Archive for the ‘Sad Suet’ Category

An uphill battle

Saturday, January 14th, 2012

A short update:

I’ve been having acute abdominal pain for the past two weeks since I moved to my new school. At first I didn’t think much of it since it could be due to the stress of settling in a new place, teaching or maybe the water etc. Saw 4 doctors and they told me it could be gastric/wind so I took lots of gastric medicine. The pain got much worse and some nights, I can’t move at all without cringing in pain. Miraculously, the pain would subside a little in the morning so I’d still teach (thank god).

But on Thursday night, the pain got so bad I can’t even do anything. Can’t breathe, can’t talk, can’t move. On Friday, I drove home (painful drive) and went straight to the hospital since there’s no proper hospital near my school. Saw a gastroenterologist at first cause I thought it had to do with gastric, then he referred me to a gynae cause it could be pelvic infection and finally I was referred to a surgeon cause it could be appendicitis.

The thing is, I’ve had the pain for too long for it to be appendicitis, so no one knows exactly what is wrong. So my surgeon gave me antibiotics and if I don’t get cured completely by Monday, I’ll have to have a surgery done to remove my appendix.

Surgery?? Now?? I am so upset cause I cannot afford to miss any teaching days or my kids would get soooo left behind. My mom was with me but she was more worried about me missing Chinese New Year wtf.

My parents are convinced there’s some black magic stuff and that I’ve been charmed (jampi-ed wtf) and got angry at me for choosing to go to a rural area. My mom called all her aunty friends to collect stories of people getting sick through black magic to scare me wtf. Also, the pain only started when I moved there but why would anyone want to harm a teacher?? They want me to transfer out now 🙁 but no way I’m doing that. I’m sure it’s either just appendicitis or a case of very bad bacterial infection.

Anyway, aside from that I’ve been doing ok. I have so many stories to share! I spoke to this form 5 boy at length the other day and his story is quite eye-opening so I’ll write about that later.

I also kinda broke down for the first time last Friday after my very tough class with my more challenging kids. I taught them a song but only half the class would sing along, the other half was too shy/didn’t want to try. I sang the song to them over and over again, encouraged them, got them to pronounce the syllables etc but nothing worked.

I was also in pain so I can’t project my voice too much, then two boys started punching each other. The other boys immediately rushed to the crime scene, wanting to be part of the action too. I finally got them all settled down, sang the song, and talked to the boys about their conflict.

When I left that class, I felt my tears welled up. I felt like I just wasted these kids’ time because nothing probably went in their tiny cute heads. I had assumed that they could at least sing a song with me, I didn’t plan too much in advance and didn’t take into consideration their lower level compared to other classes. It was entirely my fault that the lesson went haywire.

And the worst part was, I only had 2 minutes to compose myself while I walk to my next class. 2 minutes to change from this distraught teacher to my usual cheery joyful teacher mode.

Life is just beginning to get a lot tougher for Cikgu Suet. But, all izz well.

Last week of Institute

Tuesday, December 20th, 2011

Sorry for the complete lack of updates, the past few weeks have been overwhelmingly crazy! Institute is coming to an end and I’m feeling all kinds of feelings now 🙁 Anyway this is going to be quite a long post on what I’ve been up to to make up for my lack of updates!

Let’s backtrack all the way to where I stopped. Three weeks ago, Kem Skorlah ended very ceremoniously. It was a very exciting but draining week because we were putting in everything we had to make sure the kids got the best out of coming to holiday school, and we slept an average of 3-4 hours every single night. We all had a big goal, 30% improvement in English and Math, and the kids all knew and truly worked hard for it as well.

In Institute, we learned a great deal about investment. Our students have to be invested first before they can achieve success, and we have various strategies on how to make sure the kids know they can, want and will achieve. I think that’s really what’s missing in our schools. Teachers tell us to do well so we can get a good job yadda yadda, but there’s absolutely nothing beyond that. For kids who have families who care about education, you’re all set. But what about the many others who are not as lucky? They get left behind. Nobody tells them that they too can do it, so that’s why investing these kids is so important before we can even begin to change their life trajectories.

A secret trick to get them invested – give them food! Hahaha well not really lah, but making learning fun is definitely a good investment strategy.

Or you could get Deborah Henry to give them certificates! Haha.

To encourage them to speak more, I had an inter-class debate the other day. I gave the kids less than 24 hours to prepare and bear in mind that these are kids who NEVER ever speak English. They took the debate very seriously and all went back to prepare for it. Coincidentally, the media came over that day so they took lots and lots of pictures! The kids were so thrilled and excited to be in the limelight!

