Blowin’ in the wind

Alright, so my self-proclaimed hiatus and all that “I’m not going to blog anymore/I don’t want to reveal myself to the public anymore” was short-lived wtf. Now that I’m back in Malaysia and have been more happening and cheerful lately, I keep coming back to my blog and thinking of new things to talk about.

Truth is, I have a million things to talk about! I’ve spent many afternoons on my own now, mulling about the house alone indecently dressed in torn oversized tee and shorts, sprawling flat on the cold marble floor to cool off, lying on the couch like a sloth reading a chick lit, catching up on personal blogs I’ve stopped reading for a long time, listening to old songs from CDs I never knew I had, sitting by the window watching kids scream playfully in the pool, rummaging the fridge and every cabinet in the kitchen for food and then suddenly remembering that I’ve gained so much weight since I’ve been back so I keep putting back the food while giving them a “sorry I can’t eat you today” look, helping my mother with household chores which sounds really filial of me but in actual fact said chores only include hanging up the clothes to dry, taking them back in and folding them (also proud to admit that I’ve mastered the important skill of taking more than 10 hangers of clothes at one time with the stick thingy, which is worth boasting about because it takes great wrist flexibility and upper arm strength to be able to maneuver the stick with such precision) (but sad to admit that I cannot fold clothes for a living, mom always comes back from work to see such ugly folded clothes and have to refold them again ;_;) – okay, lost my train of thought from too much digression, totally don’t remember what I wanted to talk about.

Anyway, that’s not the point at all. The point is, I’ve become a much happier person lately. I don’t know if it’s the fact that I’m in my comfort zone now in this familiar territory, or the fact that the weather has been extremely kind to me, or the fact that I’m fatter (from the happiness? happiness from food?), or the fact that I actually have friends again, or..the fact that I’m in love with someone amazing.

So this is something I’ve been hiding from the public for numerous reasons ranging from the potential harsh judgment I might get for moving on from my previous breakup so easily to dating someone who seems unconventional for me and thus breaking whatever societal norms/rules there are out there. It’s been six months so if you want to judge me for moving on and for being happy, then screw you. All I know is I’ve been trying to make amends for the pain and hurt I’ve put the people who love me through, and whatever that happened should only concern the people who were involved.

I guess in some ways, I’ve come to terms with having people judge me anyway so why not clear things up myself rather than being speculated mindlessly about. Yes, I’ve moved on and have started dating again. Yes, I’m a cruel person for moving on so quickly when I should be mourning for an indefinite amount of time and be all miserable and sad. Yes, I actually allowed myself to find my own happiness, hence increasing my Cruella Devil-o-meter.

In the pursuit of my own seemingly selfish happiness, I may have been branded many ugly names but so be it. At the end of the day, those names will be mere whispers and will be blown away by the wind, the people who throw ugly glances at me will be mere faceless shadows, but I will still remain happy.

817 comments

  1. Fiions says:

    Happy to see u movin on, im still stuck with the post breakup stage. Its like keep coming back to me. Maybe cuz of PMS. Oh well..

    Anyway still happy for u 😀 blog more!

  2. ccc says:

    to the reply above me, most people don’t care? or care? i would think most people care?

    i want to know more about the happy love story bit. this entry has a good start and a nice ending picture, but.

  3. sj says:

    some girls get over one guy by dating another, not for the purpose of getting over the previous guy, but just cause loving someone new changes a perspective somehow. so no judgement! would love to know more! more! more! haha but in time 🙂 i hope?

  4. Rachel says:

    I think that the only people who get to decide whether it’s too soon or not after the breakup is yourself and your new person :)I went out with my boyfriend not too long after he got out of a pretty long term relationship. Of course I did have my reservations because I had absolutely no intention of being anything close to a rebound or to be seen as one.

    But then I realised that yes people will make judgments, unconscious or not, positive or not. But really, they’re not the ones in the situation. They’re not the ones who’ve met that one person who is sooo amazing that it would be silly to let that person go because of what the ‘societal norm’ is. So good on you for being able to move on. Good on you for being to find someone special enough to help you move forward from that memorable but past relationship.

