Goodbyes

I think one of the main reasons why I stop blogging so frequently is because I tweet a lot more now. It’s more convenient compared to having to open my WordPress and writing a bigger chunk of text, but I have to admit I always prefer writing in my blog a lot more. How can you express adequately your emotions and feelings and ideas in 140 characters? especially when you have to shorten words and things look so abrupt. It’s just not the same..

Anyway I’ve been back for good (still feels weird) for almost two weeks now and I’ve been doing nothing but bumming. After less than a week of bumming, I couldn’t take it anymore and went to look for something to do – anything! a job, an internship, volunteer work, whatever to make me feel more useful. So now I’m going to volunteer my services to Teach for Malaysia and will be their dutiful intern for a month!

I have to start work next week…..and working hours are somewhere between 9am-8pm if I’m lucky…..and I’m kinda regretting it…….why torture myself when I could chillax and lepak at home goyang kaki everyday! But I know how much help they need, and I DO have time and energy so why not.

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one of those days where I had all the time in the world so I took 12481 shots of myself in the same pose wtf

I actually have so much to blog about but I can’t remember what I wanted to say anymore ;___; I promise I’ll blog more frequently now, maybe even once in 2/3 days like before *gasp* so I don’t forget the things I want to say.

For today! I have photos from my graduation! These are nicer pictures since they’re taken with a camera and not my phone. What an abomination, a blogger taking pictures with her phone tsk tsk.

with my parents

spot me!

shanshan and I with our complete graduation regalia! It feels amazing to graduate alongside your best friend :)

FML my sunflower is dead wtf

with fellow Malaysians, Gim, Stef and Emily! (shanshan is our honorary Malaysian cos thanks to me, she speaks in malaysian accent (even stronger than mine) and remembers all the malaysian food (tosai, nasi lemak, roti, banana leaf rice, chilli pan mee))

with Chuck, my accounting professor! I love him cos he’s super eccentric and sarcastic, the kind of professors I usually like. He also gave me 99% in that class and when he saw me he said “good job! you Asian”. I asked if he even remembers my name and he said “it’ll come to me one day” wtf

Can you believe he’s 70+ years old and he baked brownies for us in EVERY class???? He also only wore suit to class so I asked him once if he bakes in his suit and he said “no, silly! I slip on an apron” hahaha

I think we took a total of 1000 over pictures that day cos our parents kept asking us to pose with EVERYthing -___-

“GOT FLOWERS! TAKE PICTURES!” *snap snap 20 times in same pose

“SQUIRRELS! STAND IN FRONT OF THEM” *snap snap

“WHITE PEOPLE!! TAKE WITH THEM” *snap snap

and everytime we stopped to talk to friends, we have 4 paparazzi taking pictures of us from all angles! hahaha and our friends would say “err i hope they’re your parents right”

Shanshan was grumbling about having to take so many pictures but hello! when will you get to have photographers following you everywhere and taking pics of you! Gotta love ‘em proud parents :D

In front of the chapel!

with my parents.

yes I changed my shoes wtf. I bought this pair for graduation but didn’t wear them earlier cos I was scared I’d trip when receiving my degree on stage hahaha

with the college sign and my dead sunflower. I don’t know why I kept holding on to it T_T

more pictures taken by the proud parents. Shanshan’s dad had 3 cameras and he used all 3 cameras everytime cos he said each camera produces different pictures, damn cute! But also very tiring for us to hold the poses  T_T

Anyway that’s the end of it! Everything went by so fast during graduation and I didn’t even have time to really say goodbye to shanshan. The last thing I remember was me helping her pack and bossing her around and nagging her as usual while she panics like a kid as usual (we have a funny relationship), and then we hugged and we kept saying we won’t cry and I left hurriedly cos I felt like I was choking in tears and then…gone.

Goodbyes are painful, and it’s worse when people make empty promises to each other. “I’m sure I’ll see you again” “I’ll come visit!” but I kept telling them “no, you won’t.” Let’s face it, we live on completely different sides of the world, and I rather face reality and bid a proper farewell than keep my hopes up.

Goodbyes are painful because it takes years to build a strong friendship, and no matter how much you say you’ll keep in touch, things will be very different when you are not physically close to each other. It takes years for a friendship to transcend superficiality and for two people to really know each other more than they know themselves. With Shanshan, I’d often say something and she’d know what I said actually didn’t reflect how I felt, and she was right 9 out of 10 times. Our friendship was painfully honest and incredibly real, and I’m afraid I wouldn’t find something like this once I get out of school anymore.

