June 19th, 2010
Confession of an overly emotional drama queen
I was trying to take time off for myself but I realized that I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t stand a single second of being alone without yakking my mouth off to anyone who would listen. But I desperately NEED time for myself right now, more than ever. I don’t know why, it’s not like I have anything to think about. It’s just about needing your own space to hide inside your own world.
I’m really upset right now but it’s the good kind of upset. It’s the kind of upset that doesn’t need comforting, the kind of upset that doesn’t need to be talked about, the kind of upset that will eventually go away given some time. To be honest, I don’t even have a reason to be upset. I’m too busy living life to be upset. Isn’t it weird how swiftly certain emotions come and go? It’s even weirder how some emotions tend to disguise themselves as other emotions but are in actual fact another completely polarizing emotions.
Can you tell that I’m not making sense? But really, I am. Here’s an example: I was minding my own business when I was suddenly engulfed by this extremely overwhelming and powerful feeling. I was completely conscious of the fact that that feeling wasn’t a negative one because I was happy and happy people don’t feel upset. Subconsciously however, I could feel that it wasn’t a happy feeling because..well, just because. So there I was, utterly confused by the logic behind what I should feel as opposed to what I really felt.
So this is a completely nonsensical post to you but why does it make so much sense to me?
Is anyone still reading? As a reward to you careful readers, here’s another confession. This is a truly brand-new confession, never before released to the public eye. Despite my simple facade, I’m actually a very confused and complicated person. This realization dawned upon me as I was writing “here’s another confession” which means, I’ve never even thought of myself as confused and complicated before until two seconds ago. How’s that for brand new and hot from the oven?
This confused and complicated person needs to sleep on that statement before she can elaborate any further. Or maybe, she’s just le tired.
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Aren’t all of us complex? We can’t use poetry of Li Po to judge Li Po’s personality. So the same can be said about your blog, my blog, everyone elses blogs
I can understand what you’re feeling too, Suet Li. Actually for me lah, i think that it’s like this.. you’re feeling happy at a moment but part of u don’t want to feel TOO happy for maybe you fear that the happiness won’t last that long.. :/ or like in another case, you’re feeling sad but u want to block that feeling of sadness by telling yourself not to be sad and then it suddenly LINKS to anger(?) i know, it’s actually a bit weird but that was how I feel. or maybe it’s because sadness and hurt can lead to anger.
woah! OK! i just realise something too. XD it’s all rather confusing. i guess that the honest truth is that feelings are rather complicated. and so are human beings. we are all rather complex which is why human behaviour is really hard to predict and understand sometimes. Even as your own self, you tend to feel confused and unsure of your own feelings. But there are times when you really, truly, 100% sure of your own feelings – no idea how that happens but it does! lol.
Truth to be told, those kind of moments come up once in a while and happens to me too. For no apparent reason. I usually feel like “YAY! Something good happened to me”. But then there’ll be that small thought of “OMG… How’s this going to be like in the future or what’s the side-effect?”.
Sounds like you’re worried about something?
Hey hun (: everythings good. it’s normal don’t worry, all of us get that a lot as well (:
and when i heard that you are back in KL , i dream of meeting you in person since you live quite near me lol but nah.. lol
I’ve been reading your blog for years, all your random thoughts, LDR relationship talk etc me LOVE! i introduced your blog to most of my close girl friends and they really love you a lot
u’ll be a great girl friend to hang out with and talk to about LDR i assume (:
life can be a bitch sometimes, emotions as well. but try to turn it over and kick them hard (:
my best wishes to you, hope this will cheer u up a little
Halo there. first time dropping by here. Like your blog^^ Sometimes we get a little bit moody but it is normal. If you feel upset just go to a wide open space and try to scream out loudly. Bet you will feel much much better [ps i tried that before]
well hope our suet won’t get too emo =] take care =]
I call this feeling ‘sien-ness’. Happens once in a while. Cheer up~
go back to HK
island will always be the best place to heal and relax =) let the sea brings away all of your uncertainties. we are all drama queens in our lives so yeah you’re not alone at all. and nice meeting you !!!!!!! haha you’re so pretty and tiny ^_^ enjoy the trip tomorrow ok ?
it’s good to be a little emotional, a little complex and a little confused at times…it keeps us somewhat in touch with reality I guess…but that’s just me…cheers! this too, shall pass
Cheer up! i love your blog because it’s personal and real, unlike other bloggers who blog for money
Hi SweatLee, interesting posting….I guess we all sometimes go thru this moments in life…reflecting, dreaming or wondering. But its just human. Without which life would be a plant without flowers.
And our life today is not a dress rehearsal, we only get one round to play….
Just live your life with no excuses, love with no regrets.
You have a great week and keep a song in your heart. Best regards, Lee.
*pats back*
i just want to say i feel you COMPLETELY. until i read your entry, i’d always thought i was the only one in this world who feels like this and feels i am the most complicated person ever cos nobody around me understands or has this feeling too =(
‘Despite my simple facade, I’m actually a very confused and complicated person.’
Oh Sweatlee, you’ve just voiced out what’s been on my mind so much lately.
I think I’m quite confused and complicated too, although on the surface i seem pretty easy-going and ‘sohai’! only my (x)bf would understand this, i guess. been having bouts of emo-ness lately, and sometimes i dont even know why!
thanks for being so honest. this is an eg of why i always come to ur blog…love it =)
Hi, I guess there are those days we all get these feelings.
Sometimes time to get our batteries recharged, some maybe to cross the bridge after being left behind standing on the jetty.
Anyway, good to smell the flowers as long as no stress involved.
You have a nice day, and keep a song in your heart.
Lee.