Archive for the ‘Emo T_T Suet’ Category

Back when I was pretty

Friday, November 19th, 2010

Back when I was 17 and had black hair and no make up and was incredibly innocent and didn’t know how to smile, I genuinely thought I could rule the world. Now I can’t even rule myself wtf

Back when I just started college and was all bright-eyed and eager and much much thinner and had just started learning how to flash a non-awkward smile, I could take whatever shit the world wants to throw at me. Now I’m just this sulky emo person constantly getting all gloomy when I think about the impending bleakness that is my future wtf

Back when I enjoyed dolling up and spending hours taking vain shots with equally vain friends and finally thought my smile looked extremely genuine. Now I take vain pictures, look at them and secretly get disappointed at how unflattering they are, and delete them from my camera forever.

sweat-4

Back when I could curl my long pretty locks and wear a bow and not look retarded, I thought I had everything going on for me. Now..well, now..I guess I’ve realized that I’m as flawed as everyone out there, if not more.

When can I ever break out of my emoness??! It’s getting frustrating even for me to keep going on and on about my pathetic existence. Is it just me but did anyone notice how my un-emo entries lack this certain element to it these days? They seem to lack so much soul and identity, like they could have been written by anyone out there. That’s why I stick to being emo, because at least then I know they’re still written by me.

That’s actually just quite sad.

Feel Like Shit Day

Tuesday, October 26th, 2010

I’m having such a terrible day today and I just want to curl up on my bed and cry to sleep..except that I already had 9 hours of sleep so I can’t fall asleep again.

Sometimes I really wonder why I have to work so hard and get so little in return when it’s clearly not worth it at all. Case in point: my trash job. Is sorting through the trash and getting your hands and body so dirty worth whatever meager amount you get? I know I said I really don’t mind doing it because after all it’s an honest living and I don’t have to ask my parents for extra money but on days like today I really just want to puke my guts out, literally.

Maybe today is Let’s Throw ALL the Trash I Have Out Day because today is just…trash-bonanza day. Everyone clearly emptied their rooms out because the trash bins were overflowing with trash! And that’s not the worst part, the absolute worst part is 90% of the trash consisted of food..and not just any food, they were expired, uber gross, rotten food.

with freaking flies and maggots all over.

On days like this I really question my own integrity and principles as a human being. Do I really need to stoop that low to make a decent living? Do I really need to put my hands into that incredibly mangled party of maggots squirming around in glee and flies buzzing around in joy just so I can buy, say, another top from beststoreintheworld Forever 21?

I was alright at first although after I was done with one floor I already had a following of maybe 3,000 flies behind me. But then I got to the second floor, and realized that THIS floor decided that today is Throw Your Grossest Food Out Including Lots of Ketchup Day. By the time I got to the third floor, I had ketchup all over me and was ready to break down and cry my eyes out.

Did my parents pay that much just so I can get myself drenched in sweat and ketchup and flies buzzing around me and probably a maggot or two snugged somewhere I don’t want to know?

When I finally was done with getting all the trash bags out and putting fresh plastic bags in, I realized that at that precise moment in time, THE FUCKING ELEVATOR DECIDED THAT TODAY IT WILL TAKE A REST AND NOT WORK.

I was so close to breaking down at that point you have no freaking idea how hard it was for me to remain my composure and pretend that I’m strong enough to lug NINE extremely heavy and probably bigger than me bags down four flights of stairs.

After I was finally done with everything, I looked at myself in the mirror and I was in such an utter mess that I couldn’t even recognize myself. I still saw flies around me (don’t know if they were imaginary or real, probably the latter) and I swear I felt something wiggling around underneath my shirt.

I then went outside for some fresh air and to think about my life. Yeah, I cleverly decided that this was a good time to actually think about my future and what I want to do and the fact that I should look for a job right now and how my love life is in a bigger mess than my physical self.

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I went back in to shower and realized that my roommate had used my really expensive shower gel yet again. The 150ml bottle cost me $30 (long story short, she herself got it for me without telling me the price until after she got it fml) and I tried to not be petty before but right now all I had in mind was just WTF $30 I need to do 4 hours of trash to buy this bottle so whoever who used it without my permission will face my fists of fury!