After the debate, we had a sharing session and my kids told me that they were really upset because they didn’t think they did well. I was just SO happy that they tried and were so into it despite not knowing how to speak at all, and I practically forced them to speak in front of a huge crowd with reporters and journalists and people from the ministry! Even I would pee in my pants.

We lost and they were disappointed but I was still so very very proud of them *tear. Thank god on that very same day I had to break the news to them, Deborah Henry was observing my class so I got her to give the certificates out. They were starstruck that they got to shake hands with our former Miss Malaysia and forgot all about their loss hehehe

I made a poster on the importance of punctuation! Found the idea online

The big day!!! We gave them a diagnostic on the first day and a final test on the last day to see how much they had improved. Remember, our goal was 30% improvement each.

We didn’t sleep the day before the last day of class cause we were up writing personal letters to all our kids. We want them to know that they can succeed after Kem Skorlah if they remain confident and if they continue believing in themselves.

Revealing the results! 31% increase for Math and 21% for English!!!!!!! We were all extremely proud of them, although they were clearly disappointed that they didn’t get the 30% increase for English. I told them that the 30% is our big ambitious goal and we purposely wanted them to aim high so even if they fall, they wouldn’t fall too far behind.

21% improvement in just 4 weeks, imagine what they can do if they had a year!

I was ecstatic for them! I had 3 kids who got more than 40% improvement, they went from a 40% to 80% in 4 weeks!!! From barely passing to an A!

When I broke the news to them individually, Fadzlan, my cheeky student who got the highest improvement in class was on the brink of tears. He couldn’t believe that he had improved, much less improve that much!!! When I told him that I wanted to call his mother to tell her that I’m extremely proud of his achievement, he couldn’t believe his ears. Seeing the look of pure unadulterated joy on his face made me want to cry so bad as well. He was so happy because he never thought he could do it at first, but when I asked him how he think he did, he was so confident that he did improve because he worked hard for it himself.

This is why I chose to teach, because kids like Fadzlan should be given the opportunity to experience such intense happiness from his own hard work.

We had a class full of crying kids that day. All of them had improved and they couldn’t believe it at all! “Cikgu, saya tak pernah improve langsung! Happy teramat amat lah! Tak pernah rasa saya boleh dapat penaikkan markah!”

It was such an emotional day, seeing their happiness and tears, bidding farewell to them, giving last minute parting advice. We told them that they had gone through enough negativity in their lives. Many people had told them that they cannot do it, that they cannot succeed, but today they really proved everyone wrong. They proved to the rest that if they worked hard and believed in themselves, they CAN achieve, and there’s no such thing as being born smart.

My first group of students, what a sweet memory.

Yay!

Ok I’m done talking about Kem Skorlah but there’s still so much stuff to talk about! Now you can see why I’ve been so busy. The only free time I have these days is spent either sleeping, eating or shitting. Sometimes cannot shit also T__T

This is from Inner Child Night! We spent an entire night playing and relieving all our childhood memories doing face painting, playing Twister, singing and dancing to Backstreet Boys, blowing bubbles!

Playing Pepsi Cola!

Childhood snacks! We even dressed up super kiddishly in our pajamas and were clutching our soft toys all night.

We work extremely hard and play hard as well whenever we could.

We celebrated Christmas yesterday! It was mainly dedicated to our TFM trainers from the states and the UK because they have to spend Xmas away from home this year. I super love my TFM family 🙂

Institute is coming to an end in 3 days, and everyone has been feeling extra melancholic these days because we’ve really bonded and have treated each other like family after 2 whole months of seeing and being with each other 24/7. We’ve seen each other’s smiles, tears, blood (yes) and sweat, we’ve held each other’s hands in challenging times, we’ve pushed each other and supported one another emotionally, and we’ve learned about everyone’s quirks and interests.

We came alone to change the world, and we’re leaving with an incredible network of 49 other similarly idealistic teachers.

I didn’t blog about this cause I was emotionally drained, but I broke down the day before the last day of Kem Skorlah. I didn’t think that I’ve been doing a great job, I thought I didn’t prepare my kids well enough, I thought I had completely wasted their time blabla but I had amazing people to support me and to hold my hand when I cried. I couldn’t have done this without them so thinking about being separated after this really saddens me 🙁

But I know I can do it because I really want all my kids next year to experience the same joy Fadzlan and my kids at Kem Skorlah experienced.

