Happy picture because this is a happy post!

Happy post because I’m finally leaving tomorrow for Institute (Teach For Malaysia’s training for two months) (back story: I’ll be joining Teach For Malaysia’s first cohort and will be teaching in a rural government school in Negeri Sembilan next year for 2 years)

I’ve been talking and waiting for this day for FIVE months since my graduation, so it feels quite surreal that it’s finally becoming a reality! I just finished packing and it was the hardest packing session I’ve ever done because I cannot bring ANYTHING in my wardrobe T___T

We’re only allowed to wear baju kurung during the formal sessions (7am-9pm everyday), and only trackpants and big t-shirts outside those times. So……yeah…..bye bye pretty dresses, scanty shorts and nice tops for the next 2 months and 2 years. (This is probably my biggest sacrifice )

Trackpants from high school days. For some reason, they’re a lot longer and bigger than I’d remembered them to be, I think I’ve shrunk in height. Honey, I shrunk my legs!

Bye bye, my entire wardrobe. Awesome maxi dress from Vanity Dreams.

Cute stationery, moleskin, Murakami, kindle, Teaching As Leadership textbook – I’m all set and ready for Institute!

This was taken on the way to my future school last week. Very picturesque 2.5 hour ride but I got too carsick to fully appreciate the view. There’s no highway to Simpang Durian, and the entire ride there was through extremely winding roads that have no street lamps. I don’t foresee myself coming back for the next 2 years, bye bye civilization!

Other random pictures from my phone:

Very happy day cause I got Murakami’s latest book! I’ve read all his other books so I was pretty determined to get this one as soon as it came out too. Could have gotten it on my kindle, but I’m a true fan *teary eyes from overwhelming loyalty

Before my haircut a few days ago. I was so tempted to get a super short haircut again, but I’ve waited almost two years for my hair to grow from my previous short boycut so I chickened out

This is all extensions by the way, my hair is not that long

Real hair length

This was taken a while ago while I was still volunteering at the refugee school. I was on a very competitive batu seremban competition with a bunch of 11 year olds. Lost terribly to all of them. The champion of batu seremban in that class was this small Myanmarese boy who was super good!

They were all damn cute, when I was on the verge of losing, everyone kept trying to encourage me. “Teacher, don’t throw so high! Teacher, you can do it!” and when I managed to complete one round, everyone clapped enthusiastically and gave me a “I know you can do it” look T_______T

I love kids so much T____T

We conducted an experiment in class the other day on density columns!

Sorry suddenly jump to a picture of food wtf. This is the making of maggi goreng with luncheon meat

Tastes really good but not as good as mamak standard yet. Need to spend more time standing next to the mamak guy while he cooks so I can steal his skillz

The day I got a pimple so big I almost got swallowed whole by it. Pimple doesn’t look malicious here, but it was so evil that I could hear it plotting for my demise. Popped it THREE times and it finally died a slow painful death. Took 2 weeks to recover. Moral of the story: drink more water

When Angie was here last week! Crashed someone’s birthday party at Kampachi *awkward smile

That’s all, I don’t know when I’ll get to blog again. Do follow my Twitter for more regular updates, especially if you want to know how the training goes and know more about my teacher life!

——

Advertorial

Xplay’s next party is here again! The last parties at KK and Sepang were a blast, so this time Xplay is throwing another big party for Kuching folks at Paragon Club on the 19th of November! The best part of this event is definitely DJ Malika, a super hot DJ from Russia AND my favorite DJs at Zouk, Twilight Actiongirls!

Xplay parties are always free, so get your free passes here! : http://on.fb.me/XPLAY11

As with the previous Xplay parties, all you have to do is follow the Xpax (http://facebook.com/xpaxfb) and U.O.X. (http://facebook.com/uoxfb) Facebook pages for more information on how to register and get your FREE passes! Have fun ya’ll, while I go on a no-partying-sabbatical for the next few years

Guess who was down in KL last weekend!

My favorite Chinese tourist in her super China pose! Angela was in Singapore last weekend and Audrey and I were supposed to head down to see her, but to save more money, she came up to see us instead <3

Angela is Audrey’s soulmate from college, and someone I’ve grown to really love after spending one year in college with her. Angie, Aud and I all went to the same college although I’m 3 years younger than them (doesn’t look like it, I look like I’m the oldest wtf)

We had ramen at this SUPER awesome place in Fahrenheit. Quite expensive though, RM25-ish per bowl.

