uh oh

there’s been a death in the family. RIP popo :( i couldn’t fly back cause it was going to cost me RM10,000 :( i really wish i could.

and i really HATE family dramas. why do people have to fight? it’s so disrespecting to the person who died isn’t it? as if the death wasn’t sad enough as it is, i have to see my family disintegrate and crumble as words of hate were uttered and thrown. not fun. it really brings out the worst in people.

i wish i was home.

This is where the heart is

I have so many topics I want to talk about that are very very dear to my heart, but I don’t have time how!! In fact, I have TWO papers due on Monday but I have this incredibly strong urge to talk about this today. So, let’s talk about my education. Perhaps many of you who just finished SPM may find this relevant and useful?

So I’ve always been a straight As student. Straight As UPSR, PMR, SPM, and I was in all the clubs in school. I was a super athlete as well so I basically did EVERYthing in high school. So I’m blowing my horn, but you’ll see why this is a necessary part of the story.

After SPM, fully equipped with my excellent results and co-curricular activities, I thought my future was set. The headmistress and teachers in my school told me that I would definitely get a scholarship for sure. I too, was so sure. Then, I applied for every single scholarship out there. JPA, Petronas, Bank Negara, UWC, SC, Sime Darby, you name it, my application was there.

I got called back for most of them, which made me even more confident. I went to all the interviews, and did fairly mediocre I would say. I wasn’t amazing, but I wasn’t bad either that’s for sure. If I have one advice for all you scholarship applicants out there, it’s to JUST TALK. Say whatever seriously, don’t ever stay quiet. There are lots of group discussion and it’s easy to get swallowed by all the other aggressive applicants so remember to just talk although you may not sound as good as them!!

Anyway, then the rejection letters came. JPA, sorry no. Petronas, sorry record number of applicants, no. Bank Negara, sorry not good enough. And they just kept coming.

Never in my life had I ever thought my life would end up that way. I strived so hard in high school with JUST one goal: to get a scholarship. All those memorizing, all those running around being president of this and that, all those hours practicing for my 400m, 800m, basketball, all boiled down to those rejection letters.

It shattered my world. I had no backup plans cause I thought I would be good enough to get ONE scholarship for sure. But alas, I wasn’t. For a while, I was so angry, so full of hatred for the system. I know I was more deserving than a lot others who got it and I was so consumed by my indignation that it took me a while to get back on my feet.

But hopefully if you ever had the misfortune to be in the same place I was, you would learn to not waste so much time being angry. But maybe being angry did fuel me to try harder for other things. Then, I took a few months to find out about studying in America, took my SAT, spent months applying and now I’m here.

True, I have to work so much harder now so I can pay back my parents and pay all the loan I owe this school. True, I don’t have a job waiting for me back home. But hey, I’m in a place that is teaching me much more than just how to excel in exams (some day I HAVE to tell you the beauty of the liberal arts education). I can’t complain much can I?

There is a lesson of the day here, and it’s to not put too much hopes into just one plan. (Bak kata pepatah, don’t put all your eggs into one basket wtf). If they say you’re not good enough, say fuck you and move on to prove them why you are. If I had a chance to redo everything again, I would go down this very same depressing path because it really made me who I am today. Without falling once in a while, I would never feel the need to buck up and to show how strong I can be.

Don’t get me wrong though, I’m not condemning the system (maybe a little..) nor am I saying that people who got it were undeserving. Heck, I know so many people who are scholars who are the most inspiring and intelligent people ever. I’m just saying if you don’t get anything and you know you’re good enough, it’s not the end of the road.

P.S: I applied for an internship with PEMANDU, a unit directly under the Prime Minister’s Department working with the Government Transformation Programme. AND I GOT IT! hooray :D Basically, I will be working with the government and I really can’t wait to do so because :

1. I’m sick and tired of cynics thinking that our country is hopeless and is going to fail. Someone has to be proactive and make a change. I’ll tell you later if working with the government will change my views later. For now, i’m as optimistic and naive as ever.

2. I applied for the education sector, mainly because I want to take my frustrations and anger with the system for not letting me be part of it to another level. I don’t want another great candidate (che wah so perasan) to be turned down by the country anymore. But I can’t deny that making a change will take a long time, not to mention extremely difficult. We’ll see.