Gotta run now, thanks for reading!

Being a transformational teacher

Thursday, December 1st, 2011

Wow I haven’t blogged in two weeks! I wake up everyday having a million things to blog about but I just can’t muster enough energy to write at the end of the day. Then, the next day comes and I forget what I wanted to say the day before, and the cycle repeats 🙁

So I’ve been doing the same thing for the past three weeks, I’ve been teaching at Kem Skorlah (refer to post below). Next week is our last week there, and then we’ll have two more weeks of training before we get catapulted to our respective schools next year.

We had a meeting with our respective schools next year and I’ll be staying at the teacher’s quarters with my other fellow TFM fellow for the next two years. While it’s good to be a stone throw away from school and only paying next to nothing for housing, it’s scary to live on the school ground as well. It’s like I’ll have to be a teacher 24/7 and can only escape when I go back home once in a few months or something. Also, I know I really wanted something really different that’s why I asked for a rural school, but as it gets closer, it’s scary to know that I’ll REALLY be in a rural area.

The quarters that I’ll be living in is completely unfurnished and the electricity has been cut, and to get the electricity, we’ll have to go to Kuala Pilah which is 1.5 hours away. There’s only one bank and it’s Agro bank. There’s no KFC/McD obviously, no supermarkets (only small kedai runcits), one furniture shop to get our furnitures…and that’s it.

Ok don’t want to think about it. For the kids, for the kids!

That’s my personal mantra for the next two years. When the going gets tough, I’ll just tell myself that I’m doing this for the kids. I’ve already decided that I’m going to invest 90% of my time, energy, and emotions into doing this, and only 10% for everything else in my life. I’ve been finding it terribly hard to balance things outside teaching (personal relationships, friends, family, other interests/hobbies etc), but it’s okay because I have my 90%. I know this thinking is warped, but if I want to do a good job then this is what it takes.

Speaking of doing a good job, we’ve been getting a lot of visitors lately in our classes. From our board of trustees, to the staff members, to our corporate partners, to the media. There’s so much pressure to perform it’s crazy! Good thing is I think all of us are trying really hard and it’s definitely translating to students’ achievements. Bad news is, we’re told that while we’re on the pathway to be an effective teacher, we’re nowhere close to becoming a transformational teacher.

Transformational. Even hearing that word sends shivers down my spine. If it already takes so much to be an effective teacher, how much more does it take to be a transformational teacher? A WHOLE lot more, that’s what.

An effective teacher makes sure her students are on track to finish that academic year, that they’re not left behind academically. A transformational teacher goes beyond that and makes sure her students have completely different life trajectories after being taught by her. She instills in them that they, without her, would be able to believe that they can succeed and will work to succeed even without her help. A transformational teacher expects her students to achieve as much as what she would expect her own children to achieve, she would not accept failures and will have high expectations for her students.

Bear in mind that our students are on average 4-5 years BEHIND their academic year, so we have to catch up with being an effective teacher first before we could go anywhere close to being transformational.

So I’ve been teaching for 3 weeks now and already I’m swamped with so many challenges. I think talking about the challenges itself will take a few posts and I’ll get more into it later. All I can say is, academically, the disparity between our students at Kem Skorlah (and they’re not even in the worst schools, which we’ll be going to next year) and with the urban middle-income students in Klang Valley is HUGE. I saw the detrimental effects of PPMSI on the ground and it’s not pretty at all. It did so much damage to these kids whose basic English literacy skill is almost nonexistent. They fall further and further behind, and from not knowing how to do Math and Science already as it is, now they can’t even understand the questions!

Don’t get me wrong, I agree with having Math and Science in English, but definitely not when around 60-70% of the nation’s population is not even well-versed in English yet. Improve their English first then think about such a huge policy change! It’s not what benefits the Klang Valley middle-income people. I learned Math and Science in Malay and yet I could do well in college after that, and yet I’m positive I can compete with anyone else globally. Why? Because of my level of English. So how do you expect people who don’t know basic English to keep up? I can talk about PPMSI for eternity and don’t get me started on MBMMBI (do we really need such a long acronym?).

Anyway it’s been a long rambly post and I have to get back to my lesson plans. I’m compiling my own “kids say the darnest things” logbook so I can remember all the funny things they say, hopefully I’ll post that soon!

Have a great weekend ahead, and thanks for reading despite me not blogging that often anymore!

Feel Like Shit Day

Tuesday, October 26th, 2010

I’m having such a terrible day today and I just want to curl up on my bed and cry to sleep..except that I already had 9 hours of sleep so I can’t fall asleep again.