A very adorable picture of Tim and Aud!

Poor Tim, had to entertain 3 girls in our bimbo talks about hair, makeup and boyfriend problems. He looked like he enjoyed it though wtf. Angie and I stayed over at Tim’s place so we had somewhat a sleepover and talked a lot about our love lives and he listened very attentively and even gave pretty good input wtf.

We spent the ENTIRE night taking pictures. I wish I was kidding when I said the entire night T____T

It was a Saturday night, we all complained that we were too sleepy and tired so we went back at 10.30pm. Upon reaching home, we suddenly regained tremendous amount of energy and proceeded to camwhore for the next 3 hours while Tim cursed away playing his Starcraft.

A million pictures under the cut. Warning: super narcissistic and vain pictures so I’m a bit shy of them wtf

Read the rest of this entry »

Today I realized that I probably need to spring clean my room soon. I’m leaving in a week + and I’m constantly panicking that I will not have time to pack for the next two months. Oh yeah, starting from the end of this month, I’ll be at Genting for my intensive teacher training (I keep getting a :O look whenever I say it’ll be in Genting, but it’s not where the casinos are!).

Ten days….this is crazy. It’s really beginning to dawn upon me that I’m REALLY going to be a teacher in a rural school, that I’m REALLY doing this permanently for the next two years, that I must be REALLY out of my mind. I know I talk about this too much these days but bear with me, I just can’t stop thinking about it!

I mean..I’ve been talking about this for months on end now and everyone around me is quite sick of it too, but it feels so different now that it’s getting so much closer and I’m beginning to slowly start packing my life up for it. I love talking about the fact that I’m doing this, but on days like this when I sit and think about it more, I sometimes feel like my knees start wavering and that I might pee in my pants that all the talk has to translate into action now.

IT’S SO SCARY!!!!!!!!!! BUT I’M SO EXCITED!!!!! BUT SO SCARED!!!!!

Sorry just had to get it out of my system. I’ll probably say the same thing every few days from now on, so pretend you’ve not heard of it before and just layan me ok! It’s just me starting this very foreign journey so out of my comfort zone. It’s like..tasting durian for the first time, so scary but exciting! Or like getting married and having children, or like deciding one day to completely move somewhere far away forever, or like falling in love for the first time, or like getting drunk for the first time, you get the gist.

Most people I talk to don’t understand my fears, cause they think we’re just going to be teachers and how hard can it be right? My mom met a friend during dinner the other day, and she told her that I’m going to be a teacher because “it’s too hard to find another job”. They then proceeded to talk about why it’s a good job not because I’ll be changing lives or making an important impact on the future of tomorrow, but because it’s an “easy job ma! so many days off and get good pension also.”

Why I know this is going to be much harder than just doing what a conventional teacher does (not that that’s not hard already): We are expected to finish our pre-reading of a 300-page book, another 200+ pages of articles on transformational leadership and teaching, and we have to run a community project and write an essay on it, all due BEFORE the training.

After going through 3/4 of the pre-reading, I realized that this is going to be way harder than I’d thought. We’re going to be expected to bring the students in our classrooms (whom I assume will be at least 3 years behind their grade level) up to their respective grade levels. This means we have to make sure that at the end of the year, they would have progressed THREE years from the level they were at in the beginning. This is if they’re only 3 years behind, which I would be very lucky if that’s the case. (context of being 3 years behind: if 13 year olds in my rural school can speak english as well as what’s expected of 10 year olds (can converse in simple English, can write short paragraphs))

It’s intimidating and extremely daunting, but I’ve learned that we have to set very high expectations and goals, and merely going through the syllabus with them is no longer sufficient.

Actually I’m getting a bit rambly, and the content of this post is getting so specific that many people may not be able to relate. But be prepared to read a whole lot of this when I start cause I don’t think I’ll be capable of talking about anything else wtf. Sorry if I’m boring you T__T

On a more personal but very related note, I’ve been an emotional wreck the past month or so. It has started a big grotesque circle of destruction, where I get upset at anything and everything, and I get upset that I’m upset at anything and everything, and THEN I get upset at the fact that I got upset but not do anything about it because I simply can’t control my emotions, repeat cycle of destruction everyday and you get a very drained me.

