It’s funny how my emotions are so vulnerable to basic uncomplicated events. I was feeling really upset one day because I thought I did badly in a paper and when I found out I got a really good grade for it, I was on cloud nine for days. Then today I felt really confident about some things but they disappointed me and I felt like my life just swiveled down the drain.
It’s funny how I take my academics so seriously, as if they really matter in the real world. I know they don’t. Heck, I’m like the ultimate advocate for not stressing over school work and here I am, le queen of hypocrisy.
It’s funny how optimistic I was about this place, only to realize that nothing has changed to accommodate the new me. I can feel the new me being squished and pushed into the mold once again. Before I can even blink in horror, voila, back to the very beginning.
I have decided what I want in my life. I want to wake up everyday feeling motivated to do things. I want to go about with my daily life feeling really happy to be doing whatever I was doing. Woohoo, waking up at 9am, best part of the day evarrrr! Woohoo, walking to class in the cold, bestest part ever!! Woohoo, doing assignments, SUPER best part ever! Sleeping time, worst part ever cause I can’t do anything 🙁
Woohoo, going to work, super! Woohoo, giving birth, what a joy! Woohoo, breastfeeding, can’t wait! You get my point.
I need some woohoos in my life right now. (not related but you know in The Sims, to Woo Hoo means to have sex wtf so everytime I play the sims, my goal is just to get my sim to woo hoo with another sim WTF but this is not the woo hoo I’m talking about ok)
Shit I wrote too many woo hoos now the word looks very weird to me.
Actually I’m glad I’m back to blogging. It has always been some sort of a therapeutic outlet for me and I actually feel happy I’m talking nonsense again.
I can’t wear my emotions on my sleeve like this and get upset/happy about the littlest things. That’s my goal numero un.
Goal numero deux is to get some freaking exercise before I turn into a slab of gooey fat mud.
Goal numero trois is to NEVER let myself swivel down the drain like before again.
Goal numero quatre is to get out of here and start doing real work so I can have some fun in New York with my good friends.