this entry lah I’m just procrastinating from doing my papers. I spent the entire day in the library today just researching for this paper. 8 hours straight no playing around nothing. And I haven’t even started writing FML I really don’t think I like econ at all. It’s due day after tomorrow FML 2x I’m such a nerd bye bye

374

CNY at NYC

Yo mama I’m back! Although no one was really concern for my safety although I mentioned that I’d be following a COMPLETE stranger wtf, I’m safe and sound :) The stranger turned out to be really nice but don’t try that at home kids. And papa, don’t scold me I didn’t have money to take the bus T_T Besides, I was with another friend too I wasn’t alone!

So, I spent possibly the best Chinese New Year abroad in New York this year! I was a little reluctant to go cause it’s kinda expensive and will take up a big chunk of my time but it was GONG XI FA CAI and I couldn’t possibly spend that here! So off I went with my stranger friend.

If there was one thing I wish I had done, it was to apply to a college in NYC. My heart and soul belong to a city, they truly do. Le sigh, but alas, the milk has been spilled so here I am.

CNY eve dinner at Carol’s place. We were s0 pampered lor! Like a real CNY dinner *big wet eyes

Everyone who was there that night. From left – Nicholas, Khye Teng, Jason, Joe LIEW my other brother wtf, Su Ann, Carol our mama, Dom, John, Me and Chern Han my other Hokkien half

Spin the bottle time!

Fate has spoken now tell me your deepest and darkest secret

In the spirit of Chinese New Year, we slept at 6 am that night wtf

Dim Sum on Sunday! Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy

Dong dong dong dong chiang. I’ve never really liked lion dance, don’t know why. My siblings and I used to have a mini lion dance set we used to play with for the longest time ever. One day we woke up and just forgot about it and our fascination and obsession with it ended right there and then.

I love Su Ann as much as I love Malaysian grocery stores ♥

I had a really amazing night after that just talking to people I haven’t talked to in a while. Shisha, gossips, silence, more gossips, getting to know you getting to know all about you, singing to the beatles on youtube, missing my bus the next day. What an ideal weekend.

Now I’m back in my room, eating cookies over the trash can so the crumbs won’t get on the floor with my roommate.

Back to doing work work work and then more fun this weekend! I’m so much happier now, thank you people at NYC! I feel so loved and happy :) I hope you guys had an amazing CNY/Valentine’s too!

I had an online date with my bf on skype, more on that later now I have to study like a nerd wuwu.

—-

ok since I’m so happy, let me show you 3 pictures that will change your perception of me forever wtf

my sister went on an old-pictures-digging frenzy and tagged these pictures of me on FB:

I’m the baby in the middle. Fucking cute ok!

Still fucking cute WTF hahaha I’m the retarded looking person in yellow. Why the hell was I so dark and why was I wearing a glow stick on my wrist wtf

This one is the cutest lah no doubt. What can I say, I was a happy kid. Fat, but happy wtf

-after 10 minutes-

I still can’t get over this picture. Seriously can you look me in the eye and say I’m not the epitome of cuteness wtf look at those thunder thighs, at the cleverly disguised bulging tummy and at the big smile! (more like crying in pain wtf)

383

Entry Four

It’s funny how my emotions are so vulnerable to basic uncomplicated events. I was feeling really upset one day because I thought I did badly in a paper and when I found out I got a really good grade for it, I was on cloud nine for days. Then today I felt really confident about some things but they disappointed me and I felt like my life just swiveled down the drain.

It’s funny how I take my academics so seriously, as if they really matter in the real world. I know they don’t. Heck, I’m like the ultimate advocate for not stressing over school work and here I am, le queen of hypocrisy.

It’s funny how optimistic I was about this place, only to realize that nothing has changed to accommodate the new me. I can feel the new me being squished and pushed into the mold once again. Before I can even blink in horror, voila, back to the very beginning.

I have decided what I want in my life. I want to wake up everyday feeling motivated to do things. I want to go about with my daily life feeling really happy to be doing whatever I was doing. Woohoo, waking up at 9am, best part of the day evarrrr! Woohoo, walking to class in the cold, bestest part ever!! Woohoo, doing assignments, SUPER best part ever! Sleeping time, worst part ever cause I can’t do anything :(

Woohoo, going to work, super! Woohoo, giving birth, what a joy! Woohoo, breastfeeding, can’t wait! You get my point.

I need some woohoos in my life right now. (not related but you know in The Sims, to Woo Hoo means to have sex wtf so everytime I play the sims, my goal is just to get my sim to woo hoo with another sim WTF but this is not the woo hoo I’m talking about ok)

Shit I wrote too many woo hoos now the word looks very weird to me.