It’s like I’m PMS-ing every single day of the month of the year.

Why this is related is because if I’m all over the place, if I can’t even keep my emotions in check, how am I going to be able to stand in front of these kids and be a role model?

Umm, maybe I shouldn’t talk about this in public…what if the team reads this and think I’m too unstable for this job wtf

But I’m documenting this, and documenting all my rambly thoughts because I think they’re important. They reflect my exact state of mind prior to my journey, and I want to remember where I started.

I start here, completely scared and nervous, completely uncertain and uncollected, but I know I can do this and I’m determined to progress as much as my students. That’s the spirit….right? *gives self pep talk

In need of more baju kurungs!!!!!!!!!!11

Just realized that I’m leaving in 2.5 weeks and I only have 5 pairs of baju kurung, and we HAVE to wear baju kurung everyday for the next 2 years and 2 months (even during training).

So if you or someone you know have some to give away (ugly also nevermind wtf), please consider giving them to this poor teacher!

Email me at expectationx [at] gmail [dot] com

KTHXBAI

I have so much stuff to read before my training *stress. About 500 pages of pre-reading to do, and reflection essays to write. Will blog soon!

p.s: speaking of clothes, I’m actually really upset that I have to bid farewell to my entire wardrobe for the next few years. Bye bye pretty flowy dresses and skimpy sheer tops and shorts. Hello baju kurungs of every imaginable design and color.

If you’ve been following my blog since I started, you’d know that I’ve always been working random jobs since high school. From my time as a waitress, as an event promoter, as a flyer girl, as a nurse, as a trash collector, to all my many many internships, I’ve amassed quite an eclectic list of working experiences.

I’ve always wanted to talk about how important internships are for my own personal and professional growth but never really got around to it. Prudential approached me recently and told me that they want to create a platform for young adults to share experiences and advice on life. They found that most often than not, formal education does not actually prepare us for life at all. I cannot agree with them more!

So they created a forum for young people like me to contribute and I talked about how internships have prepared me for life after graduation (very happy with the topic ) Do visit this page and like it, and while you’re there, read my super long (but very genuine ok) article and like it too!

Faster read ok I took a lot of time to write it. Actually, that article is akin to my CV except a lot more wordy hahaha. So there you go! my full resume for all to see. Please hire me wtf

(a song to accompany this post:)

It’s a melancholic night in exactly a week after I turned 23 in the company of people I love most. Just a week, but feels like forever ago.

Reading status updates of my eager juniors in college excitedly talking about first days of classes, discussing what to wear to the infamous annual major party, bitching about schoolwork. Graduation was 3 month back, but feels like forever ago.

Saw your face upon arrival, suitcases scattered all over the place, handbag slipping off weak shoulder, you smiled your warm glowing smile. I was so in love, but feels like forever ago.

Drunken night by the lake, throwing pebbles off the dock, freezing my ass off in the company of similarly happy tipsy people, exchanging scandalous stories and ambitious life goals. Can remember vividly how hard I partied but working just as hard in the library the day after, but these memories feel like forever ago.

Eagerly awaiting your Skype calls, sour conversations, dim yellow light by bedside, pouring my entire heart out to a pixelated image on my computer screen, falling asleep and waking up to see that you’ve left. I used to do this everyday, but feels like forever ago.

We used to laugh and love so hard, cry and scream, hurt and be hurt, promise and break promises, smile and hope. We used to be happy, but it all feels like forever ago.

Kept trying, fixing, mending, building and destroying and rebuilding and redestroying. We both knew we couldn’t continue fixing what’s already been broken, but we exhausted ourselves and kept trying anyway. I thought I could fix you, and you me, but we came out of this more damaged than ever. The promises of a better tomorrow still ring in my head, but they feel like forever ago.

Today all the forever agos came to me like rude uninvited interrupting guests, their presence so heavy and yet so unimportant, so abrupt and yet so planned. I was certain that if I stared harder into the distance and pretended that I was no longer thinking about them then they’d leave. They didn’t. Then I stopped trying to pretend, and they left as swiftly as they came.