Life, you really know when to kick me in the nuts don’t you?

This is why kids, you should study hard and not end up as a trash collector.

Summer wrap-up

Wednesday, September 1st, 2010

After more than a week of avoiding my blog, I finally gathered up enough courage to click on my own link and face it while biting my lower lip in nervousness. What am I going to blog about? Why do I not care about something that was once so important anymore? How do I face my readers who come here everyday hoping that I will finally snap out of it and say something, anything?

Here’s something I want to say. I’m leaving tomorrow and I’m sitting here at 3 o’clock in the morning asking myself “what the hell just happened to my Summer?!”

Really, what the hell happened?

A moment ago everything was all fine and dandy with cherry on top but suddenly my world turned a complete 180 degrees and here I am wondering if anything I’ve done lately will ever be right. Is it ever right to be selfish? Is it ever right to hurt the people you love most? Is it ever right to seek your own happiness at the expense of others’?

Here’s what I learnt this Summer: nothing will ever be right. Some things may appear to be right, but turn out to be wrong to others. Some things may appear to be somewhat right, but once you’ve made the decision you realized that it was the wrongest thing you have ever done. And amongst all those big some things, there’s a tiny something that has no right or wrong. You just have to justify it to yourself and if it seems right to you, then that’s all that matters.

okay so that’s a complete load of bullshit consisting too many some, things, right and wrong. Great, now those words seem weird to me from typing them too many times.

All seriousness aside, I’m actually fine. I think these few months have been an incredible whirlwind of emotional outbursts overload and my blog has been downright depressing and gloomy lately. But today, as I finally sat down in my opened suitcase and began to slowly pack my stuff, I realized that Summer has come and gone and what’s done has been done.

So, how do I do this? How do I transition from a super emo blog post to a (potentially) bimbotic post talking about my biggest dilemma to date?

As I was packing, I realized that I’m in serious 100 ft deep shit. You see, I’m going back to college for my final year (DON’T GET ME STARTED ON THIS. FINAL YEAR ALREADY?!) and by right I should go back with an empty suitcase so I can bring back all the junk I’ve accrued in the past 3 years there. Except….after I finished packing….I found out that…my suitcase is 5kg overweight………….

T____________T

And then began the most painful and heartbreaking moment of my life. It has never been easy packing my entire life into a suitcase, but today it was just a l0t harder than usual.

I did three rounds of eliminations:

first, what I would wear and what I wouldn’t. Next, from the pile of what I would wear, I broke it down to what I would wear in Mount Holyoke (aka tshirts, jeans, hoodies) and what I wouldn’t wear (short skirts, nice dresses). THEN, I broke that final pile to what I would actually wear (without lying to myself) and all the other stuff that I thought I would but never got around to.

I just couldn’t do it. The unwanted piles and piles of clothes were looking at me with big wet eyes, pleading for mercy and screaming in tears. “Is that all we were good for? Were we merely a part of your fleeting Summer flings? After all that we’ve been through it has finally boiled down to this??”

Sometimes, people have to make painful decisions in life. Choosing clothes to bring with you for your final year in college is just another minute part and parcel of life we have to go through. I’ve been strong all along, and I’m sure I can take another small leap of faith and finish what I’ve started. (as you can see, I’ve completely gone off tangent and am no longer talking about my clothes wtf. oh well, I haven’t blogged in years and it’s way too late now to be coherent)

As I sit here in the comfort of the room I share with my sister, I ponder on what it means to me to leave home for one last time. My bags are all packed (with great difficulty), my eyes are teary from fatigue and overwhelming sadness, and..my life has barely just begun.

So if someone asks me how has my Summer been, this is what I will tell them: Summer has been completely life-changing.

Lost treasures

Friday, February 26th, 2010

Today is an adventurous day:

cause we took our first picture together after so long! We both look tired though, after a looong day of classes and doing other tiring things like walking in the rain. Phew.