Actually I’m glad I’m back to blogging. It has always been some sort of a therapeutic outlet for me and I actually feel happy I’m talking nonsense again.

I can’t wear my emotions on my sleeve like this and get upset/happy about the littlest things. That’s my goal numero un.

Goal numero deux is to get some freaking exercise before I turn into a slab of gooey fat mud.

Goal numero trois is to NEVER let myself swivel down the drain like before again.

Goal numero quatre is to get out of here and start doing real work so I can have some fun in New York with my good friends.

Le set.

344

Monologues

I have some pictures to post but I can’t seem to muster enough energy to transfer them to my computer. School has been incredibly tiring these days; wayyy more tiring than I had ever imagined it was.

Seriously being a student is really not easy okay. In my case, I have to be burdened with school work, lab work, working part time, looking for an internship, looking at grad school, extracurricular activities and a new edition this time around – having a social life.

Actually I’m not as stressed as I should be already cause I really couldn’t be bothered with internships this year. Fuck the rat race. Summer holiday is summer holiday so let me actually berholiday for once. Haha yeah right I wish I’m so chill! I’m in the midst of trying to get the ultimate internship of my dream now so wish me luck =X

I don’t know why I’m striving so hard for anyway. There’s no real concrete proof that having an internship every summer will help me after I graduate. In a way, internships are just so companies get well educated labor for cheap (or sometimes free).

Ok I’m really tired of serious talks. My blog is getting so boring these days, which is actually just a reflection of my life now, but if there’s one pleasure left for me in this world please let it be blogging. I remember how I used to read my old posts and laugh but now when I read my entries I just wanna skip them cause so damn sleep-inducing wtf

ok let’s start over

How’re you today? Great, me too! You’re going to New York this weekend? OMG ME TOO!

You’re getting a ride from a guy from Craigslist whom you don’t know and who could very well be a serial killer but you have no choice cause all the other options are way too expensive? Seriously what the hell, ME TOO!!

But you really don’t care cause you don’t want to spend Chinese New Year/Valentine’s in this dreaded place? Tell me about it.

Wow actually the captions are so apt for my pictures hahaha. There you go, my life summarized in three pictures.

I DON’T GET IT, why am I turning boring??? why why tell me why???

405

What a feeling

I’m kind of upset today. I think I’m just upset in general that my lifestyle changed so drastically from being on the move constantly to staying in my room/library all day doing work. I’m actually happy that I’m back to being constantly challenged intellectually and to doing real work but I’m sad that it’s all just work and no play. I want to work hard and play hard you know, but that’s easier said than done.

I haven’t really found anyone who wants that as much as I do. Most of the people I know are just either this or that and I’m finding it increasingly hard to connect with anyone. I’m graduating in 1 year after this semester and I don’t want my reminiscence of my college years be of the memories I spent doing work/watching drama in my room.

I had a talk with my close friend in college today about this and to my chagrin, I found that we’re drifting further apart in ideologies. This saddens me so much, because I had appreciated the friendship very much and I don’t want anything to change just because I have changed. But there’s just so much to compromise now and what tops the list is my happiness.

I’m determined to show myself, and to people that you can play as hard as you study. I’m not having fun at college right now, to be honest. This is not what I had imagined my college life to be. This is not me, and I cannot see myself being repressed further in this stifling environment. It’s not my college, it’s not the people. I can’t pinpoint what is it exactly, everything just seems like it’s in the wrong place right now, especially me.

So, I got an award recently for being in the top 10% in my graduating class and yet I don’t feel anything remotely close to being an accomplished person. I’d rather trade my award for a decent GPA and a social life :(

I just want happy memories to remember my college by, happy memories hanging out with friends and happy conversations about everything and nothing. It doesn’t even have to include partying, alcohol and scandalous things like that.

I need to find my niche, and this is not it.

I will wake up happy tomorrow and try harder. I don’t believe that my environment will decisively mold the person that I am. I will not let history repeat itself again and if it even tries to repeat itself, I’ll catch it by its knees and jam them hard into its ass. Let’s see who’s the boss now wtf

869

Random Spiel

So, basically, I have a problem. A BIG problem. Now I’m just not interested in social media anymore for some reason. I read updates on Twitter and feel like I couldn’t be bothered with any of these people’s lives. I read blogs with an absent mind, not really reading or looking at the pictures but basically just scrolling down out of habit.