    🙂

  5. Jesse says:

    Who cares what others think no? If we’re happy that is all tht matters, friends will be happy for you while those who talk are not worthy of being your friend…it’s good you’re happy…cheers

  6. ap says:

    lol, i’m just dying of curiosity as to what this amazing person is like *KAYPOH alert seems like your approach to this is working, no hate comments so far from the folks who like to tell u how to live your life coz we all think we know better than everyone else….u know the feeling u get when u watch soap operas and the characters are about to make a huge mistake marry the wrong girl dump cinderella etc because of a misunderstanding and u just want to jump into the tv and slap them to their senses and fling them towards the rightful love for a makeup kiss *climax lol…… but hey peeps when we’re not the person in question we haven’t enough information to make judgement so chill your nips! hold your horses! peace be unto u so the blog isnt so full of landmine areas

  7. yumii says:

    As long as you are happy, nobody have any rights to say anything about your life. ^^ I knew that you are dating again!!! I’m just glad that you are happy right now. have lotsa fun!!!!

  8. Amanda says:

    i will admit that at first i was a bit disappointed that you found another person because secretly, i hope you’d get together with barry again. (ok not a secret anymore since im writing it out now -_-) but if you’re a much happier person now then i am happy for you too! ^__^ come on, we want the good old happy go lucky sweatlee! =D

    That said, you MUST blog about this someone new guy!! 😀 it’s not wrong to want to move on. it’s true. it’s your life. if you wanna move on, you do that, girl! don’t care about what others think of you. people shouldn’t go around judging another person. we all have our reasons for the things that we do and if they don’t understand that so be it. =)

  9. ccr says:

    ohai itz me!! i’ve been stalking you on twitter so i kinda knew abt that amazing guy before you confessed here. AND WHY IS HIS SURNAME LIEW? bahaha.. i thought he’s your cousin or siapa2 ;p

  10. Joanna says:

    this societal norm thing sucks. totally understand how you felt cos i was in the exact same situation 🙁 but you know what suet, fts. be happy! that’s all that matters. judgemental people can all go fuck themselves. at the end of the day, it is you who live your life.

    hope to hear about this new guy soon 😀

  11. The Faux Fashionista says:

    Mehhh, let them judge! It is always easier to condemn others compared to painful introspection for the sake of bettering one’s own life.

    I’m genuinely happy for your happiness. Lazing around the house in torn oversized t-shirts and shorts are one of the simplest pleasures that life has to offer 🙂

  12. wy says:

    Dear Suet, as mentioned all above, i am happy too for you are happy. it’s sad to retreat from my own desire just because the judgement people will put me into. it’s no wrong but not much people really understand the whole thing in detail! so yep, great to see a happy suet.

  13. be happy says:

    hi.. i’ve always been a silent reader, but now i feel compelled to leave a message. i am in the exact same situation as u now, and i’ve never been more glad that i decided to give myself and my new guy a chance. truth is, everyone will have something to say anyhow, regardless of whether u move on or not. we do not have an obligation to make everyone aside from ourselves happy. so go on, be happy and embrace love once again! all the best 🙂

  14. Lucy says:

    It doesnt’t matter who you date or if you’re jumping too fast from a relationship to another. Doesn’t matter if the guy you’re dating now is different from the norm – older, different race …etc

    What matters is you’re happy and no one have the right to choose who you should be with. Whatever it is, just be strong.

  15. valerie kor says:

    :D:D:D:D:D super like this post after having emosuet for a while its good to have the cheery suet back! home is still the best 😀 maybe one day you can decide to tell us whos this amazing person too??

  16. imsohigh says:

    WALL OF TEXT

    WALL OF TEXT WALL OF TEXT

    life is unfair 🙁

    btw having trouble with breakup? i notice most of my buddies who broke up frequent to gym . maybe you can try to build some muscle and 6 pack on your free time

  17. Aini says:

    Don’t be silly! Life’s too short to be spent mourning failed relationships. Take the time to get over it, but after that, time to get on with things and if it means you have found another love, then so be it.

