305

#TROLOLOL

The other day for April Fools’ Day, I thought I’d trick my kids a little but this trick became quite a lesson-worthy moment!

I told my kids two lies today. Firstly, I have THREE massive pimples on my face (like seriously will eat your face up that kind) and to save myself the embarrassment, I told my kids that I went to see the doctor and he told me that if I get stressed more, more pimples will pop and I will eventually die. “Anyway, the doctor said I have a disease called pimplocitis and if I get angry or raise my voice, I’ll get another pimple and if they finally cover my entire face, I’ll…..die.”
My kids got SO upset omg I feel so bad now. They were seriously well-behaved and kept trying to make me laugh hahahah

But I said all these with a straight face and immediately moved on with the other part. They finished their unit test last week and today I gave them their papers back. I only marked half, and gave them each a friend’s paper and got them to finish marking.

After they’ve totaled the marks, I told them this: guess what? You’ll be getting the marks of the paper you’re holding now! So if the paper you marked got 50%, that’s your mark which I will write in your report card.

I asked them if this arrangement sounds fair, and they immediately shouted no. Asked why, they said because “this is not our paper!!”. I said: “Well because as a class, we must work together as a team. If your friend didn’t do that well, shouldn’t it be your fault for not helping him/her to begin with? Sounds fair to me..”

Their mouths dropped and they couldn’t believe it. Then, out of the kindness of my evil heart, I said, “ok fine. if you’re not happy with it, you can choose to get your own marks, but 5 marks will be deducted from it. You have to make this choice WITHOUT looking at your own marks first and once you made the choice, you can’t go back and take this friend’s marks”

For eg: Syafiq, who is holding Elly’s paper (52%) can choose to take her marks or take the risk (depending on how confident he is of his own paper) and take his own paper back -5 marks.

With this arrangement, half of the kids chose to stick with their friends’ marks while the other half still wanted their papers back. I finally realized the joke is getting too far (though it’s quite a good lesson), and told them if they could give me a good reason for their decision (whatever it is), I’ll grant them their wish.

A girl, full of confidence, said “teacher, I want my own paper because I worked hard for it and I’m confident I did well”. Fair enough, so I gave her her paper back and she got her 80%.

A boy surprised me by saying “teacher I know I did well but I want whoever who has my paper to keep it, we’ll just work harder together next time”. He actually got 85% on his own paper, and the paper he was holding was 52%. T____T

After a while, I decided to just tell them that this is a joke. and that I’m not dying. They laughed and told me their hearts actually stopped beating for a while hahah.

But I’m actually quite serious about the working as a team part and I need my kids to be more confident of themselves!

“So….teacher…can I ask you a question? Are you still…dying?”

#dramaqueen #aprilfools

400

Scary dream of the year

I had the mother of all scary nightmares yesterday, and I know I tend to exaggerate a lot but this is really super scary. When I retold the dream to shanshan, she had goosebumps all over and seriously thought it was very scary, therefore the scariness of my scary dream is validated wtf

So it went like this.

I was in my grandmother’s very old house, and there was this section where there was a huge altar with statues of different gods with scary faces and all these boards with ancestors’ names etc. I think this part is enough to convince you how scary this dream is gonna be haha

So ALL my extended family members were there, all 30+ of us, and we were just chillin’ and talking and being normal. Then I decided to take pictures, so I went around taking pictures. It got really dark then, and I gathered everyone so we can take one big group picture. I fumbled with the flash to make sure it’s turned on (SEE i remember all the details, making it way scarier T_T) and I took a test shot when everyone was still talking.

Then I looked up.

And everyone was gone. Everyone just freaking disappeared!!!!

I was so scared cause it was really dark all over, and so I sat on the sofa shivering and I had my dog with me and he was shivering too. I started shouting for the gods to return my family members back, and my dog started chewing on my arm cause he was scared wtf.

Anyway I decided to look through the pictures I have taken to see if I can find clues on what the hell just happened. First few pictures were fine and everyone was happily talking, and then gradually the pictures started changing OMG RETELLING THIS IS SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF ME I’M ALONE IN MY ROOM

Everyone started getting more and more translucent for some reason, like they’re becoming ghouls? spirits?