Sometimes I really wonder why I have to work so hard and get so little in return when it’s clearly not worth it at all. Case in point: my trash job. Is sorting through the trash and getting your hands and body so dirty worth whatever meager amount you get? I know I said I really don’t mind doing it because after all it’s an honest living and I don’t have to ask my parents for extra money but on days like today I really just want to puke my guts out, literally.

Maybe today is Let’s Throw ALL the Trash I Have Out Day because today is just…trash-bonanza day. Everyone clearly emptied their rooms out because the trash bins were overflowing with trash! And that’s not the worst part, the absolute worst part is 90% of the trash consisted of food..and not just any food, they were expired, uber gross, rotten food.

with freaking flies and maggots all over.

On days like this I really question my own integrity and principles as a human being. Do I really need to stoop that low to make a decent living? Do I really need to put my hands into that incredibly mangled party of maggots squirming around in glee and flies buzzing around in joy just so I can buy, say, another top from beststoreintheworld Forever 21?

I was alright at first although after I was done with one floor I already had a following of maybe 3,000 flies behind me. But then I got to the second floor, and realized that THIS floor decided that today is Throw Your Grossest Food Out Including Lots of Ketchup Day. By the time I got to the third floor, I had ketchup all over me and was ready to break down and cry my eyes out.

Did my parents pay that much just so I can get myself drenched in sweat and ketchup and flies buzzing around me and probably a maggot or two snugged somewhere I don’t want to know?

When I finally was done with getting all the trash bags out and putting fresh plastic bags in, I realized that at that precise moment in time, THE FUCKING ELEVATOR DECIDED THAT TODAY IT WILL TAKE A REST AND NOT WORK.

I was so close to breaking down at that point you have no freaking idea how hard it was for me to remain my composure and pretend that I’m strong enough to lug NINE extremely heavy and probably bigger than me bags down four flights of stairs.

After I was finally done with everything, I looked at myself in the mirror and I was in such an utter mess that I couldn’t even recognize myself. I still saw flies around me (don’t know if they were imaginary or real, probably the latter) and I swear I felt something wiggling around underneath my shirt.

I then went outside for some fresh air and to think about my life. Yeah, I cleverly decided that this was a good time to actually think about my future and what I want to do and the fact that I should look for a job right now and how my love life is in a bigger mess than my physical self.

photo

I went back in to shower and realized that my roommate had used my really expensive shower gel yet again. The 150ml bottle cost me $30 (long story short, she herself got it for me without telling me the price until after she got it fml) and I tried to not be petty before but right now all I had in mind was just WTF $30 I need to do 4 hours of trash to buy this bottle so whoever who used it without my permission will face my fists of fury!

Life, you really know when to kick me in the nuts don’t you?

This is why kids, you should study hard and not end up as a trash collector.

Driven

Friday, August 20th, 2010

So today is the last day of my internship. I know it feels incredibly weird to be so emotional about a job, what more a really short two-month job, but I actually feel so much attachment to it. It’s been a great journey for me so far and I’ll write about it one fine day in the comfort of my dorm room a few weeks/months later I’m sure.

I made a Powerpoint for all my colleagues detailing my internship experience! It’s just a joke because everything we do is in Powerpoint so I thought I should do a farewell letter in ppt too haha

.

🙂

Do you think they’ll offer me a job after this? wtf

What a feeling

Sunday, February 7th, 2010

I’m kind of upset today. I think I’m just upset in general that my lifestyle changed so drastically from being on the move constantly to staying in my room/library all day doing work. I’m actually happy that I’m back to being constantly challenged intellectually and to doing real work but I’m sad that it’s all just work and no play. I want to work hard and play hard you know, but that’s easier said than done.

I haven’t really found anyone who wants that as much as I do. Most of the people I know are just either this or that and I’m finding it increasingly hard to connect with anyone. I’m graduating in 1 year after this semester and I don’t want my reminiscence of my college years be of the memories I spent doing work/watching drama in my room.

I had a talk with my close friend in college today about this and to my chagrin, I found that we’re drifting further apart in ideologies. This saddens me so much, because I had appreciated the friendship very much and I don’t want anything to change just because I have changed. But there’s just so much to compromise now and what tops the list is my happiness.

I’m determined to show myself, and to people that you can play as hard as you study. I’m not having fun at college right now, to be honest. This is not what I had imagined my college life to be. This is not me, and I cannot see myself being repressed further in this stifling environment. It’s not my college, it’s not the people. I can’t pinpoint what is it exactly, everything just seems like it’s in the wrong place right now, especially me.

