I was trying to take time off for myself but I realized that I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t stand a single second of being alone without yakking my mouth off to anyone who would listen. But I desperately NEED time for myself right now, more than ever. I don’t know why, it’s not like I have anything to think about. It’s just about needing your own space to hide inside your own world.
I’m really upset right now but it’s the good kind of upset. It’s the kind of upset that doesn’t need comforting, the kind of upset that doesn’t need to be talked about, the kind of upset that will eventually go away given some time. To be honest, I don’t even have a reason to be upset. I’m too busy living life to be upset. Isn’t it weird how swiftly certain emotions come and go? It’s even weirder how some emotions tend to disguise themselves as other emotions but are in actual fact another completely polarizing emotions.
Can you tell that I’m not making sense? But really, I am. Here’s an example: I was minding my own business when I was suddenly engulfed by this extremely overwhelming and powerful feeling. I was completely conscious of the fact that that feeling wasn’t a negative one because I was happy and happy people don’t feel upset. Subconsciously however, I could feel that it wasn’t a happy feeling because..well, just because. So there I was, utterly confused by the logic behind what I should feel as opposed to what I really felt.
So this is a completely nonsensical post to you but why does it make so much sense to me?
Is anyone still reading? As a reward to you careful readers, here’s another confession. This is a truly brand-new confession, never before released to the public eye. Despite my simple facade, I’m actually a very confused and complicated person. This realization dawned upon me as I was writing “here’s another confession” which means, I’ve never even thought of myself as confused and complicated before until two seconds ago. How’s that for brand new and hot from the oven?
This confused and complicated person needs to sleep on that statement before she can elaborate any further. Or maybe, she’s just le tired.