This is of paramount importance because my life thus far has been a lot about social media. A big part of my life is online, so much so that I feel like once I turn on my computer, that’s where my real world starts. Not that I’m that pathetic lah I do have real life friends with me, but I just prefer talking to friends in Malaysia online.

Anyway I hope this is a phase because feeling this way has prevented me from blogging the past few days. I just couldn’t be bothered anymore and when I wrote the entry before this, I was actually pretty serious about stopping blogging altogether. But in the end I felt like a part of me still can’t let go of my online life. One comment actually made me feel very very sad because she said as a reader, she was pretty hurt by how I don’t really care anymore.

I love my readers very much and they have been so supportive thus far, how can I abandon them just cause I’m going through a phase! How thoughtless :(

Anyway let’s get back to business!

So, I have another big problem wtf. I’m bogged down with work and I know I always exaggerate about my workload but this time is damn serious ok. It’s only the first week of class, and already I’m spending more than 4 hours everyday doing work and not finishing them T_____T seriously coming back to Mt Holyoke makes me realize that

1. this college is crazy with workload

2. i’m really not as good as i sometimes think i am *serious self-esteem issues wtf. This is cause I had to write a paper yesterday (YES, only 2nd class and have to write paper already!!) and I realize that my writing is soooo bad!!! ARGH

ok that’s all bye wtf

No lah actually I do have some backlogged pictures. Actually they’re all just boring food pictures.

The world famous Suet Li Hainanese Chicken Rice! Upon mentioning that I would cook this, Barry wet his pants in excitement and anticipation wtf

The awesome chicken which took hours to prepare. Lots of garlic mmm

I was actually REALLY proud of my cream of spinach soup! Not super easy but not very complicated either. Mmmm comfort food number 1

I combined three different recipes but can’t remember which already =__= I think just google cream of spinach recipe lah (sorry I know I’m really helpful..but how many of you would want to make this anyway!)

Intermission wtf

My hair grew so much already T____T This was three weeks ago and now it’s like a bob yuck I hate bobs. I’m going to manually cut it real short soon *crosses fingers that I don’t accidentally shave my head..

Sorry bad picture, but this is possibly the easiest food to cook and it’s superrrrrrrrrrrrr yummy too trust me. And VERY healthy. All you need: potatoes, mushrooms, peppers, garlic, onions and lots of olive oil. Dump it into the oven for 40 minutes and you’ll have oven baked potatoes+vegetables! It’s so good yums

Instant noodle HK style, with egg and ham and luncheon meat! =D I can open cafe already hor

With Dom over the weekend at Boston!

And Carol!

See what I mean by bob? Yuck yuck.

We had a small Malaysian gathering at Nick Choo’s apartment and he cooked us assam laksa!!!!! shit I want that now T___T

Speaking of this, ATTENTION to all Malaysians in the US especially those in the East coast.

We’re organizing the Malaysian Forum again this year and it’ll be at Noo Yawk Citeh!! Super excited about it cause I’ll be involved with organizing it for the first time, instead of just participating. Don’t say I didn’t tell you ah! I’ve received so many emails asking me why didn’t I inform people of the previous forums and how they want to attend too.

Anyway the website is not up yet but I’ll update you guys later. For now, just mark the first weekend of April in your calendar!

And if you are a working Malaysian in America/know anyone who is and can afford to donate to our small little organization, that’ll be wonderful because otherwise, we’ll have to incur higher registration fees :(

Again folks in America, you really want to attend this forum. It’s possibly the most amazing Malaysian experience ever for me and I’m sure it’ll benefit everyone. Spread the word!

693

blahblah

i don’t wanna blog anymore, at least not for the time being. bye bye everyone, it was good while it lasted!

why i’m going to stop blogging:

1. i find it sickening somehow. more elaboration on this will only cause hoohaa so i rather just shut up

2. no inspiration/motivation

3. nothing exciting to share

4. too lazy

5. have a lot more important things to do. ie: study/think about grad school/internship/what the hell i want to do with my life

6. coming back to college makes me realize one thing– all that optimism and change i wanted was just all talk and no action. it wasn’t because i don’t want to, but because the environment doesn’t permit me to. because of this, i’m too bummed out, hence the decision to stop talking about stuff i won’t do, hence the hiatus.

7. too lazy

8. seriously the main reason is just cause i’m in the middle of fucking nowhere and i do nothing but go to class, study, sleep, study, watch drama, sleep. don’t think the whole world needs to know that.

9. it’s just a phase

10. will start blogging tomorrow

i’m such an ass hahahah i think everyone wants to slap me now