Well, it’s been a long entry but this is such an important issue to me and I hope it’s been enlightening somewhat. Now, I shall bid farewell to civilization as I retreat into a 48-hour NO SLEEP REDBULL KAO KAO routine cause I have two papers to finish this weekend FML.

Le soleil

Helloo!!! I’m so excited to blog! Cause I finally found time to sit down and upload pictures and can now post them up :D

Actually I have a few serious topics to talk about but those can wait cause these pictures ARE SO AWESOME!! Today was crazy warm (31 freaking celcius, like Malaysia ok??) so obviously we couldn’t stay in the room!

SO AMAZING!!!

me, basking in the sun

shanshan!

me using a Mac, blasphemy!!!

Cool picture I took of shanshan. What can I say, some people are just born with it (referring to both me and her wtf)

We can has happy!!

I can’t believe we waited three years to do this! Too bad it’s going to start raining tomorrow :(

I look like a giant hahah

A video of us! First appearance of shanshan in a video wtf

green

Phew! I’m so glad I get to blog like normal again. Will blog very sporadically from now on cause I have so much work seriously T___T I’ve written about 60+ pages of paper, around 40+ more and I can finally go home!!!

-

You cannot begin to imagine the weekend I just had. It was extremely mind-blowing in such an amazing way I don’t even know how to describe it in words.

Anyway, just the thought of the sheer amount of work I have to complete for the next 5 weeks is enough to give me the biggest heart attack of my life. BUT good news is, I bought my air ticket home!!!! I’m so happy cause I got a pretty good price and they’re showing Shutter Island and Sherlock Holmes on board!!! Happy cause I’ve been too broke to watch movies these days so I can watch for free now ^_^

I have several extremely crucial topics to talk about but it’s 3.14 am now and I’m dying of brain exhaustion. So here are some pictures for pure entertainment purposes.

Ahak ahak uhuk uhuk

Life is good when you have a nice webcam ♥

shanshan is getting prettier everyday :)

ok bye for now

The new cool: Reebonz

I’m constantly surrounded by people who carry high-end branded goods and could only stare in envy because I can never afford them T___T I remember once I bought an LV bag from a second-hand store for pretty cheap (still no idea if it was real or fake..too cheap to be real but the leather/stitching looks really real!!) and all my friends laughed at me so I never used that bag ever again.

What to do! You know how stingy I am so even if I ever save enough money I don’t think I’ll have the guts to spend them. High-end luxury goods never have sales and even if they do, you’d have to camp in front of the store for days to get it. Seriously, what has the world come to when people have to suffer to give their money away wtf

Anyway, I’ve known about this site for a while but never really got a chance to explore it. Reebonz.com is an exclusive and private members-only website that caters to people whose eyes light up when they see SALES and to those who want to be able to afford luxury goods (aka me).

Their current events: Prada, Fendi and Balenciaga! (QUICK Prada’s ending in 1 hour!)

So how does Reebonz work? It works on an event-to-event basis where they will feature a certain brand for about 2-3 days for members only. You seriously have to be alert and look out for your favorite brands cause they get sold out SO FAST!!!

That’s cause you get to save up to RM500!!! Not only that, you don’t have to camp outside the store and risk contracting cold, don’t have to line up and get pins and needles, heck you don’t even have to step out of your house lah ‘nuff said.

(btw, white Prada wallet *salivates)

I was looking at their past events and saw that they featured some of my favorite brands before!

When I said favorite, it doesn’t mean I own these stuff it just means I want them very badly but cannot afford wtf. I can’t even count with my fingers how many times I’ve stepped into a Bebe store and come out empty handed…

Basically this is how Reebonz works:

You just have to be a member to view these events and the best part is…it’s free T____T tears of joy at anything free

Because you are a reader of my blog which is what makes you super awesome and unique and everything nice, here’s a link to get invited as a member! Alternatively, you can also enter “sweatlee” into the invitation code in Reebonz’s front page at http://www.reebonz.com

Good luck, and happy shopping!

Vlog!

I’m too busy to blog so here’s a video blog for you!

It’s kinda dark and I talked wayyy too much but just watch it anyway lah if you wanna see how I look like in my short hair. Youtube cut me off at the end so you can’t hear me saying bye wtf

My makeup also looked a lot heavier for some reason..I only had eyeliner and a little bit of eyeshadow actually!!

Ok that’s all bye bye

and this is my beloved ♥

Dell Design Studio

NEW blog post under this advertorial! My first video in my short hair! =D


Advertorial

I AM
DESPERATELY
IN NEED
OF A
NEW
COMPUTER!!!!!