In case you’re new to my blog, that’s my roommate/best friend in college, shanshan 🙂

We often bond over midnight snacks like eating cookies over the trash can or sharing a bowl of instant noodles. yummm recipe to the freshmen 15 wtf except that we’re juniors and we still eat non stop =__=

Anyway, I’ve been wanting to do something for a while but never really had the time to sit down and really get down to doing it. Today, I finally got everything I needed for a super cheap (almost free) photo montage of all my favourite people/things!

What you need:

Clothes pegs (i got this from the dollar store for $1. I’m le awesome. No, actually dollar stores are les awesomes.)

And pictures! I printed my pictures FOR FREE YEAH YOU HEAR THAT, FREEEEEE!!!! I joined CVS photo membership thingy and got 50 free prints =D The best feeling in the world is to walk into a store, ‘buy’ something and walk out without even paying. Woo hoo! I’m not condoning stealing wtf

Next, just use a cable/string/rope to put these pictures together! I used plastic bag (can you see the clear plastic thingy?) cause I’m too stingy to buy rope wtf.

Tada!!! Super easy!

Cost: $1 <— clothes pegs wtf

Another angle. I put up random stuff too like birthday cards!

This is the one on top of my table. I have a few more right next to my bed so I can see them when I wake up! Pictures of my family, boyfriend, friends, and camwhore pictures of myself in case I wake up and forget how I look like wtf

SO happy ^_^ I enjoyed every moment of putting these pictures together cause it reminded me so much of all the great memories when the pictures were taken ♥

I also accidentally found the fondest memory ever!

Not of myself getting smashed with my own birthday cake lah wtf. This is a book made by my best friends in high school for me before I left for the US!

A book filled with pictures of us in school uniforms, letters from some of my friends and words of encouragement. They told me not to read this until I got on the plane and the moment I started reading it, tears started streaming down my face like there was no tomorrow T____T

I miss you guys 🙁 See you soon, I hope.

Oh well why not. wtf

Five years down the road

Saturday, December 12th, 2009

To be very honest, I don’t even know how to start this post. I don’t know what to write, what I should or should not say, what is right or wrong, what is ok or not ok. All I know is I HAVE to write this post because otherwise I’ll hate myself for a long time to come.

Today is the 12th of December, 2009.

Ever since I came to Hong Kong, so many things have happened that my perceptions and views have all changed drastically. Nudge me and ask me 5 months ago if I was ready to settle with one person for the rest of my life and I would have called you crazy for even asking me that cause YES I AM SO READY TO GET MARRIED AND SETTLE DOWN!!!

In fact, I’ve even been upset at Barry for not mentioning anything about our future together cause I was that ready to just say yes if he had asked for my hand in marriage despite me being only 20 then. Everything seemed so certain then, because I thought no matter what happens, nothing would matter cause I love him very much and love will prevail at the end of the day.

A lot has changed since. Don’t worry everyone (mom, dad, uncle, aunty, friends, family, blog readers – phew so many people I have to consider), we’re still together and we’re still very much in love. Coming to HK might be a mistake, or a blessing in disguise, because although I don’t see my relationship as a fairytale anymore, I’m also no longer as naive as before to think that love is the only thing I need to survive.

There are so many other things in life to look out for. I was so willing to settle for an eternity of domesticity because I thought that was what bliss is. I thought being home the entire day waiting for your loved one is pure happiness. I thought being very dependent on each other is a measurement of how close you are.

I guess I was too blinded with complacence and comfort that I refuse to see the bigger picture. The bigger picture is we are more than just this, more than just Bazsuet. Being together for so long had obviously distorted my perception of how I wanted my life to be. I was no longer as ambitious with my life, because I had found The One and that was all that matters. But what about my own aspirations? Dreams? Can I be my very own person- just Suet?

Call me selfish, but being here opened me up to a lot of opportunities. HK is a city that has so much to offer and once I started opening myself up to all these wonderful possibilities, I find it harder and harder to resist the temptations. Being in a long-term, long-distance relationship during the peak years of my youth has indeed narrowed down a lot of things for me.

