Project 365- take one picture that summarizes your day everyday. 3, 2, 1, go!

#1 : 18th of February 2009

When the snow finally melted, the first patch of green grass emerged and the squirrels came out to play, but someone thought it was funny to let it snow again today. When I thought spring has cometh finally, I came to the realization that nothing will ever go my way when I want it most. So I’m more than ready to alter and reshape and accommodate my expectations now. If spring doesn’t want to come now, then let it be.

Yesterday was a day choked with all kinds of emotions possible. I was excited yet scared at the same time, happy yet worried, anxious yet calm, and super stressed. I think I’m really bad at dealing with stress cause instead of stopping it, I let in engulf me completely and tell me what to do instead. But the best thing about stress is it comes and goes. It doesn’t stay in your head forever, like a toxin that gets washed away in your blood stream after some time.

So today I woke up with a solution to all that stress and instead of spending so much time worrying and thinking about it, I just let my heart tell me what to do and I think it’s the right thing after all.

——–

On a completely unrelated and un-emo post, I really have to tell you this. Of all the things I’ve learned from living in a dorm community, the knowledge I cherish most is my ability to put an invisible cloak on myself and just pretend I don’t exist- especially when I’m in the communal bathroom. You have no idea how awkward it is to go into the bathroom when you need to take the biggest dump of your life and see people in there too.

So, I have mastered several very high-skilled techniques that I have perfected over the years. Unfortunately, some daft people never seem to master these skills and have left me very very disappointed.

Case in question is this:

So I was taking my shower leisurely, squeezing some shampoo on my hand, singing to myself lalala when suddenly, I heard this hugeeee splash followed by the smelliest stench I’ve ever smelt in my life. Oh noesss it’s the case of the girl who’s shitting but is too dumb to master these techniques!! AND I was trapped cause I was still showering!!!

Technique number 1:

When you know you’re going to take a dump, you must come prepared. First of all, take some toilet paper and throw it into the toilet bowl. I KNOW I’M WASTING TREES but what the heck it’s just two pieces of toilet paper anyway I KNOW THAT IS 1/8418410 of a tree but listen I’m saving you from further embarrassment.

The purpose of the paper is to cushion your erm..excrement/feces/shit wtf when it falls, so as to prevent the huge splash/ugly “doooop” sound wtf hahahah don’t know how to explain lah!

Technique number 2:

You have to be good at physics for this. You must know yourself how big your feces will be exactly, so you know when exactly to push the flush button. When the feces unattaches itself from your erm..lubang anus WTF, you must be quick and agile so you can push the flush immediately (you can practice this by dropping something on your floor and try to hit the floor before it touches, if you hit the floor after the thing falls, you fail. try again next time)

BUT! becareful! If you push it too early, the flush will only serve to disguise the “dooop” sound but your feces won’t be flushed down (unless if it’s a big flush..thingy). Therefore, you must push it right at the moment BEFORE it touches the water so the flush will not only help to disguise the sound, but will also suck your shit in so it won’t stay there in the toilet bowl and stink up the entire bathroom!!!!

I think flushing really works to prevent the smell of the shit to travel around the air and cause further harm to other unsuspecting victims in the bathroom.

Actually that’s all no other techniques. however, if you’re a tree-hugger/environmentalist, you probably won’t want to do this cause it wastes paper and water but pleaseeee, do it when you know someone else is in the bathroom too!

You have no idea how unpleasant my entire showering experience was thanks to the girl who was shitting but was too unskilled in covering the smell/sound of her feces. What made it worse was the fact that today is Suet’s Dirty Hair day so I had to wash my hair = taking more time in the shower = pure uncalled for suffering T_______T

I tried to drown my miseries my using more shampoo to mask the stench but the it was too strong and even defeated the smell of my shampoo T_T

I then tried stuffing my face in the water the entire time but I almost drowned wtf hahahaha FML

Anyway it’s great that you’re taking the biggest shit of your life, really, I’m truly happy for you and you really deserve this big dump after days of constipation but please oh pleaseee spare my life!! Have mercy! Flush your shit down! You can sit there for an entire hour for all I care but please flush everytime you have shit sitting there in the toilet bowl or else it’ll smell really bad!

