I sincerely apologize for the lackluster posts these days. I’ve been incredibly emotional lately about a myriad of things and I may have even appeared unhappy or sad or upset. Rest assured, I was anything but all that. I was broody yes, and I was contemplative, but I was nowhere near thinking that my life sucks balls.
Anywayyy, I realized that I’m actually not comfortable with sharing such a big part of my life online anymore. I get ill with ease at the thought of people I don’t know putting my life under the microscope for scrutiny. My stomach churns at the thought of people I know getting hurt by my utmost honest feelings because they didn’t want to acknowledge that before.
I can’t do this anymore. Thanks for reading so lovingly, so patiently, and so loyally for the last few years. Last many many years actually. I will still blog of course, but really, don’t expect anything like before. I’ve entered a new phase of my life where putting myself out there like an open book has proven to hurt myself and many people in my life.
It’s actually quite weird to think this way because I used to think that I have nothing to lose by parading myself in public like that. But I guess now this is a different ballgame altogether. I’m so tired of being afraid of people judging me when in actual fact, NO ONE has the right to even pass judgment about me when they don’t know the whole story. It’s, however, an inherent human nature to judge and I would be stupid to want to go around pointing fingers and shouting at people who do that.
So at the end of the day, I realized that if I don’t provide the source to all this, then it won’t happen and we’ll all be happy right? I go on my merry ways trying new exciting things without feeling like I need to justify myself to anyone, and you go on your own ways reading one less blog.
Isn’t it what it’s down to in the end? You get sad that you lost yet another honest blogger to the big scary world, you moan to your friends that people these days are so afraid of putting themselves out there anymore and that you wish more people will have the courage to do that, and then you shrug and say well I guess this is how the world is. Then a few days later, la la la, you chance upon another blog and you’ll forget all about me.
I sincerely with all my heart and soul do wish that I have the courage to just say fuck ya’ll fuck the world i’m just going to do whatever the hell I want and if you think my actions don’t subscribe to your rigidly-prescribed dogma or principles in life then go find another blog to read and leave me alone while I actually have a guilt-free life. peace out. But alas, I don’t, at least not right now.
So I guess that’s it for now. Thank you for all your time, thank you for all your kind words, and thank you for all your love. I’ve truly been extremely blessed. See you when I see you next.