I felt like I was thrown into adulthood too fast and do serious stuff like maintaining a serious relationship when I could be doing other more fun stuff. When I first came here, I went all out. I had no control of myself and what I did because I kept this thought with me, the thought that I never had the chance to do all these and now that I’m here I gotta do them all now. And so I did. I had so much fun, more than I’ve ever had in a long long time, so much so that it never crossed my mind that what I did was hurting the one person who love me most.

After 3 months, I finally have had enough fun to last me a lifetime. I’m glad I went all out because I’ve never done so before and no matter how I deny it, it was very very liberating. But it’s time to snap out of it now and pull all my senses back to reality.

In retrospect, I don’t think there was any other way I would have learned from this. I messed up, I fell, I stood back up, brushed the dirt off my knees and now I start over.

Today is the 12th of December, 2009.

Today is a time to reflect on the many reflections I did throughout the past few months. I bet you’re wondering this as much as I’m wondering it myself. So what’s the conclusion? What is the outcome of this overall reflection of the many reflections?

Truth is, I really don’t know. There’s no conclusion and I guess there will never be. But that’s what life is I think. If everything has a clear cut ending, then no one will even bother living their lives cause it’ll be too easy.

Today is a special day because it marks the five years I have been with Barry. Up till recently, the five years have been extremely smooth sailing. We did long distance for 4 years and everyone kept applauding our perseverance but I never felt that it had been very hard. A month ago, things were very rough for us and we almost called it off. Coming to HK changed me, he said. The distance is too hard for me and the future is uncertain, I said.

I was so willing to bid farewell to our past 4 years and 10 months because I was tired of it all. I didn’t know how much longer we have before we can be in the same place again, I was bored of the same guy, and I have my own agendas now. But being his usual self, he held on to whatever sliver of thread and hope left. I’m really glad he did, because I wasn’t thinking straight then and seeing him work so hard slapped me awake.

I have no idea what’s going to happen to us but I know the road is only going to get harder from here. I’m really upset that I almost lost the one thing some people may never find in a few lifetimes, but I will forever cherish the lesson I have learned from it. There are so many expectations for us to not fail and I think it had affected me a lot. I wanted this relationship to be perfect, because I had portrayed it to be that way and my readers tell me that we’ll get married and that we’re an inspiration and I don’t want to upset family and friends who expect us to be together. But we’re just as flawed as everyone else.

So this is no fairytale. There is no “and they live happily ever after”. Well, there might be one, but not without a million hardships in between, under, over, on the sides, on top, and below.

I can’t give you my conclusion on my final reflection of my many life reflections, but I can tell you with 100% certainty the conclusion of what has happened. This semester has indeed changed me to the point that it was proving to be detrimental to my relationship. It challenged my previous belief that we will be together forever without having to work very hard because we love each other very much and that’s all that matters at the end of the day. Nothing lasts forever, especially not something as fragile as this that needs constant care and attention.

This is a long post, but writing it made me realize that I do have a conclusion after all. I do have a “moral lesson of the day” after all. I guess it makes looking at life more optimistic somehow, when you know that everything happens with an accompanying lesson of the day in tow.

So, after 1262 words,

Today is the 12th of December 2009. It is a day worth celebrating because it’s not only my anniversary with my boyfriend but also a day that made me realize how much wiser and more mature I’ve grown as a person. I’ve wished that we had met at later points in our lives when we’re both more stable so there won’t be so many uncertainties about our future, but looking at it now, it’s actually really nice to have someone there growing up with you 🙂

Happy 5 years baby. To all the possibilities and challenges ahead, to all the hugs and kisses, to all the hours spent on Skype and MSN, to all the flights and crossing of timezones, to all the tears and laughter, to all the joy and pain, to all the learning and growing, to us.

I love you.

dsc00104

Can’t wait to see you again!

P.S: 1st year’s post here2nd year3rd year4th year.

P.P.S: First Bazsuet post since September :O Everyone must have thought we have broken up haha!

Bittersweet

Tuesday, September 8th, 2009

I can’t believe it’s only been two weeks and yet it already feels like I’ve been here forever. Not that I’m complaining since I love every bit of my time here but I feel like I’ve been away from Barry for so so so long. We were almost always together the whole of our summer in Malaysia and these two weeks of being apart is honestly very hard for me to take.