But..the world awaits. And so I bade farewell to my home for 4 years and my best friend who till this day is the prettiest girl I have ever met inside and outside, and pray that all our late night talks on our big dreams and hopes will come true.

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32 Responses to “Goodbyes”

  1. 1
    samantha says:

    Hi suet, I’m a frequent reader but I’ve never commented before. The last part of your entry today made me tear up though, so I just felt I had to comment!

    I’m graduating from an overseas university in about a month too, so I guess I’ll probably have to go through the same goodbye sadness. Not looking forward to it :( :(

  2. 2
    Claire says:

    Love your last two paragraphs. So meaningful and sweet <3 Wish you all the best now that you’re back!

  3. 3
    Cheryl says:

    Congrats on the graduation. The last few paragraphs were so sweet. Reminded me of the time when I graduated last year. Good luck with Teach for Malaysia, you’ll be great!

  4. 4
    Aaron Lee says:

    Congratulation! Your place is so beautiful! Remember when you say goodbyes, your past will not define your future. All the best.^_^

  5. 5
    strawberry says:

    your professor so damn cute!! “it’ll come to me one day” hahahahaha
    and THAT mortar! i remember how uncomfy and heavy it was to wear and i took it off for all my photos except going up the stage. up to this day, i always have this feeling that i didn’t graduate “properly” cos almost all of my photos were without mortar except the stage ones!!!! T_____________T

    • 5.1
      strawberry says:

      fuck lah i just realized it should be mortarboard why i went and typed mortar?!?!?! imagine we wear mortar on our heads wtf. an obvious sign that i really didn’t complete my college education “properly” T____________________________T

      • 5.1.1
        sweatlee says:

        hahahha i just googled to see what a mortar is wtf, why they name the hat mortarboard ah?? so weird. and no wor mine not heavy just that it keeps falling. and i’m sure you did complete it la it was an honest mistake wtf

        • strawberry says:

          ahhh you replied me specially!!!
          i is so happy!!!
          makes me feel like a vee eye pee!!!
          next time flash you for you see!!!

          best poem of the century wtf. my mortarboard was damn heavy! it kept falling downwards and covered my eyes wtf. tell you another reason why i felt like i didn’t graduate properly. i wore denim shorts under my robe wtf (aiya under robe also cannot see mah, but i wore properly for my top lah) and it was also a fucking windy day that day. my photos looked like soft porn with all those leg flesh poking out through the robe -____-” lesson learnt: never ever be too bo chup on your graduation day

  6. 6
    Xiang Yun says:

    Incredibly beautiful post and I don’t just mean the pictures. Your words about your best friend and I really relate to the reality of the distance between two friends as I have not seen my best friend 15 years in almost seven years :/
    All the best for the future and don’t forget us little blog readers! :)

  7. 7
    Paully says:

    Hey there, its my first time posting!

    Congrats on your graduation. Just like Samantha (post #1), I felt that I had to comment on this because the last part of the post made very emotional:

    “Goodbyes are painful, and it’s worse when people make empty promises to each other. “I’m sure I’ll see you again” “I’ll come visit!” but I kept telling them “no, you won’t.” Let’s face it, we live on completely different sides of the world, and I rather face reality and bid a proper farewell than keep my hopes up.”

    It is exactly what I have should have done before leaving my highschool. Rather, now I feel like I’m the only one “stuck” and falsely believing that my close friend will someday contact me. It seems to me that everyone else has moved on which is really depressing for me. I always ask myself “What happened when you said: “Let’s keep in touch and if there’s anything, you can always find me”?”

    Oh well….anyway congrats again on your graduation and your amazing will to contribute to the Malaysian society!

  8. 8
    yumii says:

    i sobbed!!!! i wish all your dreams come true! ^^

  9. 9
    valerie says:

    goosebumps :’)

  10. 10
    GIn says:

    EH WHERE CAN SCORE 99% for not complete objective base exam wan!!! CIS

    lecturers here were proclaiming how they wouldnt even give it to themselves and the top score also like 85 or some crap like that!!

    CIS. i osowan 99%!!!!.