And the last picture….the last picture….I can still remember it T_____T

The last picture is of my grandmother being almost 90% translucent and she was flying at me and her face was kinda scared, and like she’s also trying to tell me something.

Then I went on a statue-destroying rampage and started throwing the altars around wtf. There was a mysterious statue of Bruce Lee too, of which I flung out of the house angrily while shouting “Give me my family back!!!”

The end, dog was still chewing on my arm while I was being all king kong with the statues.

Actually now that I retell it, I don’t know why I woke up shivering and breaking out in cold sweat because I kinda seem pretty kickass awesome in the dream.

One girl (and a dog who likes to chew on arm when scared), 30 missing family members, tons of scary gods – coming your way this summer. directed by m. night shyamalan.

256

Struck with Senioritis

Today is Doomsday, for I have finally conceded to my fate and accepted the fact that I’m down with a terrible case of Senioritis. Senioritis is a term used to describe seniors in their last year of high school/college who grow complacent and couldn’t care less about schoolwork anymore. C’est moi.

I just came back from a wonderful Thanksgiving break and have been dreading starting on my schoolwork. I have quite a lot of shit to do, but the negative repercussions from not completing them shits are not registering into my head right now. All I could think of is WINTER BREAK and WARM MALAYSIAN WEATHER and FOOD and LOTSA LOVE, not papers and exams and studying.

HOW! Snap me awake! It’s just three short weeks to go actually, three weeks of writing two papers and taking one exam, that’s it! That’s not hard at all compared to what I’ve gone through my previous years. I remember last semester, all that flurry of 4 papers and 2 exams and a presentation in two weeks, and all that panicking over looking for an internship.

The worst part is, I HAVE NOT STARTED LOOKING FOR A JOB *GASPS FOR DEAR LIFE

I must be the ONLY senior who is still happily whistling and frolicking around despite knowing that I will graduate without a job or two in hand. And is it strange that I…couldn’t..care…less?

What has happened to me my dear mother god amitabha?!  What happened to my drive and passion to succeed in life, my ambitious career goals to be a strong-headed business-suit wearing woman? Haha who am I kidding, I never wanted to be one of them in the first place. But still, I cannot sit down here everyday and munch on my bite-sized honey graham teddy bear cookies pretending like the real world is not really a big deal and that I can take it without preparing for it.

While the entire graduating class is mucking over their almost-perfect CVs and pulling their hair out in agony applying to graduate schools, I’m here wondering what should be my first meal upon arriving at home. I’m an utter disgrace to mankind, and people should just crucify me along with all the other complacent underachievers.

Ok great I just wasted 30 minutes of my life calculating my GPA in the unfortunate events of (godforbid) me getting all Bs this semester. I can’t believe I’ve resorted to such kiasu means to placate myself and to reassure myself that I have room to slack. Well truth is, I DO have room to slack.

But how oh how do I break away from my extreme lack of motivation! I should be looking for a job, or planning for my grand career plans after graduation, or do something meaningful before I venture into the big scary world, not sloth around all day!

Damn, I must say, writing this entry has taken up all my energy for today wtf

*reaches for my pack of bite-sized honey graham teddy bear cookies wtf

574

London bound

I’m going to London for fall break! (leaving day after tomorrow actually!)

Yeap that’s right! Because my schedule is so relaxed this semester, I thought why not take an entire week off although my break is technically only two-day long wtf. It sounds rebellious and all, but in actual fact I’m only skipping a 1-hour Physics class and squash (this might be novel to some people, but we have to take PE classes to graduate here. So you know, it fits into the entire liberal arts thingamajig to make you more well-rounded and all)

My sister is in the UK now so I’m going to meet up with her for her 21st birthday! How exciting :D London is always so cold and wet and windy so I really don’t know how to pack for this trip. I’m tempted to just bring a raincoat and windbreaker wtf but I have neither so I guess flimsy dresses and ten thousand layers of scarves+cardigans+coats it is!