So, I got an award recently for being in the top 10% in my graduating class and yet I don’t feel anything remotely close to being an accomplished person. I’d rather trade my award for a decent GPA and a social life 🙁

I just want happy memories to remember my college by, happy memories hanging out with friends and happy conversations about everything and nothing. It doesn’t even have to include partying, alcohol and scandalous things like that.

I need to find my niche, and this is not it.

I will wake up happy tomorrow and try harder. I don’t believe that my environment will decisively mold the person that I am. I will not let history repeat itself again and if it even tries to repeat itself, I’ll catch it by its knees and jam them hard into its ass. Let’s see who’s the boss now wtf

T________T

Tuesday, January 26th, 2010

missed my flight back to my college cause of the snow storm T______T

my luck so bad T______T

have to take the earliest flight at 5 am tomorrow T_________T

had to pay for hotel and everything  T______T

sadness kao kao T______T

but at least my hair is fxxxxxing awesome wtf

blessing in disguise is i get another 10 hours with my boyfriend ^_^

when life gives you a snow storm, turn the storm around, smash and compress it into a ball of cold hard snow and throw it back at him!!! ok not funny wtf what about this, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade and drink it and pee it all over flowers as fertilizer WTF barry’s idea not mine….*avoids gaze

Closing another chapter

Monday, December 21st, 2009

So, I guess it’s goodbye now. It’s been a good semester, no wait, it’s been an amazing semester. I almost never believed it when people claim how they had the best time ever in a place/ at a time but I guess the saying IS true, you can really have the best time of your life. I think the main reason why I had such a great time is not only because I’m in the best city in the world, but because I’ve had the bestest of the best companions with me.

I will never ever forget you, Hong Kong. 4am dimsum at Sai Wan, getting lost in the crowd at Mongkok, being enthralled by the lights in Causeway Bay, walking with the rich at Central, partying on the street at Lan Kwai Fong, eating amazing food at Soho, staying at Pokfulam, hiking at Lantau Island, tanning at Repulse Bay, exploring around Cheung Chao, and the list goes on.

Definitely will see you again 🙂

I just need to get over my intense sadness for now, finish packing, say my goodbyes, have a good (but short) night sleep, and off to the airport I go.

Home, here I come 🙂

Farewells

Wednesday, December 16th, 2009

EDIT *added video**

I have a million and one pictures to post! I have an exam tomorrow but here I am, resizing pictures and posting them on facebook and blogging =___= good job good job

Dinner with Kok Yew at this posh Chinese restaurant at IFC! The roast pork tasted extra extra yummy, if only I could afford this everyday *dreamy sigh

Green tea frozen yoghurt with mochi for dessert *salivates at the thought of it

Thanks for the dinner Kok Yew, don’t work too hard ok!

Hotpot dinner with basketball teammates! Last week was just food food and food 🙂

Really expensive teppanyaki dinner with roommate which was sooo worth it cause it was $200 for 5 courses but they gave us so much crap in between!! So happy =D and it was an amazing dinner cause it was just the two of us and they spaced out the serving time between dishes nicely so we had time to talk and bond too 🙂

one fine day when i couldn’t be bothered to do stuff with my hair, so i just tied it up in a bun! simple and easy!

Brain food for my two weeks of exams!

Hehehe let me tell you a cute story!

So one day the guy in the room below us was playing his guitar kinda loudly and we were studying so it got a little distracting. We wrote him a note to tone it down, stick it in a bottle and send it down to him!

Then he stopped playing and we felt bad about it so we sent him another note with some snacks! But after that, he didn’t reply or anything even though we left the bottle there for him to reply 🙁 sad story

so we pulled the bottle back up sadly with tears in our eyes T__T

This was from Saturday! Went to Lamma Island with some friends 😀 Had expensive seafood which wasn’t that worth it wuwu

Final clubbing with my favorite girls on my floor!

