Hardcore nerdy Suet mode on.

But wait.


Introducing the new addition to my life: Doggie

Doggie doesn’t have a proper name because his owner is uncreative and too lazy to think of a name. Doggie likes to lick people. Doggie is always smiling. Doggie is the best doggie in the world.

(oh god. It’s Dec 12, 2010. How time has changed.)

This entry was posted in College.

FML trash story #185

So I have renounced my partying habits for a month or so now and I suddenly don’t feel like going back to that lifestyle anymore. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I’m pretty much done with my college life, pretty much sick and tired of the same scandalous shenanigans of women making out with each other, too much booze and dancing with the same people every single time.

It gets old. Girls thinking that they are straight but then you see them with their clothes off macking some classmate of theirs only to sober up the next day and realize that they are fucked cause now they have to face that said classmate and pretend that they’re gay. And then you have the true blue actually straight girls, randomly slutting up to and sleeping with anyone with a certain overglorified sexual anatomy that is disgustingly perpetually hard and dripping.

And who said college was fun again? American college parties are the most overrated and overhyped phenomenon I have ever encountered, and I have the rights to say that because I have been to aplenty.

Anyway the point of this is not to be all angsty about college parties, but to provide the backdrop and context to this story I’m about to tell you.

So it’s a regular Saturday night and I’m down with cold. Friends asked me to join them in this big party on campus, to which I politely declined because 1. I’m done with partying, at least for now, 2. I’m sick, and 3. I have better things to do like write my long overdue paper while listening to justin bieber. just sayin’

I realized around 1 am that I forgot to do my trash duties for today (for the uninformed, I work as a trash collector wtf) so I put on my trash outfit and went to collect them filthy trash. Ladeedum minding my own business working my ass off to pay my college loan lalala. Then when I was tying one of the bags up, someone came and asked if she could throw her trash. Obviously, this kind trash collector said “Go ahead dearie, throw all your trash out. There you go, throw them alllll out and feel better”.

To my utmost dismay, guess what came out of that unassuming black plastic bin.

I’ll give you a hint. It starts with V and ends with OMIT.

I cannot begin to describe how low my heart sank upon seeing that torrential downpour of intestinal juice and someone’s dinner and the 23410 litres of alcohol she irresponsibly drank and thought she could take BUT OBVIOUSLY SHE COULDN’T AND LOOK WHO HAS TO CLEAN UP AFTER HER FUCKING MESS I FUCKING HATE COLLEGE STUDENTS

Upon seeing that I immediately stopped breathing but it took a few milliseconds for my olfactory organ to receive the memo from my panicky brain and I accidentally took a whiff of it T_____________T Woe is me.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, I forgot my Ipod today and I heard some people going “Eww! OMG” while throwing a disgust look at me….

I mean by now I’m pretty used to disgust looks (trust me I’m surprised at how often I get this too) but I’ve never actually heard people EWW-ing at me since I have my Ipod on most of the time. Hmm this makes me wonder how often do people actually EWW aloud at me.

And the weird thing is, I felt no emotions when all this happened. I’m completely desensitized by now so I really don’t see what the big deal about collecting trash is. Am I really that much of a loser who deserved to be EWW-ed at? I’m doing well academically, my GPA is 3.92, I have an amazing life with people who love me and I’m working so I don’t have to ask my parents for cash, so who are these people to make me doubt my self-values and integrity?

So I’m collecting trash on a Saturday night when everyone is out partying their lives away, how come I don’t see the problem? Should this be a problem in the first place?

Eww eww eww, eww your face lah eww wtf

That’s it, this is the end of my trash story for today. Thank you for tuning in wtf

Struck with Senioritis

Today is Doomsday, for I have finally conceded to my fate and accepted the fact that I’m down with a terrible case of Senioritis. Senioritis is a term used to describe seniors in their last year of high school/college who grow complacent and couldn’t care less about schoolwork anymore. C’est moi.

I just came back from a wonderful Thanksgiving break and have been dreading starting on my schoolwork. I have quite a lot of shit to do, but the negative repercussions from not completing them shits are not registering into my head right now. All I could think of is WINTER BREAK and WARM MALAYSIAN WEATHER and FOOD and LOTSA LOVE, not papers and exams and studying.