Maybe I should print this out and paste it on the toilet stalls. Community service, please read this first wtf.

I don’t know what to blog about. I think this could be one of the few rare times that I’ve started a post without knowing what I want to talk about.I think that’s cause I’m trying to avoid talking about the one and only thing I have in mind all day long.

Sigh

The only other thing I can talk about is my cooking but I don’t think anyone wants to see pictures of more food..

Sigh

Let me just browse through my camera pictures, post them up and call it a day then.

It snowed again the other day and it was sooo soft

Snow is so pretty before it gets hard and icy and mushy

time to bring out the thick down coat!

The other day a juggler came to our college to perform to us poor students who were here for j-term!

Didn’t have to wear thick coats cause it was like 2 or 3 celcius outside!

Sigh looking at this picture makes me want to be all emo again but I have to refrain! have..to..refrain..from..being..emo..

I think everyone is sick of emo posts anyway! After he left this morning, I kept getting sad whenever I think of us being together all the time T___T My heart aches so much T___T Why do people have to leave their loved ones all the time T__T Who am I going to sing stupid songs with now? Or play territory war with! Or cook and bake with? Or do practically EVERYthing with?

Ok not going to be emo! I’m going to suck it all up like I always did the past few years and live with it. I’m just so tired of being reunited and being separated again and again and again. It’s like you think everything will be fine and dandy now and then poof you wake up alone the next day.

But I guess what matters is at the end of the day, I know despite all that differences in time zones and us being thousands of miles apart, we still think of each other every single second of the day. We might not be together physically but we sure are mentally…. Awww so cheesy but sweet hor wtf

——–

Ok in a pathetic attempt to un-emo myself, let me tell you this story I told Barry last night before we fell asleep.

Back in the days when I was fat (hahaha this is like a legend already), I once told my mom that I was going to go camping. I was about 10 and my mom was pretty reluctant to let me go but she finally did anyway. We went to some jungle and it rained a lot all of the 3 days we were there.

All my clothes were wet and I had no choice but to wear them anyway. So I guess all that dampness caused a lot of friction when I walk, especially when I was kind of fat and my thighs were always rubbing against each other wtf

So it became so bad that I had really bad rashes all over my thighs WTF and I had to walk with my legs apart hahahaha and have to constantly pull my pants away from my skin cause of all that rashes hahahah

Ok so one time, I had to walk from one end of the camping site to the other and had to walk past the main tent where all the teachers were. One teacher saw me walking funnily and out of concern (i guess when you see someone walking like that it’s only normal to be concerned wtf), she asked if I was okay.

I was pretty embarrassed so I had to :

1. try walking faster but the faster I walked, the more it hurt cause more friction WTF

2. pretend everything was ok, smile, and give a friendly wave. “ok cikgu, no problem!”

3. continue pulling my pants away from my skin while walking with legs slightly apart

Yeah I guess it was a pretty big ordeal for a 10 year old to handle that’s why I still remember it now hahaha

Then when I went back, my mom prepared a tub of water with dettol for me to soak in and I found out that I got bitten by a leech…near my..pepet WTF

T_________T

but thank god the leech was nowhere to be found, i think it died from too much blood and just fell down wtf the end

Strange enough, despite all this, I signed up for the next camping eagerly. and the next..and the next. I think from I was 10 to 12 alone, I went to around 8 campings in 8 different jungles all over Malaysia! I guess all that fat thighs and rashes and ok cikgu no problem and leeches only made me of a stronger person wtf

Sigh I miss camping..but I don’t think I’ll ever want to do it again. It was fun as a kid to grow up in an environment where I was constantly pushed beyond my means and tested beyond my limits but as an adult, I wouldn’t want to be pushed like that again. But I don’t know..I might. Maybe someday I’ll get my adventurous mojo back and this blog will be all about hiking and all that jazz wtf. who knows!