From yesterday, final farewell dinner with my closest friends here in HK 🙁

We had wine but I couldn’t finish my glass less I risk turning super duper red 🙁

Then we went up to the Peak but it was too misty and we couldn’t see anything 🙁

The view 🙁

And we felt like some crepes but the shop was closed 🙁

Then we asked a girl to take a picture of us with the University of Hong Kong sign but she took of us, without the full sign 🙁

Undeterred, Maria said we should buy our own ingredients and make our own crepes, which proved to be the best bonding experience we’ve ever had 🙂

Here is Maria, our master chef

Ser Siang, our strawberry slicer extraordinaire

Kevin, our super fast crepe mix, uh, mixer

Koki, our whipcream, uh, whipper

And finally, your resident camwhore wtf

No lah I had the most important and often overlooked task ok! To document everything *smug

I captured the best moment that night! Koki wanted to pour wine into the mix so we can all get drunk, Rex was egging him on and Maria (our mom) was telling him to stop hahaha

We eventually poured wine into the mix later on which turned out to be pretty yummy!!!

Kevin thought the way I cut bananas was funny. No Kev, YOUR FACE is funny wtf *weak retort T__T

video of us!

With my amazing roomie in polaroid 🙂 I ♥ her sosososo much!!

I got the wrong pair of grey lenses! But they still look okay I guess

Finally!! the fruits of our labor!

Yums!

This is really meant to be. I should really make crepe-decorating my profession!

Ser Siang and Kevin got gifts for all of us!!! How sweet T___T Kevin got me a gorillapod, which I’ve been wanting since forever! Now I can take more pictures from every angle possible =D

Ser Siang got me this headband which I’ve been eyeing too! omg they are the best gift-givers ever.

All of us with our gifts! taken with my camera on the gorillapod =D

Maria and her funny eye mask from Kev! hahaha

They are roommates too! We ♥ our roommates

Kev and I, final picture of the great night 🙁

And then we sat down and had emo talk and listened to emo music T___T Bye bye great friends, hopefully we’ll meet again some fine day. If not this lifetime then maybe next lifetime! What if I get reincarnated as an ant and get stepped on before I met you guys wtf

Haih fucking emo I don’t want to leave!!! Leaving here is like waking up from a dream and pulling myself back to reality! But i guess the reality isn’t that bad at all.

I’m going to Dubai for Xmas and New Year cause my dad’s there and we’re going to visit him! Can’t wait =D

Sad Story

Friday, November 13th, 2009

Sorry I keep MIA-ing! I promise I’ll blog properly when I have time so pleaseee don’t forsake me ok. So nothing has been happening lately except the fact that I HAVE CRAZY MOTHERLOAD AMOUNT OF WORK. At least one presentation and one paper/midterm every week until the end of this semester T_______T

Actually I don’t need to work that hard cause my grades won’t transfer and I just need to get C+ but I’m Asian and it’s wrong to just barely pass wtf. I still have so many things I want to do before I leave HK though! Sooo many people I want to meet up with but never got round to doing it (Malaysians in HK, we should meet up soon I promise!). I haven’t gone to Lamma Island yet, I need to go Macau again cause I forgot to eat the Portuguese tart the last time I was there (THE ATROCITY) and I need to eat more!!

I’m going to write a guide to HK sometime when I’m free, just cause Pinkpau’s guide was very helpful when I first got here so I thought I should contribute to the society as well wtf.

Anyway something really really reallyyyyy upsetting happened yesterday. It’s so sad that I still find my eyes get all blurred up  everytime I think about it T__T

So it was Thursday night and Maria my roommate was all pumped up and wanted to go out and all my others friends were trying to talk me into going out. I have a presentation at 9 am the next day so I wasn’t really up for it but I relented and got all dressed up and put make up on. Then when we finally gathered everyone, it was around 12am.

I knew they wouldn’t want to come back until 4am at least and I would die the next day so sadly, I decided not to go and went back to my room.

The thing was, I had awesome makeup on and my outfit was super cute so I wanted to camwhore the night away so I wouldn’t feel so bad about not going out. I came back, charged my camera’s battery to tahap maksimum wtf, then turned it on.

It didn’t work. I just couldn’t turn it on!!!! And the worst part was, it didn’t even freaking try to be turned on!

I would totally feel better if the lens pops out then pops back in, or if it makes some dying gurgling sound wtf but nada, no reactions nothing T_________T

Isn’t that the saddest story you’ve ever heard in at least two of your lifetimes? wuwuwu

pictures21

So in the end I just camwhored with my webcam, which sucks monkey balls

Hahaha I was feeling random, hence the random giraffe and pig nose wtf. (The picture of me holding a placard, my hallmates did that for me! We stick these cards with our names and pictures on our doors. Elves is our floor name. My card fell and refused to stick back up FML)

Anyway that’s it for today folks. I have a sudden obsession with David Bowie now. If there are any Bowie fans here, what’s your favorite song?