Other than that I really don’t have any updates left. I’ve regressed to my usual Moho self lately and keep giving myself a big heart attack when I accidentally get a glimpse of myself in the mirror wtf. No I’m not even kidding………..I wish I was T___T

So basically this stupid dry weather is giving me a big pain because for some weirdass reason, I keep having pimples sprouting left and right on my face the very day I came back!?!? It ALWAYS happens when I come back lor, and then they never freaking heal. So I have let’s see..5 red dots all over my face. I look like I have a bad case of zit attack, which is actually true..

Sigh. And not to mention it’s getting so cold now I have to resort to wearing jeans and hoodies T___T Technically I can still dress up but I wake up 10 minutes before class and I’ll be lucky if I can even find a decent hoodie in my grogginess. This is also why I never wear makeup anymore. Also why I can’t style my hair and have to pin it back and look like shit.

/end of rant

SERIOUSLY how come I regressed so quickly this time! This is what happens when you go to an all female-college. No one gives two hoots what you look like and you somehow always manage to delude yourself into believing that you look good just the way you are, au naturale, when it’s probably not that true wtf. How oh how did I become this lazy T_T

In my defense, I have very important things to do that keep me awake till the wee hours of the morning, hence my inability to wake up at least 30 mins before class so I can wear nice nice and slab some makeup on and do my hair nice nice. You don’t want to know what important things they are, because they are so mind-blowingly important that you will be so impressed at their importance and may never look at me in the same light again due to this overwhelming aura of intelligence emitting from me wtf.

Truth is, said important things are:

1.) playing Angry Birds on my Ipod touch

2.) oh that’s it wtf

You don’t understand!!!! Angry Birds may seem like a frivolous game for losers, but in actual fact it utilizes the theory of physics, gravity, angular momentum and insert other scientific/smart sounding terms wtf.

Why I spend so much time on it is because I want to get all three stars for every level in every stage but it’s sooo hard! I only wish I have even half that same robust amount of determination when it comes to doing schoolwork wtf.

Say got nothing to blog about but how come I’m always loaded with so much bullshit it’s quite amusing actually haha

Okay that’s all, will blog during my trip (maybe) if not I’ll see you in a week!

p.s: a super talented Korean singer!

670

Story of my life

Today is a sad day for a trash collector. I was out doing my trash as usual, wait before I tell the story let me show you my cool trash collecting outfit hahaha

ok lah not cool also it’s damn loserish with the neon gloves, don’t know why I want to show you guys also wtf

Anyway back to my sad story.

So I was going on my usual rounds collecting trash from every floor. How the trash bins look like:

They’re almost bigger than me and if there is a lot of trash I almost always break my back trying to carry them T_T

ANYWAYYY back to my story.

So I was collecting trash as usual la la la la dee dum *whistles to song on Ipod (yeah I’m a cool trash collector with Ipod ok) and suddenly I felt this sharp pain on my knee when I carried the trash!! So I looked down and I saw blood gushing out of my knee!!!!

Some stupid moron left a broken mirror in the trash………………….

What’s worse is the glass tore open the trash bag and another stupid moron threw a glass of milk so all the milk spilled all over the hallway! Cis bedebah with my bloody knee I had to get the mop and mop the floor too T________T

Such is my pathetic life wtf

On to happier things!

So I got an Ipod touch for my birthday and I’ve been going on an application-download spree lately. I downloaded EVERYthing from homework organizer to games to ebooks to graphing calculators (who knows maybe one day when I’m shopping at Walmart I might need it to graph my utility from buying a certain product and whatever opportunity cost there is wtf).

So obviously I downloaded the most popular game there is which is the Angry Birds game. I got quite hooked on it and decided to splurge and bought the application for $0.99.

And look!!!

Woot!!! Took me two days to get three stars on every stage in Level 1!

It’s my proudest achievement to date T___T Even happier than when I get As on papers wtf

Oh god I’m such a loser. First I had to collect trash and mop the floor, now I’m telling the world how proud I am for getting three stars in a game…..

Random pictures of my week:

Did my own french manicure! Not bad quite nice right? But I got bored and painted the rest of my nails light blue haha

Since you guys like Lali so much, nah here’s a picture of her drawing. She not only DJs, but she draws too. She’s an Art major NOW BACK OFF SHE’S MINE wtf

I love living in an apartment ^_^ makes us feel like a family. I was doing my nails while she’s drawing and Giang was playing online poker with random guys and Tanya was watching some show on her laptop.