I’ve had a pretty tough few weeks lately, but I’m quite glad that’s all over now. I’ve been quite emotionally traumatized and upset about several things, so maybe someday I’ll blog about it (but it’ll be a very very vague and cryptic post).

For now, I have some backlogged pictures to post! (especially from my birthdayyy, which will have to wait for another day)

Two weekends ago, I followed a friend to Kuala Kubu Bahru with the EPIC team to help build a house for this orang asli family! I’ve been doing nothing on weekends so I thought I’d better do something productive and not while my life away watching more TV shows and spending more useless hours in the mamak.

I was quite nervous at first cause the last time I really roughed it out was yearsss ago and I’ve been such a girly feminine girl since, how to build house and carry bricks and bathe in rivers?? But I’m really glad that the entire experience was so amazingly positive that I would definitely do it over and over again

The team had been there two weekends prior to this to build the basic structure of the house, so this was what greeted us upon our arrival on Saturday morning!

Ibu Biah’s (not in pic) old collapsing house. She has many daughters, sons and grandkids and the small house is clearer way too dilapidated and small for them.

So we began working!

Our team was tasked with fitting the doors and windows, and because the power drills were not working, we had to manually screw each bolt and screw in. IT WAS TERRIBLE. but not impossible so we screwed and screwed away.

Jason’s an expert at screwing now.

River time! Extremely rewarding 20 minutes.

Back to work we went. We worked from 8am-6pm both days *flexes biceps

The old house and the toilet next to it (the outdoor one with white cloth)

New house! 60% done

Just keep painting, just keep painting

This dog’s name is Chicken!

Tired but happy, I can paint for a living now

Inside, after day 1

Our view from our dorm

Day 2! Break time with ice cream uncle!

I’m also awesome at hammering. Seriously awesome. Awesome giler. Awesome until don’t know what. Too awesome can die. Awesome is my middle name. I’m awesome. Awe-some.

The inside!!!

Almost there!

The back kitchen area

Very proud of the drain Triffany and I painstakingly shoveled in the rain *flexes biceps again

View from the hill behind the house!

Ben drilling with extreme focus and concentration

7 pm, almost thereeee!

Group pictar!

8pm, giving moral support to those who were installing the last panel!

9pm – DONE! Inside the house.

And then we went for dinner, the end wtf.

All in all, it was a very VERYYY tiring weekend, but every single effort, every single sweat drop and aching muscle was completely worth it when we saw the smiles on Ibu Biah and her kids’ faces upon completion of the house. I would never have thought I could ever build anything other than Ikea shelves, what more an actual real house.

EPIC aims to make the world a better place, one home at a time. If you have the time and energy on your hands, do volunteer to help them out but make sure you remain committed! I always believe that the best charity is one that is consistent and not just done on random spurts whenever you feel charitable.

Even if you can’t volunteer, do spread the word and hopefully more people would sponsor such an amazing grassroot initiative!

I was very pleasantly surprised at how amazing the people I’ve worked with that weekend were. Everyone had either a full time job or was studying, but still took time off the entire weekend to slave their asses away. It’s not easy AT ALL to build a house from scratch and it’s great how everyone worked together as a team despite the varying levels of experience and skills. Malaysians are so amazing *tear wtf

———

*Advertorial*

To folks who missed the last XPLAY party at Johor, don’t worry cause there’s another one coming up in October! This one will be way bigger as it features some of the best DJs like Paul Van Dyk, DJ Gluseppe, Terence C, Darkroom Tale and Mister Ariffin.

Details of the party:

: 22 Oct 2011

: 7pm – you want to go back

: At Helipad, Sepang International Circuit

As with the other parties, admission is absolutely free and it’s really easy to get the tickets!

1. For Xpax or UOX members, just have to reload! Register by sending XPLAYPVD to 28881, reload RM50 and you’ll get a voucher for one free ticket!

2. Subscribe to Instanet monthly at RM50/month and win 2 tickets! (while stocks last). More info: www.instanet.com.my

3. If you’re a Celcom Broadband customer, activate Musicube and stand to win 2 tickets! (while stocks last). More info: www.celcom.com.my/broadband

4. Download special XPLAY packages from THE CUBE (www.thecube.my or visit the WAP site at http://m.thecube.my) and stand to win 2 VIP passes.