    WTF

  11. 11
    Lynn says:

    Yes you should blog more frequent! :) ) Just like what you did last time. For the past few months it’s kinda saddening each time I came up here with disappointment, because there is no new posts. :’(

    Goodbyes are hard but at least feeling thankful that you had a very very good true friend throughout the 4 years uni life. We might have a lot of friends, but it’s never easy to have someone unds you so well and true to you. :)

    Congrates on your graduation and all the best for your future endeavours! :)

  12. 12
    Grace says:

    Congratulations Suet! Your pictures are beautiful and you look great in every photo. Will you miss the seasons here? I think it’s super hot in Malaysia right now right? I graduated last year but I’m *still* in the US T_T

  13. 13
    Goingkookies says:

    Your part of friendship is so true.. cos that’s how I felt when I left Malaysia for Melbourne… =( but at least u have good friends waiting for u back home.. =)

  14. 14
    Erlinda says:

    congrats my favourite blogger. wow! i’ve been following u since u were a student till u have graduated. what an achievement! :P All the best to u! :D

  15. 15
    Silent reader says:

    I love your last few paragraphs. Sad, yet true. :( I often look back at a certain period of life when I was so close to someone (like you and shanshan), and wonder how we ever got to this stage now where we are almost like strangers with just the superficial ‘hellos’ and ‘byes’. But then again, I guess we move on, life moves on, and we create new memories with different people, different places. Anyway what i meant to say was all the best! (: i will keep reading if you keep writing!

  16. 16

    I am a Malaysian living in the U.S. and my friend told me about your blog. You remind me of Cecelia Cheung! VERY PRETTY. Congrats on graduation. :)

  17. 17
    miemiemie says:

    aww congratulations! welcome to the real world now! haha i miss school

  18. 18
    Ohitstanya says:

    Awwww.. This is such a meaningful post suet! <3..
    Reminds me so much of my best friend who moved in the U.S. 4 years ago. :( Sad that she left but for 4 years we are still best friends. We communicate regularly but yeah :3. Anyways, cheers suet ! COngratulations..

    I am looking forward for your new blog posts!
    xx

  19. 19
    fish fish says:

    Congratulations, Suet Li. I’m sure you and Shan Shan will meet again.

  20. 20
    ccc says:

    true. some friends i haven’t seen for more than 10 years. the time i meet them again the feeling is probably different.

    ps:sweatlee, tried to add you on facebook!

  21. 21
    Mizzy says:

    I get what you mean about feeling weird after graduating and going back home for good.

    I graduated 2 years ago after studying overseas and I still feel that I may be leaving my loved ones and home to overseas again 0__o

  22. 22
    Francesca says:

    congratulation, Suet Li!
    Looked like a wonderful day, it makes me smile and I can almost feel it how proud is your parents from this blog.

  23. 23
    Rachelle says:

    Belated Congradulations! :D

    Aw your last few paragraphs made me tear up :( because as sad as it is, it’s very true.

    But there’s a silver lining! I’ve found that despite being away from your best friend for ages at a time, the moment you guys meet up, it’s like you never parted in the first place. :) You just pick up where you left.

  24. 24
    sherylee says:

    Congratulations on graduating! I’ve lurked here for awhile but wanted to ask you where you got your gorgeous heels from?

  25. 25
    Tarmizi says:

    12481 shots with same pose? Wtf…
    Lol

  26. 26
    ohiit says:

    Your quote: “Goodbyes are painful because it takes years to build a strong friendship, and no matter how much you say you’ll keep in touch, things will be very different when you are not physically close to each other.”

    DAMN RIGHT!! Your fault for making me reminiscence those days!! But before I forget I wanna tell you 3 things that will sum up your life “1.JUST 2.MOVE 3.ON”

    Cheerios!!

  27. 27
    Jay says:

    If its really that good a friendship, even if you didn’t do anything, it’d still feel the same years later as if you’ve never parted. And if it’s that good a friendship, you’d make the effort to meet!

    Im from UK & met one of my best friend’s in Japan who’s Aussie, can’t be much further apart really! But we’ve kept the honest relationship going and since saying our goodbye 3 years ago, we’ve managed to caught up quite a few times here, Paris and I flew out to her too!

    xx

  28. 28

    I really like your writing style, superb info , thankyou for posting : D.

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