Giang and I with indian clay mask that will supposedly work miracles on our faces. Not sure if it works yet..

Speaking of Giang I have to show you something extremely funny!!!

So I came out of the shower and saw her in this compromising position wtf:

So I was like “oh my god Giang you are so lazy! You even tilt your laptop so you could lie down and chat!”

She didn’t reply me so I went, “Giang?…helloooo Giangggg”

and I found her asleep hahahahahhahahaa

with her hand still on the keyboard!!!

HAHAHAHHAHA damn funny and cute

okay that’s all that’s the end of my story about our sad lives T_T

370

Kaboom

Hello, today I got into my first car accident FML

My first accident involving cars and not the usual stationary objects eg pillars and potted plants wtf

I just told this story to 3 other people, and everytime I retell it I feel stupider and stupider cause it’s the stupidest accident story I’ve ever heard in my entire lifetime. And before everyone starts panicking, no I’m totally fine! My limbs are still intact, I have no blood gushing out anywhere and I think I’m psychologically okay wtf.

Actually you have to hear my story first, cause once you hear it you’ll wonder why you bother 1. asking me if I’m okay, and 2. reading such a dimwit’s blog wtf

So this is a highly dramatic version of what happened:

I was cruising along the road at 40km/h at most when I stopped at the traffic light. I forgot to put my gear to neutral, I was trying to pick something up from the floor when my foot accidentally got off the brake and BOOM went the two colliding cars. So it was a very very minor hit but I don’t know why the crash was louder than usual. Anywayyy, this is the stupid part. Are you ready to hear it???

So I didn’t know what to do next but I realized I should probably get my car to stop touching his car so I reversed. (at this point my friends went “AND YOU REVERSED INTO ANOTHER CAR?!” hold your horses my dears, because I’m not thatttt stupid ok.)

The guy pointed to the side, indicating that we should park at the side of the road to check the damages. I nodded vigorously, removed my foot from the brake and FORGOT THAT MY GEAR WAS STILL IN REVERSE.

BOOM went the two colliding cars wtf.

At this point I was ready to just take my shotgun from under my seat and shoot myself right there and then, except that I don’t have a shotgun and I still want to live and have kids wtf

So, all three cars stopped at the side and I got down looking all apologetic and remorseful with big wet eyes. A BIG burly indian guy stepped out from the front car and another BIG chinese guy stepped out of the other car. At this point I really wished I had a shotgun…

They looked at me, looked at their cars and both of them waved their hands and told me to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Am I lucky or what!!!!!!!!!!!

You’ll never ever hear me say this again ever but, thank god I’m a girl and thank god my skirt is quite short today WTF

So the end that’s all. I then went to the petrol station to inspect my car and found out that my hood can’t be closed now T___T and it might cost around RM500 to repair it T_______________T

Maybe I won’t repair it as testament to my utter stupidity so I can see it everyday and question my own existence wtf

Thank you indian dude who has a big Manchester United bumper sticker, sorry I broke your number plate and scratched your car! Thank you chinese dude who although looks scary but is actually very kind-hearted! I’ll repay you guys in another lifetime wtf

The end, for realz.

292

Sabo King

I was stalking random people on Facebook last week when I saw this video by Castrol Malaysia:

It’s about two DJs (DJ Fara and DJ Jane) from Hot FM and One FM who were supposed to interview famous football players because of the football season. They were jealous of each other so they decided to sabotage the other by spiking each other’s drink! Not going to tell you what happened after that cause it’s quite funny hehe

Inspired by this interesting concept, I kepoh kepoh wanted to spoof this video and make my own video of me sabotaging someone very special to me wtf

So without further ado, here’s my video!!!

Did you watch it?? Must watch ok I so susah payah forced Aud to be my victim hahaha. Did you see her face when she got strangled wtf

With my partner in crime. We got soooo many stares while doing this video ok! We were at the Chic pop bazaar so if you saw two crazy girls running around like orang utans trying to sabotage each other, that’s probably us..

It’s not easy to 1. think of what to fight over and 2. think of ways to sabotage such a tiny girl without looking like a big bully wtf
In the end, we settled with fighting over a dress cause we’re both girly like that haha

If you are too free with nothing to do like me, go spoof that video and go sabotage-crazy as well and post your video as a video response like what I did too!