No seriously, desperate is not even as desperate as how really in desperado I am. I adore my Dell laptop but it’s almost 3 years old and I’ve ran out of space and the cost of buying an external hard drive is just as much as buying a new laptop =___=

Also, I cannot deny that the number one reason why I want a new laptop is cause I want a built-in webcam *simple minded wtf. I don’t want to have to lug the webcam around and I want to be able to bring my laptop somewhere and just camwhore at whim ok such an important thing to be able to do!

Seriously if I have a built-in webcam I think
1. I’ll be happier cause can camwhore more and you know how webcams take amazing camwhore pictures wtf.
2. there’ll be more camwhore pictures in my blog whee! not that there aren’t a lot already..and
3. I can take more makeup and hair videos!!! And random hi my name is suet li I actually don’t sweat that much kinda videos that everyone is dying to see

Pokoknya, I want a new laptop lah

What’s better than having a built-in webcam? Having an AWESOME DESIGN COVER! 4 GB RAM! 320 GB harddrive! Dell Design Studio lines have ALL of these and are super affordable too :D

These days it’s so hard to find a laptop that looks nice AND has good specs AND cheap tsk tsk.

Introducing: Dell Design Studio

OPI-inspired designs. Well, what can I say, it’s about time they take us women seriously wtf

Very niceeee (I love the white one!!)

This Mike Ming’s designs are really nice too!

All for the price of…jeng jeng jeng.. under RM 3,000! Dell’s online promotions are always really fawesome one lor.

More info on the laptop specs:

Intel® Core™2 Duo Processor P7450
Genuine Windows® 7 Home Premium 64bit (English)
3GB 1066MHz DDR3 SDRAM
320GB 5400RPM SATA Hard Drive

Click here to view more designs! They have sooo many other cool designs.

Recently, they also had a Dell Design Studio Make It Yours contest for people to design their own laptops and here are the winning designs!

Best entry:

Old Style by Amirul Hasrie. Lucky dude will walk away with vouchers and a Design Studio laptop with his own design!!!

Most popular design:

Dell by Sin Ong Toh

Sigh why didn’t I join! If I had joined I would have submitted this:

dell

The best of sweatlee. Not only will I not win, they will probably reject my entry on the basis that it’s a complete mockery of the contest wtf

Anyway, to tie this back to my point of this post, we all want the new Dell Design Studio laptops! So if you’re looking for one, get it online cause it’s easier and cheaper! They’ll even ship it to you as soon as the next business day to show you what the meaning of awesome is.

More HERE!

-

Have you ever felt this before-

It’s a great day and you just had the most amazing sleep ever. You wake up after a fulfilling ten-hour sleep, languidly reach for your phone to see what time it is, get up to go wash your face, slab on some moisturizer, turn on your computer, sit on your chair and just feel like..

damn, I really feel like opening this window in front of me and jump down from it. No particular reason why, just want to see if it’ll hurt. Not that I have a reason to kill myself since my life is pretty great and not like I even want to die in the first place. I just want to jump down my window, it’s that simple. And then I want to stand back up, brush the dirt off my pants, walk back to my room and then go about with my daily life.

It’s like..calisthenics or something.

I have a dream

Sometimes I feel like I’m supposed to achieve much more than this, much more than just doing well in college and hoping that I will get a good job in the future. I feel like my purpose in this world is bigger than just getting a good job that will guarantee me a stable income and let me have a nice little family in a nice little city. Sometimes I know I’m meant to do bigger things, that I have what it takes to change a lot of things. Sometimes I feel so dissatisfied and constricted in my current environment, and that I can’t wait to pop this bubble I’m in and venture to do more meaningful things in my life.

But that sometimes is so rare these days. I feel that as the second ticks by, those rare moments are like those poppable bubbles in a bubble wrap being popped one by one as time goes by. Those passionate moments of changing the world and saving mankind are being replaced with more realistic thoughts of fulfilling my own selfish needs as I grow up.

This has to stop. Whichever god you believe in, I don’t think he or she is very pleased with the fact that the world has turned into an every man for himself kinda world. This is not the world I believe in and it’s saddening how increasingly true this is as I see more and more of it each day.