HOW! Snap me awake! It’s just three short weeks to go actually, three weeks of writing two papers and taking one exam, that’s it! That’s not hard at all compared to what I’ve gone through my previous years. I remember last semester, all that flurry of 4 papers and 2 exams and a presentation in two weeks, and all that panicking over looking for an internship.


I must be the ONLY senior who is still happily whistling and frolicking around despite knowing that I will graduate without a job or two in hand. And is it strange that I…couldn’t..care…less?

What has happened to me my dear mother god amitabha?!  What happened to my drive and passion to succeed in life, my ambitious career goals to be a strong-headed business-suit wearing woman? Haha who am I kidding, I never wanted to be one of them in the first place. But still, I cannot sit down here everyday and munch on my bite-sized honey graham teddy bear cookies pretending like the real world is not really a big deal and that I can take it without preparing for it.

While the entire graduating class is mucking over their almost-perfect CVs and pulling their hair out in agony applying to graduate schools, I’m here wondering what should be my first meal upon arriving at home. I’m an utter disgrace to mankind, and people should just crucify me along with all the other complacent underachievers.

Ok great I just wasted 30 minutes of my life calculating my GPA in the unfortunate events of (godforbid) me getting all Bs this semester. I can’t believe I’ve resorted to such kiasu means to placate myself and to reassure myself that I have room to slack. Well truth is, I DO have room to slack.

But how oh how do I break away from my extreme lack of motivation! I should be looking for a job, or planning for my grand career plans after graduation, or do something meaningful before I venture into the big scary world, not sloth around all day!

Damn, I must say, writing this entry has taken up all my energy for today wtf

*reaches for my pack of bite-sized honey graham teddy bear cookies wtf

Falling for fall

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of turbulent emotions for me. I should have learned my lesson by now, to always listen to my head and not anything else. Have you ever felt like you wake up knowing exactly what is right or wrong and what you should do, but godammit you just fail every single time?

And fail I did, everyday.

Everyday brings forth another set of unnecessary drama with much pain and confusion, all inflicted by me to people who never once asked for it. I watch as my life (and the life of others) fall apart right before my eyes but I tell myself, that tomorrow will be different. Tomorrow I will be a better person, and hopefully I will be strong enough to make the right decisions.

But tomorrow never comes.

Have I ever told you what I want to do in my ideal world in the future? I want to open a preschool someday. I want to change the learning landscape in Malaysia. I want to dream big and pray for a change in how education is perceived. I want to be someone useful, a true contributing member of the society. I want to know that there exists a reason for my existence, however small the reason may be.

And most importantly, I want to go back home and be part of the change. I have always been naive and idealistic, but if idealism is the sole driver of my passion to change things for people who matter to me, for my own kin and countrymen, then I hope with all my heart and soul that I will never have a change in heart.

It’s almost the end of fall here, and seasonal change makes me extremely broody and melancholic. I sit on the steps outside my dorm everyday thinking about the person I once was and the person I have and will become. I think of it so much that that old Suet seems further and further out of reach these days. The only sliver of thread preventing it from escaping my loosening grasp is this familiar environment I have been in for years.

I have a sinking feeling that once I close this chapter of my life, I will become a completely unrecognizable person at the far far end of the spectrum.

And to be honest? I can’t wait till that day comes.

The other day I was late for class and as I was trying to locate my bike, I realized that someone had stolen it. It was upsetting for a while, not because I’d lost something of value but because now I have to walk to a class that I was already late for.

I think to myself now, a week after I last saw my bike, that how things like that hardly upset me anymore. If someone finds it so easy to take something that does not belong to her, then so be it. I just wish she’d return my bike lock. It has stars and hearts and flowers instead of the usual numbers as combinations.

I realized while having my lunch by the lake that I may never return to this beautiful campus again after I graduate. An immediate sense of relief swept over me, followed by a momentary burst of happiness and excitement laced with thoughts of finally venturing into the real world. As I took another bite of my salad, the feelings quickly changed into sadness and despair. After all, I did spend four years here, four years of my first glimpse of adulthood.

As much as I bitch about this place I fondly call the shithole, it does have its moments. It’s where I finally learned to not take education for granted and to view it as a lifelong process of searching and finding and never actually finding anything but it’s the means to the end that matter most. It’s also the backdrop and/or catalyst to most of my eventful soul-searching process.