When will this endless vicious cycle end?

Being apart, being together, being apart, being together. Missed calls on skype, unanswered hellos on MSN, nights of loneliness, seconds of missing each other, proclamations of love via various electronic gadgets, days of a certain emptiness somewhere deep within, memories of mundane things we often do together, trying to accommodate the 12-hour time difference, getting confused at what day it is on the other side of the world, trying to fall asleep to thoughts of our future together, counting down the days (4 more months=120 days=forever), feeling upset when he’s not there, feeling happy when he’s always there.

Long distance relationships, what is there not to love?

Say you’ll stay forever

Sunday, August 23rd, 2009

Attn: If you joined the Lurve Affair contest or know someone who did, check out the review of the contest live on 8TV! Tune in tomorrow night (25th) at 11.30pm!

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Wow I didn’t realize I haven’t blogged in so long! Ok considerably long seeing that I haven’t been busy at all these past few days. So I’m leaving Malaysia again in three days. I don’t know why but I’m not at all happy about it eventhough I’m going to an entirely different and very new environment. Excited? Not really too. Argh I’ve planned this exchange to Hong Kong since two years ago, how can I not be excited about it now??

Seriously all I want to do is to graduate and to stay here forever T___T Stupid girl! Everyone wishes that they can go back to their college days and here I am wishing the opposite. Truth is I just don’t want to be separated from my boyfriend, family and friends again. Le sigh such is life.

Anyway I’m not in the mood to blog much right now sorry 🙁 I dread going to sleep everyday cause then it’ll be time for me to leave again and the whole LDR cycle starts again. But here are some pictures of what I’ve been up to lately.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is officially the WORST fried rice ever in the history of mankind. The recipe: some meat, some rice, some tomato puree thingy I found in the fridge, an egg and bad cooking skills wtf

The maggi goreng I cooked for Barry was quite amazing though!

Went to Pavilion for lunch the other day. Don’t know what’s wrong with me these days cause I don’t feel like putting makeup anymore *gasps

Lunch at this Italian place called Michelangelo’s which was actually pretty nice.

The set lunch is around RM39.90 and comes with an appetizer, main, dessert and coffee! Quite worth it! The service wasn’t that good though cause this stupid woman who served us was so grumpy to us but was friendly to some angmohs next to us! Like we cannot pay ah wtf

Went to pyramid the next day cause we’re happening and cool like that wtf. Also without makeup that’s why no camwhore shots T_T

These days I feel like putting on makeup is such a waste of time cause I have to remove it later. Also, I feel like the time spent on putting makeup is better spent on seeing my boyfriend cause we’re gonna be separated again T_____T Emo sial

Barry also very emo that’s why he wore all black!

Drove to KL to get my Chinese visa done! Yays now I can go to Shenzhen for cheap clothes and food! Any readers in Hong Kong/Shenzhen/Guangdong/nearby areas, do email me so we can meet up and you can show me around ok!

Going to Sg Wang tomorrow for some last minute shopping! Gah I have to start packing too T_______T I just feel like chopping myself up in pieces and stuffing myself into Barry’s luggage so he can bring me with him. Aww how romantic I can so imagine his happy face upon finding pieces of my chopped body and limbs in his bag wtf

Witch Barry

Wednesday, February 25th, 2009

#7. 25 February 2009

Actually I cheated..this was taken sometime last week but I just saw it and laughed so much again. Hahahha look at him! Doesn’t he look like an old witch who pretends to be super nice but is actually damn wicked inside?? hahahah

He went on another field trip last week and this time, he’s going to Czech, Poland, and Budapest!!!! I’m so freaking jealous ok! Last week he went to Latvia and Switzerland and next next week he’s going to Paris, Belgium and Luxembourg!!! =(( He was at Prague, Czech Republic and he said it’s the nicest place he has even been to!

