August 16th, 2010
Entry Seven
Today I finally have the time to be on my own for a little while and I realized that I actually haven’t been alone in an extremely long time now. It’s really weird because when I had this phase of my life in Hong Kong, I was mostly alone in my thoughts wandering around Central or Kennedy Town. It’s quite funny how 9 months later, I find myself in the exact same position I was once. The same unsettling feeling of quandary, the same confusing state of perplexity.
So, it’s officially two weeks before I board my flight back to the states, and I feel so incredibly reluctant to go back this time. For some reason, this summer feels so fleeting yet very long at the same time. How do I explain this? I sometimes feel like it was only yesterday that I bade goodbye to the concrete jungle where dreams are made of, to the drunken stupor of 5th avenue. But at the same time, it’s only been three months since I came home but I also feel like I’ve grown almost three years in this time.
I think I have a lot of explaining to do and I will, once I have the time to sit down and to go through my thoughts. My blog has always been dangerously public and I’ve never felt the need to hold back until recently. Until recently when I realized that I am no longer the same person I once was a few years ago. But I guess people grow, and people change. Those changes scared the hell out of me at first but I think I’m beginning to embrace those changes and have grown to accept a different part of myself and the different life I’m living now.
All I’m asking from the people who know and love me is this one small favor. I just need you to stand by me and love me unconditionally despite my flaws and faults. I need you to guide me and not judge me for my actions. I need you to be happy for me although you may not be a part of my happiness. So I guess it’s not one small favor..but it’s all I will ever ask of you.
Sorry this post sounds so ambiguous and cryptic but I promise you that I will make more sense next time. Now I shall leave you with a picture of a happy me to mask the sadness of this post:
Today I realized that
I am going to be just fine.
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I may not know u in real life, suet li, but I know that I will support u.(wtf sounds a bit weird this sentence but nvm as long as u can get the meaning it’s enuf.. >_<) and I’ve always enjoyed reading your entries, especially this kind. It helps me too in a way cos i feel I can relate to what u’re feeling too. I will support you in any way. you’re my inspiration…
Err… putus cinta…?
Did you break up with barry? anyway, I hope you’re okay. You were never quite the same since Hong Kong.
liewsuetli you know I love you right!! ^__^ because I do. will see you in a couple of weeks? muah. <3
Hmm… Something I feel like expressing in a long time but procrastinated as always. LOL! Anyway, your ‘small favour’ basically just means ‘accept me for who I was, am and will be.’ Did I get it right?
Your post still sound so positive to me. I think I should reduce the negativity in my blog. Cheer up is the only thing I can come up with.
awww suet i don’t know but reading this just makes me wanna say awww. of course you have the support of your readers. i really hope things work out well for you however it works out and don’t worry about cryptic posts, it doesn’t show vulnerability, just a humane side of you. take good care
OK!!!!
WE WILL STAND BY YOU AND LOVE YOU MOREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
don’t worry so muchhhhhh!!!!!
and u don’t need to make sense at all!!!!! hehe
you’re one of the bloggers whom i actually think of as real people haha.
stay strong there, your readers will back you up
Yes, I totally agree with ena. You’re the most down-to-earth blogger whom we can relate to..a real person behind the words =)
Well we don’t always have to make sense… we’re girls! Hehe. Thank you for always being so open and dangerously public with your readers
we’ll be supporting you always, Ms Suet Li!
take cares <3
don’t know if it counts for much but … *HUGS*
you sound sad but in an enigmatic, enlightened and wistful way … hope you’re alright!
whatever it is, you are smart, down-to-earth, brave and inspiring …
Yes you are going to be fine!
awww you already have so many readers supporting you! you’re gonna be more than just fine, you’re gonna be awesome babe.
and it just warms my heart to see the supportive comments here wuwuwu *touched on your behalf wtf*
i think u look so much like the chinese singer Claire Guo Jing
everyone change but I think you changed the right way. Not too many people I know who changed to a better person ya’know. and dun worry, we will always be here supporting you and your every decisions you will make in the future.
we are not here to judge. we are here to listen and to love you for all of you including your flaws and faults. Because of your flaws and faults, you made us feel closer to you. Not just a blogger we read daily, but someone close who we can relate to. and yes, you are gonna be just fine! ;D
well no one in the world is perfect anyway, of course there will be someone who loves you just the way you are.people do change as time passes, it’s just in what way. I think you’ve changed into a better person though i don’t know you hahah , well you’ll be just fine
cheerios ! and all the best in your life over there in the states !!
ur happy photo still looks sad >=( /smack
yea it does… not happy enough..
Suet,although I don’t know you in real life,I will support you no matter what.You’re a great blogger and very inspirational to me.Cheer up Suet!<3
girl just do your own thang and we will all be standing behind you!!!!!!
*gives you a strawberry to cheer you up*
Trouble in life or love?
=D
Will still be your loyal reader and support you. Keep it up!
I have been your ardent reader since sometime back and I agree that of all the bloggers around you seem more real and honest than the rest hence I try to keep up with your updates, well I hope that what you are going thru shall pass and you will come out a better person than before from this. Keep smiling and spreading your joy
You know I will always love and support you unconditionally. Can’t believe I am telling you this but stay strong yes. Your happiness means the world to me :-*
Similar to “The 10 year old Baby”, I too want to say something outrageously baffling and yet eerily weird but I can’t seem to come up with anything now.
i realized you never sounded same after hong kong, just stay strong.. your readers will always be there for you…
i think you found yourself… you are comfortable and at ease being yourself now and it might be different from what you expect, but everyday we learn about ourselves.. just let loose and enjoy the moment… that is part of growing up. =)