I guess I am falling for this place, albeit a little too late.

I feel weird asking this, but have you ever felt like you are constantly going to trip and fall flat on your face? I think about it all the time, to the point that the thought of me falling (everywhere, while walking to my table, while getting down from a bus, while shopping) has invaded so much of my private thoughts these days.

“What should I eat for lunch? Mm that looks good, but seems fattening -OH SHIT I AM SO GOING TO TRIP- but I deserve something nice cause I just finished an exam -I AM GOING TO FALL NOW I TELL YOU- ok set I’m ordering that -I AM GOING TO FALL FLAT AND EVERYONE WILL LAUGH AT ME AND IT’LL HURT SO MUCH BUT I’LL TRY MY VERY BEST TO LAUGH IT OFF-”

Here is the funny part. As fate would have it, I have never fallen once. Not even a slight trip, or a slight misstep that might cause a stumble or two, zilch nada. On a normal day, thoughts of me falling invade my mind at least three times a day. On a bad day maybe as much as ten times. On an exceptionally good day, none.

It’s driving me crazy! I’ve gotten to the point that I’m now trying to accidentally fall in an obscure empty place and then try to trick my subconscious into believing that that fall was completely accidental and that I did not will myself into falling and then, maybe, maybe I will stop feeling like I will fall all over the place.

I think something is wrong with me.

You know how sometimes when you’re walking down the street and you try to plan your steps according to how many crunchy dead leaves you can step on? Fall is a great time for all you crunchy-leaves-stepper you. The satisfaction of having your foot crush the already dead leaf to death, the pleasant crackling sound as music to your ears, the trail of unrecognizable bits and pieces of a leaf that had once lived a fruitful life you leave behind.

Fall, it is truly my favorite season of the year.

Boston galore

I was in Boston last weekend! Boston is my favorite city in the US (I’ve actually only been to 3 cities here haha) cause it’s big enough and yet small and cozy too. It’s a very educated, somewhat artsy town and I love it 🙂

Harvard Square. I spent most of my time in Cambridge actually, just walking around the quaint stores, people-watching, sightseeing with Carol and her friends. It was fun!

I love my new hearts tights from Primark! Only 2 pounds ^_^

Outfit picture cause I’m vain like that

Don’t you just loveee Fall weather? New England fall is the best time of the year 😀

Eating the best frozen yoghurt in town!

Freshmen dining hall in Harvard. So Hogwarts-looking! Well apparently it’s inspired by Oxford’s dining hall which was where Harry Porter was filmed!

Walking around the best university in the world. All pictures are taken with Iphone 4!

Front facing camera IS THE SHIZNIT

If only the quality is better..

Went to the best pastry shop ever! It’s called Mike’s Pastry and it’s in Little Italy. Super packed


This is called a lobstertail and it’s also VERY VERY GOOD! it’s like cream puff but ten times the size wtf. It’s also about 500 calories wtf

Since we’re on the topic of food, I cooked dinner! Simple soy chicken with ginger and chinese omelette! Yums.

Random picture of me in a Totoro cap. I love Totoro if you don’t know what that is you should go watch the movie now! It’s my favorite feel good animation ever, even better than Up ^_^


Sigh Fall, can you please not be so pretty? It’s the hardest thing for me to leave my college years behind.

Oh lookie, it matches my new hair!

I look like a boy, but a handsome one WTF

wait till I style it! it’ll melt alllll the girls’ hearts and I’ll have a line of girls swooning over me wtf

The end.

I’m very not busy now but I haven’t been blogging because I’ve been watching ten episodes of Weeds a day wtf. It’s quite a good tv show but don’t start or you’ll get hooked too.

I’ve somewhat thought about what I want to do after I graduate and I’m really excited about it! Will write an elaborate entry about it later when I’m done being a sloth..

My week in pictures

Okay so I’ve been taking quite a fair bit of pictures lately (mostly of myself what else is new haha) so here they are!

Giang and I waiting for the bus to Northampton!

It was one of those realllly nice sunny days! We can has happy 😀

Random outfit picture when the weather got a little colder so I had to layer up

Giang did my nails the other day with a SPONGE! It’s a really cool trick

So basically what you do is you apply two glitter nail colors (she did purple and clear for me)

And then you just sponge it on! Soooo easy. Even someone who’s really bad at manicures like me can do it!