This LDR sucks x 384928 cause he’s always going to different places so we hardly talk. And everytime he goes somewhere new, he’ll tell me about it and how much he wanted me there and I’ll get super emo =(

Today I’m so emo ok. Emo until want to rip my eyes out and tear all my split ends away. Speaking of split ends I saw one strand of hair that has FIVE split ends today T__T

I tried plucking the ends out but I tried and tried and couldn’t and when I looked up, I realized that I had spent the entire class time doing this T__T And last I heard from my professor was “remember! this will be in the test!” but I totally missed it FML

So where was I ah wtf? oh being emo. yeahhhh so I’m extremely emo lahhhh

ok that’s all bye i’m the most wtf person ever

p.s: because i’m so emo everyone better try to comfort me or i’ll really rip my eyes out! unless if you wanna see that..

EEEYERRRR! apu nene yerrrr WTF

Project 365 and beyond

Thursday, February 19th, 2009

Project 365- take one picture that summarizes your day everyday. 3, 2, 1, go!

#1 : 18th of February 2009

When the snow finally melted, the first patch of green grass emerged and the squirrels came out to play, but someone thought it was funny to let it snow again today. When I thought spring has cometh finally, I came to the realization that nothing will ever go my way when I want it most. So I’m more than ready to alter and reshape and accommodate my expectations now. If spring doesn’t want to come now, then let it be.

Yesterday was a day choked with all kinds of emotions possible. I was excited yet scared at the same time, happy yet worried, anxious yet calm, and super stressed. I think I’m really bad at dealing with stress cause instead of stopping it, I let in engulf me completely and tell me what to do instead. But the best thing about stress is it comes and goes. It doesn’t stay in your head forever, like a toxin that gets washed away in your blood stream after some time.

So today I woke up with a solution to all that stress and instead of spending so much time worrying and thinking about it, I just let my heart tell me what to do and I think it’s the right thing after all.

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On a completely unrelated and un-emo post, I really have to tell you this. Of all the things I’ve learned from living in a dorm community, the knowledge I cherish most is my ability to put an invisible cloak on myself and just pretend I don’t exist- especially when I’m in the communal bathroom. You have no idea how awkward it is to go into the bathroom when you need to take the biggest dump of your life and see people in there too.

So, I have mastered several very high-skilled techniques that I have perfected over the years. Unfortunately, some daft people never seem to master these skills and have left me very very disappointed.

Case in question is this:

So I was taking my shower leisurely, squeezing some shampoo on my hand, singing to myself lalala when suddenly, I heard this hugeeee splash followed by the smelliest stench I’ve ever smelt in my life. Oh noesss it’s the case of the girl who’s shitting but is too dumb to master these techniques!! AND I was trapped cause I was still showering!!!

Technique number 1:

When you know you’re going to take a dump, you must come prepared. First of all, take some toilet paper and throw it into the toilet bowl. I KNOW I’M WASTING TREES but what the heck it’s just two pieces of toilet paper anyway I KNOW THAT IS 1/8418410 of a tree but listen I’m saving you from further embarrassment.

The purpose of the paper is to cushion your erm..excrement/feces/shit wtf when it falls, so as to prevent the huge splash/ugly “doooop” sound wtf hahahah don’t know how to explain lah!

Technique number 2:

You have to be good at physics for this. You must know yourself how big your feces will be exactly, so you know when exactly to push the flush button. When the feces unattaches itself from your erm..lubang anus WTF, you must be quick and agile so you can push the flush immediately (you can practice this by dropping something on your floor and try to hit the floor before it touches, if you hit the floor after the thing falls, you fail. try again next time)

BUT! becareful! If you push it too early, the flush will only serve to disguise the “dooop” sound but your feces won’t be flushed down (unless if it’s a big flush..thingy). Therefore, you must push it right at the moment BEFORE it touches the water so the flush will not only help to disguise the sound, but will also suck your shit in so it won’t stay there in the toilet bowl and stink up the entire bathroom!!!!

I think flushing really works to prevent the smell of the shit to travel around the air and cause further harm to other unsuspecting victims in the bathroom.

Actually that’s all no other techniques. however, if you’re a tree-hugger/environmentalist, you probably won’t want to do this cause it wastes paper and water but pleaseeee, do it when you know someone else is in the bathroom too!