To East Malaysians, don’t worry if you can’t make this party cause you can still go to the next XPLAY party at Kota Kinabalu! It’ll be at Bed Club, 8th October featuring DJ SHY (she’s super hot)! Entry is also free, just have to go http://on.fb.me/XPLAY11 and register for your free passes!

More info on all XPLAY parties here: http://xpax.com.my/promo_xplayfuture.html

Advertorial

I was invited to XPLAY’s last party at Opera, Sunway Pyramid a few months ago but I couldn’t make it! Apparently it was huge and featured lots of local and international artistes like Funky Kopral, Estranged, Projek Pistol and Wicked Aura, and MC Vibe.

There was also a battle of the bands! (tell you a story, I used to date band guys so I was quite crazy over bands for a while. That was also when I started getting gung ho about learning how to play the drums, started falling in love with local bands (DISAGREE!), started being all hipster..and I also organized a battle of the bands. The story is, I managed to get Dragonred and Disagree to perform for us, FOR FREE. The event was terrible, the bands in the competition were bad, the venue was bad, the crowd was meh..but can you believe it! I damn cool wtf)

Anyway, XPLAY is hosting their next party again but this time it’s going to be at Johor! So for all you southern folks who hate coming to KL, don’t miss this out!

Read the rest of this entry »

I have very exciting news to share! I’m getting married!

Right…wtf. Couldn’t resist hahaha

But this piece of news is actually even more exciting than that! Yesterday, I found out which school I’ll be placed at and which subject I will be teaching!!!!!!

I was in the gym when Shannon from Teach For Malaysia called me, so I said I’ll call her back later. She called back after 5 minutes and said SUET I CAN’T WAIT FOR YOU TO CALL ME BACK, I need to tell you that you’re placed at SMK Teriang Hilir and you’ll be teaching English! Hahahahha she’s sooo cute!

So yes, I will be at Simpang Durian, Jelebu, Negeri Sembilan for the next two years! I specifically told them I want a rural school over an urban school because I thought if I’m trying something so unconventional already as it is, might as well go all out and do something I will never ever get to do again! Live in an area that is so far from home, a part of Malaysia so unlike my comfortable suburbia life.

I don’t think I’d feel right being in my poverty-stricken school dealing with people from low income households, only to drive 15 minutes back to my comfortable home and privileged life after that. I feel like then I wouldn’t get to immerse myself fully in what I’m doing, that there’ll be such a huge disconnect everytime I leave the school and the kids.

I know it does sound quite noble to want to relocate to a very different place and environment for this, but of course I do fear how incredibly challenging it’ll be too. I’ll be around very different people than those I’m used to, doing completely different things and living a vastly different life. Funny how it’s only going to be 2 hours from Klang Valley, but I’m sure it’ll be quite foreign to me. But I’ll always remember that if it’s not challenging then it’s not worth doing!

So, about this place! Some people from the team have visited the school and kept raving to me how beautiful that area is. I google imaged it and true enough!

Credits to Momoc Blog for that picture.

Simpang Durian is actually famous for its durian, which is bad for me cause I LOVE DURIAN TO DEATH. I don’t want to OD on it T___T

And I’ll be teaching English! Quite unexpected actually, I kinda thought I was going to teach Math and Science but it’s a good pleasant surprise still Need to start thinking of creative ways to teach a completely foreign language to these students.

AHGHHH I AM BEYOND EXCITED! (and scared) BUT MORE EXCITED THAN ANYTHING! I can imagine myself going to this place and frantically taking pictures like a tourist already wtf. Actually! my parents want to take a roadtrip there so they can check it out first before I go. Hearing this makes me happy cause it means they’re finally supportive of my teaching job

I really hope I’ll have internet connection still though..I can do without the general comforts of life (okay maybe the much younger me could, but I will learn to adapt..) but I need my internets! Broadband will have to do I guess.

Alright that’s all for now, this weekend I’m following a bunch of EPIC folks to Kuala Kubu Bahru cause they’re building a house for an Orang Asli widow. Thought I’ll try it out so I can get used to rolling my sleeves up and roughing it out wtf. I’ve been such a girly put-makeup-wear-a-dress-girl for so long so I hope I can get used to this fast!

Oh also, Happy Malaysia Day! Spend this weekend wisely