I’m not a very strong and ambitious person. I’m not the Hilary Clinton type nor am I the Mother Theresa type. I can never be a politician nor will I ever be a successful and powerful businesswoman. But I know that I’m not meant to sit behind a cubicle in a 9-5 job looking forward to my paycheck every month so I can pay off my mortgage and my car loan. I know I’m not the type who will slave my soul for a private firm looking to extort money from poor unsuspecting middle-class families just so I can afford a Louis Vuitton bag to parade down the street.

I know what I’m not meant to be, but I really don’t know what I’m meant to be. I know what I don’t want, but I’m finding it so hard to know what I really want. What is my true life calling? I feel like a ping pong ball being smacked from one side to the other. I don’t want to work for a private firm, but I have to if I want to earn enough money to pay back my loans and to support my siblings. I know I want to do bigger things, but I feel like I am not capable enough to do so.

Maybe I need to do some serious rethinking about my life goals. Or maybe, I should just stop thinking so much. I cannot imagine though, living a life where you just go with the flow. If you’re just going with the flow, aren’t you just wasting all the wonderful things you are capable of? Won’t you wake up each day feeling more and more disappointed and that you can achieve much more than just what you have now?

You know what will be funny? If I read this ten years later only to realize that this is all just bullshit. Funny if I’ll finally be working in an unfulfilling 9-5 job because that is the only option I have. But I guess it’s good to know that I once have a vision for myself, a vision that is a lot bigger than what I will ever be.

My week in pictures

Yo!

Ladies and gentlemen, what lies in front of you is the best instant noodle mankind has ever created. It cooks within minutes in the microwave and does NOT taste like instant noodle at all. It’s from Szechuan and therefore I’ve come to the conclusion that anything from Szechuan is effing amazing

Korean instant noodles, although not from Szechuan, are just as amazing. So amazing that one night at 1 am, I acted on impulse and bought 20 packets online. Die lah confirm fat.

Just to show you that I can still look girlish with my short hair :D

So I went to Boston over the Spring Break cause we’re too broke to go anywhere else T__T But at least we have each other ^_^

This is me with my weapon of mass destruction wtf

No lah kidding it’s actually Barry’s

This is me with my new boots from a thrift second-hand store! Happy!!!!

I look like I need to pee but I’m just trying to squeeze into the small mirror wtf. The toilet looks ugly cause we stayed at YMCA wtf what to do cheap ma!

#1 – too hungry to type much so short captions start now. With Dominic and Lali at Harvard Square when it was 20 CELCIUS OUT WOOHOOOO

#2 Such amazing companies =D Btw damn muhibbah got chinese indian dan lain lain WTF HAHAHHAHA

#3 Random artsy picture on the bridge by the Charles River

#4 Harvard dorms by the river

#5 Berryline froyo is the shiznit!

#6 Went to visit Pooh my old friend

#7 but he wasn’t home :( (remember the song? ke ren lai, kan ma ma, ma ma bu zai jia, wo qing ke ren qing zuo xia blabla forgot wtf. so it’s pooh bu zai jia :( )

#8 Trying to be taller than Lali but failed

#9 Moho girls roxxx wtf

#10 I love Harvard Square ♥

#11 Random family chalking up the sidewalk

#12 We’re all Malaysian at heart

#13 eat curry mee must put tissue as bib!

#14 Nick Choo’s ice cream collection :O :O :O

#15 Guitar Hero to end the night!

#16 Heart-shaped aviators! ♥

#17 last picture of my girlfriend and i wtf

Now I’m back in my college with mountains of assignments =___= I can’t wait for this semester to end so I can go back to Malaysia and goyang kaki!!!

Speaking of Malaysia, VERY important news for Malaysians in the US.

I’ve probably mentioned this a million times but here goes again. Malaysia Forum this year will be at Noo Yawk Citeh!!! If you want to see me (cheh wah wtf) and eat Malaysian food and meet all the fawesome Malaysians and indulge in intellectual discussions on anything Malaysian, PLEASE COME!!!

More info here: http://www.malaysiaforum.org/nmf/

I’ve been to the past two MFs and they were great cause I always left with so much hope and optimism for our country. I think despite all that political turmoil and dramama happening, we always need that little bit of harapan to keep going.

So if you’re a passionate Malaysian hoping to make a change, or someone who just wants to come for the food and company, or someone who doesn’t give a rat ass about our country but just wants to come to kepoh, do sign up ASAP cause registration closes in a week! Need more convincing? Email me.

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