Tada! So pretty!! I’ve always wondered how they do nails like these! Now you know the secret too 🙂

I can has a (white) blackberry! Got this back in Malaysia and now I’m a happy Berry user ^_^

Poser-moser with Lali’s hardcore alligator ring

Random photobooth picture


More random pictures with Tanya too, my other roommate!

Got new scarf from H&M! Actually Lali got this for me for my birthday ♥ ♥ (I look soooo girly btw)

I superrrr duper love it!

She also got me this scarf and the beanie! Now I can be all warm and fuzzy for winter. I’ve never worn a beanie before and everytime I wear it I feel like I look soooo weird! But it’s good for bad hair days I guess..

Hehe I got this bike lock for my bicycle. It’s clearly a kid’s bike lock but I got it cause it’s only $5 where else a normal lock costs $10!! look at the combination hahaha damn cute


guess what! My birthday is in 2 days! Wow, I’m turning 22…..Time really flies. And I’m graduating in May next year! How scary!

We’re throwing a hugeee party cause Giang and Tanya’s birthday is on the 25th while mine is on the 24th! what a coincidence, and we’re all turning 22!

Life is pretty alright these days. I’m only taking three classes since I overloaded last two years so this year I can just take it easy. I really want to take it easy, but a part of me also wants to do more things since this is my last year as a student so I should take as many classes as I can! But I’m so kiasu cause I want to maintain my GPA so don’t want to hurt it by taking irrelevant classes..

P.S: By the way, I’m working on a major research paper on the benefits of internships on improving professional skills so I really need all your help! I just need you to fill out this super short survey here: http://j.mp/bxjey7

I know most of you are students/have been students and will have plenty of things to contribute to my research! The survey will only take 5 minutes of your life. You can do this on your laptop while you’re eating, while you’re watching Family Guy, while you’re on the throne, while you’re partying (oh you don’t know? doing surveys with a beer in your hand is the new cool thing to do wtf).

Just to give you a context on how important this research will be: the results of this study will be used to seriously consider the internship environment in Malaysia and to find ways to improve it. I’ve coordinated with a firm back home to utilize the results of the survey so this research can definitely go towards helping improve internships in the country. So your help will be greatly appreciated!

Survey here again:  http://j.mp/bxjey7

Thankiu very much. I will belanja virtual nasi lemak.

Spring Weekend

Hello! Ok this will be a really vain post so bear with it. Why am I so vain all the time T__T It’s okay I have a reason to be vain when I’ve been doing crazy amount of work lately *consoles self wtf

I just counted, I’ve written 92 pages of papers so far in this semester *GASPS. That is really a lot of work, like a thesis already! I’m surprised I’m still alive. 15 more pages or so and I’m done for this semester wooooot! Anyway, pictures.

Brace yourself for maximum amount of camwhoring…

Last weekend was Spring Weekend! We had some sort of a carnival here with ice cream and everything 😀

They gave away free bubbles thingy!

Shanshan and I. By the way, shanshan is confirmed coming to Malaysia!!!!! Woot, tourist guide mode on.

Where should I bring her to besides KLCC and Penang and malls and to see waterfall ah? She’s really excited about the waterfall cause she said in China, there are jungles and waterfalls but they’re always packed to the brim cause too many Chinese people hahaha wtf


Things to do before I get to go back home. I already took down THREE post-it notes yays! Ah, the satisfaction of ripping them down as time goes by

PANGY DAY BEST DAY OF THE YEAR!!!!!!! It’s the annual picnic right before the end of the semester. Best day evar cause it’s usually damn warm, people are all really happy and it’s almost the end of the semester.

I love this top from Forever21! Too bad I can’t wear it like this cause stomach too big. Doesn’t look big here cause of the angle don’t be fooled wtf

Oh well I shall be girly then!

After ber-picnic-ing, we went outside to lie on the green cause it was sooooo hot! 31 celcius yo! Everyone was in bikini/naked yo!

