Today is Doomsday, for I have finally conceded to my fate and accepted the fact that I’m down with a terrible case of Senioritis. Senioritis is a term used to describe seniors in their last year of high school/college who grow complacent and couldn’t care less about schoolwork anymore. C’est moi.
I just came back from a wonderful Thanksgiving break and have been dreading starting on my schoolwork. I have quite a lot of shit to do, but the negative repercussions from not completing them shits are not registering into my head right now. All I could think of is WINTER BREAK and WARM MALAYSIAN WEATHER and FOOD and LOTSA LOVE, not papers and exams and studying.
HOW! Snap me awake! It’s just three short weeks to go actually, three weeks of writing two papers and taking one exam, that’s it! That’s not hard at all compared to what I’ve gone through my previous years. I remember last semester, all that flurry of 4 papers and 2 exams and a presentation in two weeks, and all that panicking over looking for an internship.
The worst part is, I HAVE NOT STARTED LOOKING FOR A JOB *GASPS FOR DEAR LIFE
I must be the ONLY senior who is still happily whistling and frolicking around despite knowing that I will graduate without a job or two in hand. And is it strange that I…couldn’t..care…less?
What has happened to me my dear mother god amitabha?! What happened to my drive and passion to succeed in life, my ambitious career goals to be a strong-headed business-suit wearing woman? Haha who am I kidding, I never wanted to be one of them in the first place. But still, I cannot sit down here everyday and munch on my bite-sized honey graham teddy bear cookies pretending like the real world is not really a big deal and that I can take it without preparing for it.
While the entire graduating class is mucking over their almost-perfect CVs and pulling their hair out in agony applying to graduate schools, I’m here wondering what should be my first meal upon arriving at home. I’m an utter disgrace to mankind, and people should just crucify me along with all the other complacent underachievers.
Ok great I just wasted 30 minutes of my life calculating my GPA in the unfortunate events of (godforbid) me getting all Bs this semester. I can’t believe I’ve resorted to such kiasu means to placate myself and to reassure myself that I have room to slack. Well truth is, I DO have room to slack.
But how oh how do I break away from my extreme lack of motivation! I should be looking for a job, or planning for my grand career plans after graduation, or do something meaningful before I venture into the big scary world, not sloth around all day!
Damn, I must say, writing this entry has taken up all my energy for today wtf
*reaches for my pack of bite-sized honey graham teddy bear cookies wtf