  18. Lydia says:

    Hie Suet. I met the love of my life one month after I got out of a terrible relationship with a cheating boyfriend. Many have passed nasty judgments and said that he is a rebound but I’d like to think that all things happen for a reason. Our r/s grows stronger everyday and we know we have a lifetime ahead of us. Sometimes love happens that way 🙂 Really glad to hear that you’re happy again now!

  19. xiao says:

    it happens when it happens 🙂 i try to remember anyone who tries to pass any type of judgment are probably people who do the selfsame things they are so high and mighty about anyway /thumbs nose

    can’t wait for a picture!

  20. Goingkookies says:

    It’s good that you’re happy once again.. very important.

    Oh well, we all make mistakes and hopefully learn from then. Besides, you can never please everyone.

    Most importantly, you know what you want and you know what you’re doing and getting yourself into.

    All the best in this love journey with your Mr. Unconventional. =) Try not to let what nasty people say affect u.. hehe.. easier said than done but guess what?

    Seems like u have an awesome bunch of friends to support you no matter what so.. to hell with the nasty people! =p

  21. Jessy says:

    I’ve been thru the ‘U’re such a bad person’ period, and seriously people can just be so lifeless to talk about you.. Anyway, there’s Nothing wrong with moving on, and no one can judge you from that, It’s ur life not theirs. I’m glad that u’ve found ur love life again=)

  22. Ee Lin says:

    ahhh…i’m glad that you’re back to blogging again!!! was feeling emo when u said that there’s a possibility that u’ll stop blogging. phew! all your readers (including me) are really happy for u! =)

  23. nicole says:

    why is this a pursuit of “seemingly selfish happiness”? It isn’t selfish at all. Who benefits if you stay in mourning over a past relationship, really? Nah, there may be those who pass judgements on you over some fabricated and completely insensible societal norm, but the harshest judgement comes from your ownself, perhaps as a reaction against the initial convictions of others. I think this ‘societal norm’ thing has too tight a hold on you. It’s alright, Suet, you’ve a right to happiness, too, and so far you don’t sound the least bit selfish.

    But then again, you sound blissfully happy, already so I guess the content of this comment is obsolete….but good on you, anyway!

  24. Nghi says:

    Happy to read this post!!!!

    On a completely unrelated note, I never got a chance to meetup w/ you before getting my a$$ out of How Sadly ( just before the snow storms though, so I was lucky!) Never thought I’d say this but as I stare desperately at my piles of cardigans and sweaters and coats (that I barely touch anymore since I’m so SoCal now) I kinda somewhat miss the true winter of the East Coast teehee.

    Hope your last semester sails well!

  25. imsohigh says:

    btw wow you actually write a whole of text everytime u need to justify something you did

    that is sick yo. just do whatever you want, by posting this wall of text its just show that you are insecure and afraid of being judged, playing the victim to make it look like youre innocent , thats manipulative yo . convincing that all those justifications are real is even more psychotic

    and no doing what you think will make you happy is not selfish but what you wrote is selfish

    may god smite heavenly judgement upon you , infidel

  26. cheryl says:

    i totally understand what you mean by people’s judgements.
    i ended a 3 year old relationship that had turned ugly with a person i once loved and i moved on quite quickly. people judged me, like moving on is a bad thing to do. even some very close friends. it hurt for a bit but now 3 months into the relationship, people dont bother giving me the ‘look’ any more and i couldnt be bothered about what people has to say about me too. the most important thing is that im a happy person now.

    glad that you found happiness suet!!
    heart your blog. =))

  27. Voon says:

    It’s good to hear that you have moved on and are now actually happy again. Also, it is very brave of you to keep posting despite knowing that you will be judged, and that is really cool. Finally, i wish you good luck in you future undertakings. 🙂

  28. jade says:

    hey suet! i’m so happy for you! thanks for putting your innermost thoughts out there because for every hater out there, there’s probably some other girl nodding her head and saying ‘aye, i’m in the same shoes, i get where you’re coming from.’ and that would be me. thanks for helping us get through things a little easier 🙂

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