You have no idea how unpleasant my entire showering experience was thanks to the girl who was shitting but was too unskilled in covering the smell/sound of her feces. What made it worse was the fact that today is Suet’s Dirty Hair day so I had to wash my hair = taking more time in the shower = pure uncalled for suffering T_______T

I tried to drown my miseries my using more shampoo to mask the stench but the it was too strong and even defeated the smell of my shampoo T_T

I then tried stuffing my face in the water the entire time but I almost drowned wtf hahahaha FML

Anyway it’s great that you’re taking the biggest shit of your life, really, I’m truly happy for you and you really deserve this big dump after days of constipation but please oh pleaseee spare my life!! Have mercy! Flush your shit down! You can sit there for an entire hour for all I care but please flush everytime you have shit sitting there in the toilet bowl or else it’ll smell really bad!

Maybe I should print this out and paste it on the toilet stalls. Community service, please read this first wtf.

Sad CNY

Monday, January 26th, 2009

Hello!

This year is another year of a sad CNY away from home again. Sigh why can’t my college be in Malaysia!!! This is the time of the year when I get super frustrated and emo about being away. All I want to do now is crawl into my bed and wish I’ll wake up on my bed back home, not here in this strange dorm room.

The semester is starting in 3 days. whoop dee doo.

My roommate is coming back in 2 days but I feel like I’m so used to living in a single already.

I was supposed to look for internships during Jterm but Jterm is now officially over. Sigh how can a girl possibly be burdened by so many responsibilities? Get a part time job to buy my ticket home. Get an internship. Apply for funding for my internship. Decide my major. Decide what I should eat tomorrow. Watch another drama. Sigh.

OK Go is coming to Northampton next month and I think I’ll go see them.

I’m stringing all these irrelevant sentences together in hopes that I’ll sound more elusive. Because I’m an emo girl. Emo people are mysterious like that.

Me being serious with Mission #1

Me talking to my family on the first day of CNY (which is today I think..)

First pic was of my mom and bro, second was of my sis who was showing me the honey star cookies she baked. I was super emo ok cause honey star cookies are my ultimate favorite and my sis is a super good baker and I’m missing all this T_T

Can you see how emo and jealous I looked when she showed me the cookies T_T

I miss my family so much. Me missing them could lead to very hazardous outcome like how I gave all my angpow to my siblings last year T_T. I’ve never been so generous before especially when it comes to money (ESPECIALLY ANGPOW MONEY! I’m very very particular with angpow money one. You know how some kids sometimes forget their angpows cause they are busy playing? This would never happen to me. Even when I was young, I guarded my angpow with my life. I check them 5 times before I throw the envelopes away just in case if they still have money inside. better be safe than sorry).

I guess I just wanted them to know that I feel very sorry that I’m here and not back home with them. They better appreciate my thoughtfulness!! cause when Suet gives her money away it must be a big deal hahah. I’m buying a new oven for my sis with my this year’s angpow money! If my relatives remember to give me my share lah. And if the oven is not too expensive wtf. Must be less than RM166 cause that’s the amount I get every year hahah it never changes one! Despite the inflation my relatives have never increased the angpow money before cis

Anyway to all you people back home, HAPPY CHINESE NIU YEAR (niu, geddit geddit!?!?) and you better appreciate all the visiting and angpow collecting ok??? And the CNY eve dinner omg my fav event. And the cookies!!! and the fireworks!! and all the balik kampung madness! and seeing your grandparents and cute cousins you secretly have crushes on!!

What I’m doing on CNY: nothing.

no..thing..

not..hing..

noth..ing

ok i think you get it wuwuwu

Barry’s CNY gift to me hahahha! He went to this town in Germany and visited this church or something. Then he went back and spent the entire night figuring how to crop me into the picture using paint. And then when I couldn’t go online he got emo and said “but i have something really special to show youuu” and when I came online this was that something special hahahahah stupid baby i love you

Haih Happy CNY again.. *sombre mood returns

Someone as emo as me right now should do nothing the entire night but listen to good charlotte. good ol’ good charlotte shall take my miseries away.