Reflection on shanshan’s shades

Got bikini pictures of shanshan but she said cannot post wtf

So hoho, too bad you guys are stuck with just seeing my pictures wtf

You’re right Xiao, I took some pictures with my short hair and I don’t miss my long hair anymore haha! I just wish there’s an option lah for short hair and for long curly hair. Maybe I’ll get those clip-on extensions or something..

Haih the whole world is so busy studying and here I am camwhoring and editing my pictures T___T I’ve done so much work this entire semester let me rest can or not!! wtf so defensive sial

Made the background black and white so I look like I pop out!

I quite like the black and white background thingy!

Put this on lomo setting with meitu xiuxiu 😀

Okay ze end, I shall study now for my finals. I tried making another makeup video but failed T__T So I ended up with just another vlog. Very boring one lah but I’ll post it later since I already made it.

Have a nice day everyone! I know I’ll be having a great day!…not… *nerd mode on

Put your nerd on




ok fine, after I finish stalking people on Facebook..

and doing random stuff like google who diana danielle is (omg she is so freaking pretty???) and sing along to my current favorite song (可惜我是水瓶座 – this girl’s version is awesome)…

and after my mom finishes her updates on the current family drama…

and after …WAIT no,


p.s: isn’t it sad that whenever the weekend approaches, i sigh a sigh of relief and think to myself, “phew, now i finally have time to finish my readings and do my papers and schoolwork”. so this is what my weekends have been deduced to.

This entry was posted in College.

Le soleil

Helloo!!! I’m so excited to blog! Cause I finally found time to sit down and upload pictures and can now post them up 😀

Actually I have a few serious topics to talk about but those can wait cause these pictures ARE SO AWESOME!! Today was crazy warm (31 freaking celcius, like Malaysia ok??) so obviously we couldn’t stay in the room!


me, basking in the sun


me using a Mac, blasphemy!!!

Cool picture I took of shanshan. What can I say, some people are just born with it (referring to both me and her wtf)

We can has happy!!

I can’t believe we waited three years to do this! Too bad it’s going to start raining tomorrow 🙁

I look like a giant hahah

A video of us! First appearance of shanshan in a video wtf


Phew! I’m so glad I get to blog like normal again. Will blog very sporadically from now on cause I have so much work seriously T___T I’ve written about 60+ pages of paper, around 40+ more and I can finally go home!!!

Entry Four

It’s funny how my emotions are so vulnerable to basic uncomplicated events. I was feeling really upset one day because I thought I did badly in a paper and when I found out I got a really good grade for it, I was on cloud nine for days. Then today I felt really confident about some things but they disappointed me and I felt like my life just swiveled down the drain.

It’s funny how I take my academics so seriously, as if they really matter in the real world. I know they don’t. Heck, I’m like the ultimate advocate for not stressing over school work and here I am, le queen of hypocrisy.

It’s funny how optimistic I was about this place, only to realize that nothing has changed to accommodate the new me. I can feel the new me being squished and pushed into the mold once again. Before I can even blink in horror, voila, back to the very beginning.

I have decided what I want in my life. I want to wake up everyday feeling motivated to do things. I want to go about with my daily life feeling really happy to be doing whatever I was doing. Woohoo, waking up at 9am, best part of the day evarrrr! Woohoo, walking to class in the cold, bestest part ever!! Woohoo, doing assignments, SUPER best part ever! Sleeping time, worst part ever cause I can’t do anything 🙁

Woohoo, going to work, super! Woohoo, giving birth, what a joy! Woohoo, breastfeeding, can’t wait! You get my point.

I need some woohoos in my life right now. (not related but you know in The Sims, to Woo Hoo means to have sex wtf so everytime I play the sims, my goal is just to get my sim to woo hoo with another sim WTF but this is not the woo hoo I’m talking about ok)

Shit I wrote too many woo hoos now the word looks very weird to me.

Actually I’m glad I’m back to blogging. It has always been some sort of a therapeutic outlet for me and I actually feel happy I’m talking nonsense again.

I can’t wear my emotions on my sleeve like this and get upset/happy about the littlest things. That’s my goal numero un.

Goal numero deux is to get some freaking exercise before I turn into a slab of gooey fat mud.

Goal numero trois is to NEVER let myself swivel down the drain like before again.

Goal numero quatre is to get out of here and start doing real work so I can have some fun in New York with my good friends.

Le set.