If you are not natural actors (like us wtf although we’re quite lame actors =__=), go watch the other three videos by DJ Fara and DJ Jane on Castrol’s Facebook!

Here are the videos in case you’re too lazy!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JihQjA002R4, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdxEz_EW3cc, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irwwqKh-3yw

But most importantly, remember to watch my video ok!! Who knows maybe while you’re watching it in Starbucks or something, some famous director walks behind you and sees us and thinks we have potential wtf *shameless

575

Gloomy days ahead

#59. 2 May ’09

I cannot believe it’s May already. The sakura flowers are all wilting cause the weather has been wonky lately sigh

#60. 3 May ’09

Room choosing night in my new dorm :D

#61. 4 May ’09

May and I’m still wearing tights. What is this injustice I see?

It’s goddamn May and I’m still wearing a coat!!!!!!!1 STOP toying with my fragile heart like this. One moment it’s 31 celcius, one moment it’s back to 15 celcius.

#62. 5 May ’09

I’m going crazy with the amount of reading and research I have to do for this paper. I can’t wait for everything to be over and done with in exactly..9 days!

Good luck to everyone who has exams as well! I’m going to blog very minimally for the next 9 days (do not tempt me please T_T) so please don’t expect long entertaining posts! You should be entertaining me right now in fact T__T I reallyyyy need all the entertainment in the world.

Please tell me any happy/funny stories! Like Dear Suet Li, today I dreamt of myself swimming in a pool filled with urine. I woke up to find myself soaked in my own pee WTF

or! or!

Dear Suet Li, you are so funny har har har (this will totally make my day wtf)

or you can write me a poem!

pen merah pen biru, you marah i love you! teehee

you think I should stop right here? yeah i think so too wtf

677

April blues

It’s the time of the year again T___T Stress like shit la how how how!!! I have 2 papers due next week (both are like 4 pages each so no problemo), one due week after that but it’s a 15 page paper leh!!!!!!!! HOW?!!?!?, and FOUR final exams!!! Going to die die die die

Following my last year’s strategy of writing a good paper, I shall use the same method again! You see, the key to writing a good paper is to start with a good title (or so I try to delude myself into believing..). Last year I wrote on influence of religions on women’s role in premodern China. This year, for my Chinese Fiction class, I’m writing on..Cultural Revolution and its portrayal in contemporary chinese fiction! but that’s all I’ve thought of so far. I have NO clue on what the pendahuluan, isi or penutup should be T_T But must have faith! I’m sure it’ll come to me later!

#55. 22 April ’09

Saw this cool thingymajig in the library!

#56. 23 April ’09

Today is gym day so off I go.

Squash is my new obsession! It gets crazy addictive

#57. 24 April ’09

This is sooooo funny!!! We went to the kitchen to cook and I saw this on the table and went OMG OMG CONDOM WRAPPER OMG OMG OMG~!!!!!!!! and shanshan freaked out cause I freaked out and we both stood there with our jaws on the ground. We kept saying EWW who would have sex on the table?? EWW EWW! Then we wanted to cook but we couldn’t possibly do so when this was still there so I bravely volunteered to throw it out.

I held it between my thumb and index finger and used my other hand to pinch my nose (i was just being stupid). Then I was quite curious to see what brand that was wtf so I held it up and tried to read what it said.

“FINISHING TOUCH: FLAVOR ENHANCER”

I was gasping cause I thought it was lubricant or something (???) so I went OMG OMG OMG IT’S LUBRICANT OMG again and then shanshan freaked out cause I freaked out.

Then upon closer inspection, I saw tiny words that said:

PLEASE ADD RIGHT BEFORE SERVING

errr..wtf? And then I found out that it was some stupid seasoning for someone’s stupid instant noodle.

=____________=

let’s continue our daily lives now and pretend this didn’t happen wtf

p.s: I’m bingeing on a huge pack of Toblerone that Fish Fish gave to me cause I’m feeling so stressed out from my work (which I haven’t officially started yet whoops). Why does everyone seem to lose weight during exams but me?? I usually eat more when I feel stressed one.